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When We All Feel Misunderstood

I tried to stay out of this election on social media.  I read a lot and prayed a lot and discussed a lot with face-to-face friends, but I tried to stay out of the online discussion.

I knew that no matter what position I took–literally any position–I would offend some friends. In fact, I probably offended some people just by keeping my mouth shut.  This time around, there wasn’t any middle ground where you could hang out and feel smugly comfortable.

And this week, because of the Women’s March and the Roe v. Wade Anniversary, it’s been all about abortion.  But before that it was refugees and race and transgenderism.  And it seems like whatever opinion you have, someone will tell you that you’re wrong, even if they are nice about it.  There’s just no general consensus about anything these days.  Even (especially?) among Christians.

I’m guessing everyone is feeling pretty battle weary right now.  I can tell because I keep seeing memes that say things like, “Can’t we all just get along?”  All the arguing is exhausting, isn’t it?

And yes, we can–and should–love each other.  There should be absolutely no place in public or private discussion for name-calling and shaming and just plain meanness.  The End.  Yet, does that mean that we stop the discussion altogether?  That in the name of “love” we just all keep our opinions to ourselves?

The thing is, that’s just not the way it works.  If you think Trump is dangerous, then you can’t help but speak up.  If you think he’s awesome, then you feel compelled to defend him.  If you believe abortion is murder, then you need to say that loudly.  If you believe that abortion is an important woman’s health issue, well, then you need to advocate for it.  Sometimes, speaking up is an expression of love.  For a lot of us, that’s why we do it.  It’s really not about needing to be right.



So how then do we disagree with each other productively?  I don’t know.  I honestly don’t know, and I would love to hear your thoughts.  Social media tends to be a terrible way to interact with people, yet it’s the primary way these days that people communicate ideas that are important to them.  Through all the rabble and the screaming, I certainly have refined my thinking because of online articles and discussions.  So it’s obviously not a complete waste of time.

I wonder, though, if people would benefit from more opportunities to discuss ideas away from their electronic devices.  Does politics ever get discussed at church?  In Bible studies?  Are God’s people being trained in how to navigate all these difficult issues?  I’ve always said that I would be much more enthusiastic about women’s Bible studies or retreats if they included discussions on politics, culture, and worldview.  But maybe that’s just me.

I don’t know the answer to this problem, which is destined to get worse as we navigate through an increasingly more virtual world.  But this is my piece of advice:  Explore your own worldview, be consistent with it, and know the worldview of the person you are talking to.  Every person has a worldview–whether they’ve thought about it or not.  If it’s not a particular religion, then it’s science, self-fulfillment, or some kind of mixture.  We all need to be confident of the underlying building blocks of what we believe, or there’s no way we can defend it to others.  Understanding worldview is the key to figuring out what you believe and why, and how to start engaging the people around you.

Start with this super-easy, super-fast book (like, less than an hour), and give it to your friends who enjoy deep discussion.

What’s Your Worldview?  An Interactive Approach to Life’s Big Questions by James N. Anderson

And then read this one, because really and truly, every single Christian needs to read and understand the things in this book.  It doesn’t tell you what to think, it teaches you how to think.  And if we can’t do that, we’re never going to have a prayer of figuring out all that’s bombarding us.

Finding Truth:  5 Principles for Unmasking Atheism, Secularism and Other God Substitutes by Nancy Pearcey

I am confident that a lot of the things I write offend some of my readers.  Most of you are just too nice and too polite to disagree with me in a public forum.  So let me just assure you:  I love to discuss anything I’ve written about by email.  Please, please feel free to email me (everyoneneedsalittlegrace@gmail.com) with questions, concerns, disagreements, and corrections.  I love interacting with people through writing–especially when it’s one-on-one and not the mess of Facebook.  I love robust discussion.  I learn from it, and I hope you can too.

It’s a Happy Day in Our House!

This boy has a passport!  Woohoo!

Hey California, we are coming home!  We bought tickets last night, and plan to arrive in LA on April 3rd and stay for four months.

In case you didn’t notice, Johnny’s passport is Tanzanian.  I am working on a US tourist visa application for him right now.  Once he has lived with us for two years (which will be this August), we will be able to start the process for his US citizenship.  The day that my last child has his US passport will be a wonderful day indeed!  But for now, we rejoice that we finally get to visit home.

Looking forward to seeing many of you soon!

This is Why I’m Thankful to Be An American Today

As a TCK (third culture kid) growing up overseas, I used to be anti-American.  A lot of TCKs are. They see their childhood home overseas as perfect, and America as full of a bunch of shallow, materialistic, boring, couch potatoes.

Um, sorry about that.  I could make excuses for my teenage self, that it was all a part of finding my identity between two worlds, but really I was sometimes just an arrogant snob.

I’ve grown up a lot since then.  I don’t see things in black and white; I know better than to idealize any particular culture or country or ethnicity.  All have beauty; all have been ruined; all can be redeemed.  I’ve also realized that I am much more American than I would like to admit.

And actually, living overseas as an adult has made me much more appreciative of America.  That’s what I’m thinking about today, this very significant day in American history.

I’m thinking about Zimbabwe, where the 92-year-old Mugabe is planning on running for president again–in another sham election–in a country he has held (and destroyed) in his iron fist for 36 years.  

I am thankful I am from a country where I can have a strong degree of confidence that elections are fair and ethical, and where every citizen is allowed to vote.

I read about Gambia today, where the president is refusing to step downin spite of losing a fair election, and violence is imminent.  

I’m thankful I am from a country where despite the fact that the past administration and the new administration couldn’t possibly be more different, that we can expect a peaceful transfer of power.  None of us are worried that Obama is going to change the Constitution so that he can retain power.  No one has given thought to a military coup taking over the country, which most recently was attempted in Burundi when the president insisted on running for a third term.

I’m thinking about South Sudan, South Africa, Ivory Coast, Sierra Leone, Burundi, Uganda, and Ethiopia where journalists are in constant danger, and some have lost their lives.  

I am thankful I am from a country where journalists–and ordinary people–can vocally and aggressively speak, write, and publish their opposition to the government and not fear being arrested for it. 

I know there might be some of you out there who are protesting, But…but…but…!  Yes.  I know.  We have big problems, and some of them are huge.  Listen–I’m comparing America to the rest of the world.  We still have a lot of work to do.  But there is a reason we have an immigration problem in America:  Everyone wants what we have.  Those of us who do have it should be incredibly grateful.

I know that this is a weird day in America.  Some are rejoicing; some are despairing.  As for myself, I am neither.  I am bracing myself for the worst and hoping for the best.  Our president is neither Jesus nor the anti-Christ.  America, in all it’s greatness, is just one more blip on the screen of history.  After all, God doesn’t owe me the American Dream.  Maybe our country as we know it will last only a few more years, maybe hundreds.  For those of us who claim citizenship in heaven, that is not what’s most important.



*All pictures are from the Epic Road Trip of 2013.  

Grace is Eleven

Since Grace is my oldest, I always break new parenting ground with her.  So she is my first to start transforming from my child into her own person before my eyes.

I took her errand shopping this weekend, and I was reminding her how much of a trial it was to take her shopping when she was little….how she would constantly push the mini-cart into my heels every five seconds.  I told her that story to contrast how much I genuinely enjoy her company now; how much fun it is to go shopping with her.

Grace is still a girl, of course, and will be for a while, but I am getting more and more glimpses of who she will become.  And it’s pure pleasure, because anyone who has met Grace knows that she is delightful–friendly, happy, always encouraging, always including.  She wants to be a teacher or a social worker when she grows up.  It is such a privilege to be her mom, and to watch her becoming my friend.  She already teaches me so much about what it means to love others well, because I will wholeheartedly admit that she is better at it than me.

Grace wanted a “whole-class” party this year, which meant I insisted it be held at HOPAC after school, since my living room and my nerves cannot handle 24 fifth graders in party mode.

So Dad planned a “nerf gun” party, which was enthusiastically adored by all who attended.  Kids regularly tell us, “That was the most fun birthday party I’ve ever been to!” after one of Gil’s parties. This one might have been the most epic of them all.

Ten Years Ago Today, This Blog Was Born

Today, January 13, 2017, is exactly 10 years from when I started this blog.  Here are the two posts I wrote on January 13, 2007.

I know.  You are impressed.  I started with a bang.  If you look at the time stamps, it actually took me ten minutes to write those two posts.  

I have been blogging now for a quarter of my life.  I had just turned 30 when I started, Grace had been home for a little over two months, and we had lived in Tanzania for only three years.  A lot has changed in ten years.  

I think I had an audience of maybe….200 people?…for the first several years.  I was okay with that, as I saw this blog as primary a place to communicate with our supporters and friends.  But as the years went on, I remembered how much I loved to write.  I was an avid journal writer in my younger years, and those kind of thoughts starting flowing out onto this screen.  

The post that changed it all was this one from four years ago:

The rest is here.  It was a response to the Sandy Hook school shooting.  It was the first time I wrote something that I really wanted people to read, so it was the first post I ever shared to Facebook.  My former college professor, Dr. Adams, shared it with Tim Challies, one of the biggest Christian bloggers out there, who shared the link on his blog.  Suddenly I was getting thousands of hits from around the world.  And suddenly, I had an audience.

I’ve now grown to about 30,000 hits a month.  That is still very small potatoes in the blogging world, but hey–I have an audience, and that is significant to me.  Other writing opportunities have come my way, especially this year, when I started writing monthly for A Life Overseas.  And perhaps most exciting was when a magazine bought this article to print in their magazine last October.  I got published for the first time!


Earlier this year I did a lot of thinking of whether I wanted (or God wanted) to take my writing to the next level–whatever that might be.  Like, for example, buying my own web domain and taking advertisers, that kind of thing.  Or submitting articles for other publications.  In the end, I decided, Nah.  For now, that’s not what I want.  If my audience grows, then great.  If it doesn’t, that’s fine.  I like being able to write without pressure; I like being able to post pictures of mundane things and my kids’ activities and not feel like I have to keep my numbers up.  Because honestly?  This is the main reason I blog:

Every year I take my posts and turn them into a book.  It’s like having a combination of a scrapbook and journal, and I hope that one day my kids will read them and know their mom’s heart.  So really, if no one else reads what I write, it’s worth it to me if it will one day be important to my kids.  

That’s not to say that I don’t appreciate you–my readers.  I am incredibly grateful for you.  I love when you share my posts, or interact with them.  My favorite is when you email me to say that something resonated with you.  You spur me on to keep going and become a better writer.  

Blogging is one of the ways that the internet has changed the world for so many people.  Now anyone can be a photographer, or sell their handmade products to the entire country, or be a writer and find an audience.  It’s a tremendous opportunity.  


To commemorate the occasion, here are some of my favorite or significant posts from over the last ten years:

Little Grace:  That time my two-year-old got stuck in the house by herself, or that time when she sang Amazing Grace in front of the whole school or she was just really, really cute.  

Bringing home Josiah:  The Sadand The Hopeand The Joy.  How this boy made me smitten and how his visa caused us much grief.  

On infertility.

My first post on the topic of poverty (which became many, manymore).

That time when everything flooded.  

The story of Gil and Amy (how we ended up in Tanzania is mixed in there too)

Meeting Lily and waiting for Lily and waitingsome more and finally bringing her home and that hard transition.

Struggling with electricity problems (I wrote a LOTof posts about this!), struggling with the lack of permanency in my life, struggling with the death of my friend’s baby, struggling with fearand safety

Our transition away from HOPAC and Gil’s legacythere.  

Moving back to the States for a year, and reflections from a week in culture shock.  

The miracle of Apartment #14.

Cultural Schizophrenia.

Re-thinking short-term missions.

Why I believe something as astonishing as the Resurrection.

What I love about America and what I don’t miss.  

After This, American Bridal Showers Will Always Be Boring.

Tanzanian worldview:  Evil Spirits and Electricity Problems, Witchdoctors and Football, Murdering Albinos, The Witchdoctor’s Goats.

Finally, finally, bringing Johnny home.  

The Great Battle of 2016 for Dar es Salaam (and the Soul of Amy Medina)

God Doesn’t Owe Me the American Dream

If I had to choose my all-time favorites, I think they would be When I Am Not Sane and Anarchy is Loosed Upon the World.

Thank you for reading and for being a part of my story!

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