Have You Been De-Wormed Lately?

I was at the pharmacy, picking up some amoeba medication for our gardener.

As I was checking out, the pharmacist asked me, “Have you been de-wormed lately?”

“Oh!” I said.  “That’s a good reminder.  No, I haven’t.  I’ll take two for adults and three for children, please.”

When in Tanzania, it’s important to remember to de-worm every six months.  Just like going to the dentist.

Me Too! The Fight to be Seen and the Joy of Seeing

I don’t know what it’s like to give birth to a child.  I’ve heard it’s pretty astonishing; the pinnacle of joy, when a child enters the world from your body and you see his face for the first time.

But you know what?  I am honestly, genuinely happy for my friends when they have new babies.  Not a hint of jealousy.  Because I have known an equal joy.  Maybe it’s not exactly the same emotion, but I guarantee that the intensity is the same.

Gil and I returned last night from a whirlwind trip to Forever Angels, with the purpose of selecting our next son.  The contradicting emotions of feeling both heartbroken and elated clashed against each other the entire time.

The 50+ children at Forever Angels are treasured.  Their pictures and hand prints line the walls.  They eat well.  They each have their own bed.  The staff truly love these children and it shows in the way they interact with them.  There are scads of short-term volunteers who bring games, songs, face paint, and bubbles into the children’s lives.  They do everything they can to show the children they are valuable, loved, cherished.

But still, it is not okay.  Because to live in an orphanage means a daily fight against invisibility, a daily fight to be seen.

The children engage in this battle in a variety of different ways.  Some have figured out that if they are the smiliest, cheerfullest, and most affectionate, they will get the attention they crave.  Others fight–and they fight hard.  When a stranger enters the playground, they run to get first dibs on her lap.  If they succeed, they fight off–physically–anyone else who dares enter their territory.  And if the lap-giver stands up, or gives another child a turn–they scream bloody murder.

Others, I think, have just given up.  One little toddler took a turn on my lap yesterday.  When I moved her to give a turn to another, she cried a little, and then her expression filled with the most desperate despair.  She sat with her back to me, motionless, for a long while.

I held a baby in the tiny baby room–she was just a few weeks old.  I filled myself up with a baby fix and then looked around, on instinct, for someone to give her back to.  It was a harsh moment to realize that there was no one to return her to.  I just laid her gently back in bed.

Most children learn to say Mama or ball or no! as their first words.  For these children, they learn first to say Me too!  They yell it at the top of their lungs.  These past two days, the children saw me as another lap to fight for, but they craved Gil even more.  They rarely see men, so they were so excited to find a guy who would swing them around by their feet, wrestle them to the ground, and make them paper airplanes.  Me too!  Me too!  Baba, Me too!  


They are beautiful, but many times I could barely hold back the tears.  This is not how it should be.  Children should not have to fight for attention.  Children should not have to fight for a Baba to see them.  They should not have to worry about becoming invisible.

Yet our purpose there this weekend was to See One.  To see the one who is supposed to be ours, to look up and say, You are the One.  You are mine.  I see you.  Forever.  

It was only one, but at least it was One.  And it was incredibly obvious to us.  The decision was impossible because of all the others who were not chosen, but the decision was easy because we had no question that he was the One.

All of a sudden, this One’s life has completely changed.  No longer will he need to fight.  No longer will his future be full of uncertainly.  He has been seen.  He will become a Son.  And he doesn’t even know it yet.

So when a mother talks about giving birth as a pinnacle of joy, I believe her.  Because I’ve felt it too.


(We haven’t included a picture of our son yet.  He won’t get to come home for a few weeks.  There is still paperwork to be gathered and the police need to write a report concluding that no relatives can be found.  Give us a few weeks, and then we will happily introduce him to you!)

This Day

It was one of those ordinary moments that suddenly becomes profound.

A week ago, I was in the Shopper’s Plaza parking lot, and my phone beeped.  It was a text message from our social worker.  Which orphanage do you choose?  Forever Angels?  

I quickly texted back:  Yes!  

I went into the store and starting my grocery shopping.  The text kept swirling around in my head.  Why would he need that information?  He would only need it if he was writing our approval letter, right?  

But I was afraid to ask him.  I was afraid to hope.  After all, it’s been three and a half years since we started on the journey to adopt a fourth child.  We had to been told No more times than I can remember.  In the past couple of months, we had been given reason to hope that maybe it would happen.  But no one in social welfare had ever given us that assurance.

I finished shopping, forgetting half of what I came for, and went home with my thoughts spinning.  What are you waiting for? Gil asked me.  Just ask him!  

So I did.  I sent off the text:  Does this mean you are writing our approval letter?  

Yes.

YES!

And today, I was standing in the Tanzania Revenue Authority, getting our car registration renewed, when I got this text:  I have good news for you.  I have your letters for your fourth child.

After three and a half years of waiting and longing and despairing and praying, This Day finally came.

We have the letters in our hand.

In the next few days, Gil and I will fly up to Mwanza in northern Tanzania, where we will try to get to know about half dozen adorable, perfect little boys who each desperately need a family.

We will spend about 8 hours with these children, and then we will make our decision.  It will be an impossible decision, an unthinkable decision.  These boys are around 4-5 years old.  We are possibly the last chance for each of them to get a family.

Rejoice with us…..and then pray with us!

After this trip, we’ll still have a wait of about 1-2 months before we came bring him home.  But regardless, there was a whole lot of screaming and jumping and dancing in the Medina home today.

It finally happened.  We were convinced it wouldn’t, and yet here we are.

Since ancient times, no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.  (Isaiah 64:4)

Would You Ever Pay a Bribe?

Would you ever pay a bribe?

If you’re like most westerners, you’ve never really had to think about it.  You’ve probably never been asked for one.  The temptation has never been there.  It’s a non-issue.

Consider yourself blessed.

For the majority of the world, the giving and receiving of bribes is commonplace.  Happens every day, on every socio-economic level, in just about every aspect of society.

Imagine your child’s public elementary school teacher requiring him to bring a dollar to school every day, or else he won’t be allowed to attend class.

Imagine your high school student being required to pay off her teacher if she expects to pass her exams.  Or worse, perform a sexual favor.

Imagine running a printing business, but you never win bids unless you are willing to do the job under the table, tax free.

It’s complicated.  Public employees are often grossly underpaid.  Sometimes there’s a fine line between a bribe and a tip.  In America, we give tips after we have received good service; so is there a huge difference in giving a tip in order to receive good service?  In some cultures, it’s seen as the same thing.

So where is the ethical line?  These are difficult waters to navigate, that most in the West don’t really need to think about.  But for us, regular life.  While living here, we have been asked for bribes, subtlety and not-so-subtlety, in a multitude of situations, more than I can count.

Gil and I, from the very beginning of our time in Tanzania, have been rock solid in our refusal to pay bribes or contribute to any kind of corruption.  For any reason, in any situation.  This has meant that we have sometimes spent a half hour arguing with some sort of official.  It’s meant that once I spent an entire day trying to pay a traffic ticket and receive a receipt for it.  (I could have paid the officer who pulled me over about $5 and been done in 2 minutes.)

We don’t buy pirated movies, even though they are available on every street corner in Dar (and the only kind of movies available here).  When I am quoted a price on a piece of furniture, and then told that if I want a receipt, I will have to pay an additional 20% (the amount of sales tax), I always insist on a receipt.  (And depending on what kind of mood I’m in, give them a little lecture as well.)

As Christians, we should be absolutely committed to integrity.  But is there ever a time and place when paying bribes is justified?  What about Oskar Schindler, rescuing Jews?  He paid lots of bribes.  What about the people who are smuggling Bibles into North Korea, who regularly bribe border guards?  Is that justified?  There’s probably no easy answer.

Finding out about the American illegal international adoptions(often by Christians) happening in Tanzania shook me to my core.  It’s been a long time since something made me so angry.  There is no way this is happening without bribery or other forms of corruption.  And I am fighting it this week, by writing personal letters to agencies and families, urging them to reconsider.

Yet I’m sure if I were face to face with these families, or with case workers from these agencies, they would justify what they were doing.  Isn’t it worth it to give a child a better life?  What hope do these children have?  What if they end up on the street?  What if they have a condition they could die from in this country?  Don’t the ends justify the means?

No.  For me, this is an easy answer.

And the difference between this situation and Nazi Germany, or North Korea, is that I still have hope for Tanzania and it’s government. If paying bribes in those situations were justified, it’s because bribes were used as a means of bringing down a government.  Yes, there is plenty of corruption going on here.  But I believe in the future of this country, and Tanzania’s problems could be helped significantly by eliminating corruption, not contributing to it.  Tanzania has adoption laws, and their goal is to protect children, so there is no reason not to follow those laws.  Corruption brings down governments.  Corruption breeds death.  Rescuing a few children, at the expense of millions of others, is just not worth it.  

Would I love to see international adoption happening in this country?  Yes, especially for special needs children.  Does a lot still need to change?  Is there still room for reform?  Of course.  But reform is not going to happen by enabling more corruption.

We Americans wring our hands about poverty and child-trafficking and orphan care.  Let’s not make the problem worse by trying to help in the wrong way.

If you ever hear of people pursuing a Tanzanian adoption who are not living here, please put them in touch with me.  



Term 3: Pretty Much All About Sports

These are a few of my favorite things:  First grade boys with no teeth

The fire truck visits kindergarten

Farmer Lily in her kindergarten assembly

Josiah on Sports Day….God made him fast!

This one’s fast too!  Won all her races that day.

And Lily….just had fun.  

The night before the races, I asked her, “What’s more important than winning, Lily?”

She said, “Letting other people win?”

Grade 3 Assembly

U9 Girls’ Soccer…and their fantastic coach!

Grace ran her first 5K…at age 9!  Josiah and Lily ran the 1K…and my little speedy, 40 pound 7-year-old boy took everyone down!  

Page 93 of 233

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén

Verified by MonsterInsights