In order to break the solemnity of the last two weeks on this blog, I offer you the following:
Last week, I needed to buy 76 liters (20 gallons) of ice cream for an all-school event at HOPAC. So I headed out to our local grocery store and asked the manager if I could order 76 liters of vanilla ice cream to pick up on Friday morning. After all, this is not Costco. This store doesn’t normally carry that much ice cream.
The manager and I got the order all sorted out, and then he re-appeared with a plastic grocery bag tied at the top with a shiny ribbon. This is a thank-you gift, he told me.
Now, before I show you the contents, let me assure you that I am not complaining. Customer service is not assumed around here, so I was quite pleased that the manager thought to extend this gift to me.
But I was also quite amused.
The gift bag contained:
1 box of popcorn
1 box of chocolate cookies
2 small jars of mayonnaise, one of them expired
11 trial sized toothpaste tubes in two flavors: Neem, and Salt/Lemon (What? You don’t use those flavors?)
1 energy drink
1 can of ginger beer
1 container of mint mentoes
2 containers of strawberry tic-tacs
1 Spiderman top
1 unidentifiable triangular toy
But the very best item of all was this:
This, my friends, is a very handy kitchen tool meant for microwaving apples.
I know you are jealous.
We unfortunately do not own a microwave, though I’m not sure that cooking apples in a microwave has ever been a top priority.
You know what this means, don’t you? I now have in my possession the most perfect White Elephant Gift ever. Shhh…..don’t tell anybody.
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