Tag: The Motivation for Everything Page 1 of 3

Living in Saturday

We don’t talk much about Saturday. Friday, yes, because now, looking back two thousand years, we know that Friday was Good. But on that original Friday, they didn’t yet know that. All they knew was the horror, the trauma, the beatings, the blood. And Saturday, all they knew was hopelessness and despair. All their dreams nailed down in a torturous crucifixion. Their closest friend, their mentor, their Lord–the one who had calmed the seas and winked at small children–condemned, humiliated, despised.

And they figured they were next. So they spent Saturday in hiding. Hunkered down, the windows closed, in shock. This was not how it was supposed to be. The end was supposed to be a kingdom–power, praise, honor! And they would be right by his side, the conquering hero, leading the people, soaking in the praise by association. But in one horrifying Friday, all of that was decimated. What went wrong? Is God angry with us? How could we have been so misled? This is not how it was supposed to be. 


We know better now. We know what’s coming on Sunday, so we don’t think much about Saturday. Yet, in a very real sense, we live in that Saturday. 

Perhaps this year more than ever, the world is faced with the reality of that Saturday. There’s always been suffering, poverty, war, disease. But in my generation of relatively prosperous Americans, there’s never been a time in our lives when we corporately have felt more powerless, more isolated, more out of control. Here we are, on a planet that’s an infinitesimal speck in a universe of mind-blowing proportions. Yet seemingly immovable cultures and institutions are cut off at the knees by an even more infinitesimal speck that lurks unseen by all of us. We are very, very small, aren’t we? The breath that keeps us alive for another few seconds is not something to be trifled with. We are not as strong as we think we are.

Resurrection, restoration, redemption came on that Sunday. Life was restored. Death was conquered. The world was never the same again. Yet as miraculous as the Resurrection was, it was just the deposit. The down payment for That Day–not yet come–when all things will be made new.

Until then, we still live in Saturday. The earth groans under the weight of war and hatred and injustice. Our frail bodies collapse from a microscopic enemy. We are driven to our knees with the tangible reminder that this is not heaven.

Yet one thing makes us different from those who hid away on that dark, hopeless Saturday. Yes, like them, we grieve, we anguish, we fear. But we have hope. That’s the difference. We grieve, but with confident expectation of what’s coming. We are on our knees, but we look up. If God could take the worst day in history and use it for our salvation, can He not redeem all the other hard things? The tomb was empty on Sunday. One day, ours will be too.

Dar es Salaam, Tanzania (Gil Medina)

Why I’m Still an Evangelical

Sometimes I sit inside my head and contemplate how miraculous it is that I exist.

My own consciousness is the most real thing in the universe to me. How utterly extraordinary. I, Amy Medina, didn’t exist before the spring of 1976, and then suddenly, I existed. Inside this assortment of blood and bones is a consciousness, an individual person who can think and feel and evaluate.

The more I marvel at my own soul’s existence, the more certain I am of God’s existence. Something as astonishing as my own consciousness could not have just happened by raw chance. It would only be possible if there was a larger, more powerful, more all-knowing consciousness who existed long before me and separately from me: God.

That’s settled for me. But…..who is this God? Can we know him?  Some say no, and are content to live with the unknowing. That’s never been me.

Since I was a teenager, I’ve had an insatiable desire to know. Not just feel, not just assume, but to know. I’ve never been able to ignore the hard questions, no matter how much they scare me or shake me or make me uncomfortable. Why do you believe what you believe? Is it just because you were raised this way? Is it just because you want to please people? Is is just because you’ve made a name for yourself in this belief system and you would lose too much to leave it?

Sometimes I wish I didn’t think so much, that my mind would just let me rest. Yet I must have answers. And those questions aren’t the kind that I answer once and then move on with life. I’m friends with some who are convinced of very different belief systems, and that’s unsettling. I hear about leaders abandoning the faith that I have held fast to. I see those who claim to share my beliefs but also are capable of despicable things. I encounter unspeakable evil and suffering. And once again, I question. Who is this God? Can I know him? Does he care?

An evangelical, by common definition, is a Christian who reads the Bible as if it’s actually true. This doesn’t mean that all evangelicals agree on everything the Bible says, but it does mean that we use it as our foundation of Truth. It’s a way of seeing and understanding the world: A worldview.

Unfortunately the term “evangelical” in America has been covered with the muck of politics, which is, actually, unbiblical, since Jesus made it clear that Christians’ first allegiance is to the kingdom of God, not the kingdom of man. Also unfortunately, there are always a number of very public “evangelicals” who drag the name through the mud with repulsive acts. (Which, actually, shouldn’t surprise us, since as evangelicals, we understand the heinousness of sin.) As a result, many who once called themselves evangelical are abandoning the description. Sometimes they are just dropping the name; sometimes they’re dropping the entire belief system.

But I’m sticking with it. Because for now, there’s no better way to describe what I believe.

Back to my question: Can we know this God? The Bible says Yes. This doesn’t mean, of course, that the Bible is without complications. Some parts of it are really hard to understand. Some parts are downright disturbing. But when taken as a big picture, the Bible is a comprehensive narrative of the history of the universe. The story of reality. It answers all of life’s biggest questions, the ones we all must grapple with: Where did we come from? Why is everything so broken? And what hope is there of fixing it?

The longer I live, the more I experience of life, the more I study this extraordinary book, the more it makes sense. The more it resonates with what I actually see in the world. That doesn’t mean that I don’t still have doubts. It doesn’t mean that I’m still not disturbed by some of what I read or see. But if this life is a jigsaw puzzle of disjointed and often contradictory pieces of information, the Bible has helped me to sort them out, lay them in lines, and fit them together. And the further I walk down this road, the more pieces snap into place.

There is no real beauty, joy, or love if there is no Creator.

There is no inherent value in human life if we were not created in the image of God.

There is no moral system that governs our lives–no right or wrong–if there is no authority of Scripture.

There is no purpose of existence without the overarching story of a sovereign God.

There is no hope of redemption without the cross of Christ.

In the book of John, chapter 6, there’s a turning point in Jesus’ ministry. He talked about how following him meant a complete, wholehearted, dependence on him for life and salvation–as dependent as we are on food. Many of his followers were offended. “On hearing this, many of his disciples said, ‘This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?

And then: “From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. ‘You do not want to leave too, do you?’ Jesus asked the Twelve.

Simon Peter answered him, ‘Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.”

I see myself there, grumbling: Why should I trust you, God? Why should I submit myself to Christ’s authority? I can’t comprehend why you let that happen, why you put that passage in the Bible, why you allow so much suffering, why you won’t answer this prayer, why that person walked away.

Yet over and over again, I come back to Peter’s response. Where else would I go? And it’s not because this was how I was raised, or I am afraid of what people will think, or this is what is comfortable. I believe because there is no where else to go. Again and again, I explore other belief systems. Again and again, I ask myself the hard questions. And again I am convinced: This is the Truth. What the Bible teaches is Truer Truth than any other belief system I have encountered.

I don’t say this arrogantly, because my faith has wavered more times than I care to admit. I’m like the father who cried, “I believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” while begging God to show up. But I say it as one whose life has been transformed by the truth found in the Bible, and I encourage others to consider it. I am simply a beggar telling another beggar where to find bread.*

*Originally attributed to D.T. Niles

Pressed Against the Veil

I taught sixth grade Bible for several years, and the most boring lesson was always about the temple.

Source

I would make my students memorize the sections of the temple: The outer and inner courts, the Holy Place, and finally, the Holy of Holies, where the very presence of God dwelt. Only one priest once a year would have the privilege of entering it, and a veil–a curtain several inches thick–separated the Holy of Holies from the rest of the temple. Since it was rare that a person could stand in the presence of God and not die, that priest would have a rope tied around his leg, just in case he blew it and his lifeless body would need to be yanked out.

My students thought that part was cool. But the rest of it? Boring. I couldn’t blame them. But I still taught it, year after year, because I knew that when we got to Good Friday, it would be worth it, and I would hit pay dirt.

We would reach the day of Jesus’ crucifixion, they would find themselves interested, in spite of their 12-year-old obligation to never be interested in anything. Things would start clicking into place. We had studied the story of Abraham’s sacrifice of Isaac, so they suddenly understood how Jesus’ death paralleled that event. We had learned about Moses and the Passover, so light bulbs went off when they realized the significance of Jesus dying at the exact time that the lambs were being slaughtered at the temple.

But that was nothing compared to their reaction when they heard about the curtain.

Nestled into the accounts of Jesus’ death is one line: “At that moment the curtain in the temple was torn in two from top to bottom.” (Matt. 27:51) Tangible shock waves would go through the classroom.

The curtain. The curtain that symbolized man’s separation from God. The curtain that practically no one could go through without dying. That curtain.

It tore in two? From top to bottom? What do you think that would have been like? I would ask them. The priests would have been freaking out! they would exclaim. No one was supposed to go in there! Hardly anyone had ever even seen behind it!

But since they understood the temple, they understood the significance. Jesus’ death meant God opened a way to get to Him. Jesus–the one who called Himself The Way. 



The curtain tore. Sometimes, those 12-year-old adolescents who were never impressed by much–sometimes they would even cry.

There’s asong I love from about 25 years ago, which sounds like it was recorded 25 years ago, but it’s still on my playlist.

Once there was a holy place

Evidence of God’s embrace

And I can almost see mercy’s face

Pressed against the veil



Looking down with longing eyes

Mercy must have realized

That once His blood was sacrificed

Freedom would prevail



And as the sky grew dark

And the earth began to shake

With justice no longer in the way



Mercy came running

Like a prisoner set free

….When I could not reach mercy

Mercy came running to me

Jesus cried, It is finished! The curtain tore, and mercy came running.

If You Knew Me, You Would Say Much Worse

“An ISIS-inspired terrorist plowed into a group of seven bicyclists in Tajikistan on July 29, killing four of them. Two of the four killed were Americans, Jay Austin and Lauren Geoghegan, both 29, who had quit their jobs to embark on a biking tour of the world in July of 2017. Friends told the media that the couple wanted to meet new people and see new places, and that they had a strong belief in the goodness of human nature. ‘People, the narrative goes, are not to be trusted. People are bad. People are evil,’ Austin wrote. ‘I don’t buy it.’ He called evil ‘a make-believe concept.'”

(WORLD Magazine, September 1, 2018)

Jay and Lauren weren’t alone in this belief. In fact, the recent Ligonier Ministry’s survey found that over 50% of self-proclaimed evangelicals believe “Everyone sins a little, but most people are good by nature.”

If the oil light in your car goes on, you can cover it up with a piece of tape, but your engine will eventually explode. If the doctor says ‘cancer,’ it doesn’t really matter how fine you feel, you can only ignore it for so long.

And you can fervently believe that people are ‘good by nature,’ but the terrorists will still be plowing over bicyclists.

We live in a world where I have to make five-year-olds practice hiding in a closet in case someone wants to shoot them at school. And then I have to turn right around and do scheduling gymnastics so that one of those same five-year-olds isn’t left alone in a room with an adult during her piano lesson. The closet seems safe, until it’s not.

I’d like to divide the world into heroes and villains, with me as a hero, of course. I’d like to think that I would run into the burning building or offer to scuba dive (if I knew how to scuba dive) into the caves to save the young boys. It’s true there is something in human nature that rises to the occasion when the world needs a hero. Except, we’re kind of confused on what a hero is. A lot of Americans thought the guys who dropped bombs on Japan were heroes, but the Japanese thought otherwise. For that matter, a lot of people thought those guys who flew planes into buildings were pretty heroic as well.

Apparently the definition of heroism is pretty murky.

It is, however, a whole lot easier to see the evil out there than it is to see it in here. I mean, I would never kidnap a child to be a slave or rip open a pregnant woman or use human skin in science experiments. I would never machete my neighbor’s head or toss a disabled baby into a field or prostitute myself. I am, after all, a good person.

That is, as long as I am well-fed, well-rested, and feeling safe, fulfilled, and relaxed.

So if I figuratively bite someone’s head off when I am feeling the least bit tired, anxious, hungry, or stressed, what makes me think I wouldn’t be capable of the atrocities that revolt me? After all, I am of the same blood and bones as the the people who did (or do) commit such things.

Why then are we so very reluctant to acknowledge the sinful nature of mankind? Pick up a history book–any history book–and see how many times the oppressed, when given the opportunity, become the oppressors. Is it power that corrupts? Or is it possible that the corruption is already inside of us, just waiting for the right set of circumstances? That’s them, not me, we tell ourselves. But why? Why do we think we are any different?

And therein lies the heart of the matter. If we acknowledge the depravity of them, we must therefore acknowledge the depravity within. It’s much easier to just believe that we are all ‘good by nature.’ Because I know I’m really not that different from other people. So if I believe they’re good, then I can believe the same about myself.

We would rather cover up the oil light or ignore the cancer than believe the truth.

So we remain so hopeful. I’m only grumpy when I don’t have my coffee. My life will be better as long as I ignore the toxic people in it. Surely my child wouldn’t be capable of that, right? Surely that horrible thing won’t happen to my family, my city, my country….right? Surely we just need to lock up the bad guys, and then we’ll all be safe and happy.

But these days, we all know what happens next. As soon as we set our sights on the next “model of goodness”–be he pastor or doctor or judge or actor–it’s just a matter of time before we find him down in the mud.

When will we learn? Why is it so hard to just admit that even though we may not be as evil as we could be all of the time, all of us are capable of far more evil than we want to admit?

Or maybe it’s because of the severity of the solution. It’s one thing to stop at Walmart and buy five quarts of oil, it’s another thing when the doctor says, “You have a good chance of surviving, but it’ll take a year of chemo.” So when God tells us that the solution to our sin is found in surrendering our lives to Jesus, sometimes we would rather just cover up the oil light.

I get why those who want nothing to do with Jesus choose that option. But why….why, why, why do those of us who supposedly have tasted the sweetness of his grace, why do we believe the same way?

Christians should be the ones who understand the depravity of sin, so why do we continue to assume our leaders are above it? Why do we treat our Christian reputation as a crystal glass, something that we must continue to shine and polish and look pretty, while allowing rot to fester within? And when that rot comes to the surface, why do we hide it? Why on earth do we hide it?

We have the answer! We have the answer! We’ve been able to give the Sunday School answer since we were five years old: “Jesus died for our sins,” and yet we don’t live like it! 

If Jesus died for our sins, then we have nothing to hide. When sin comes to the surface, we have no reputations to protect. We have no one to blame. We have no excuses. We don’t need them! We can acknowledge with sincere gravity that our nature is evil….and that’s why Jesus died.

We don’t minimize the consequences, because we recognize that evil is real and we must advocate for justice. But we also always have hope of redemption. As much as we push for consequences, we don’t force the sinners to grovel forever in the mud, because we know there is hope in Jesus for any sinner.

Of course, grace feels scandalous. What? There’s grace available even for those monsters? Won’t that allow them to just keep doing it? But Paul anticipated that argument in Romans 6: Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Swimming in a sea of grace doesn’t mean that we have license to revel in sin. We root out sin–in ourselves, in our churches. Not as a means of controlling people. Not as a witch hunt; not in order to beat others over the head with it. But because we know it’s there. And we can’t deal with it by denying it’s existence.

What we often forget about these truths is that there is incredible, extraordinary freedom in understanding both sin and grace. The more I understand my sinful nature, the more I am living in reality. I am not surprised by how other people act or how I act. I am not disillusioned by what others are capable of.  I have freedom from shame. Freedom from the fear of discovery. Freedom from the weight of what other people think of me.

L.E Maxwell wrote, “The next time someone reproves you, just say, ‘You don’t know half the truth. If you knew me you would say much worse.’ This may help you into harmony with the Cross. It will at least be the truth.”

Sin and grace are symbiotic. The more we are aware of our sin, the more heavily we sink into grace. The more we sink into grace, the more we hate our sin. And that’s what gives us the catalyst for true change.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.

I once was lost, but now I’m found, was blind but now I see.

A man who claims to be God rises from the dead.

A man who claims to be God rises from the dead. To our enlightened, scientific, modern minds, it sounds preposterous. But the existence of the universe itself is also preposterous, so somewhere along the way, we have to think outside of what science tells us should happen.

There are times, of course, that I doubt. Having faith does not presuppose the absence of doubt. Was that really an answered prayer or just a coincidence? Are my beliefs just a product of my upbringing? Do I continue to believe simply because I am afraid of the social consequences of unbelief?

Those questions once terrified me, but I have learned to face them head on without fear. God doesn’t need defending, and though the water might be murky when it’s stirred up, Truth always rises to the surface.

I am just one person out of seven billion on this tiny planet, and each of us brings a different perspective to the table. How can we possibly ever find Truth? There will always be another side to every story. We will never collectively agree. We grasp onto the ideas of One, whether that be Buddha or Gandhi or Oprah, but how can we be sure that their ideas are actually more enlightened than our own? Our personal self is the most real thing to us, which explains why so many end up constructing their own private religions.

So is finding Truth even possible?

Some say no, but no one actually lives that way. It’s easy to say Truth doesn’t exist until some great evil is committed against you, and then you know, to the core of your being, that somehow there are Great Standards in the universe, and they’ve been violated.

If Truth does exist, then it has to be outside of ourselves. It can’t come from any man, because no man can ever see outside his own perspective. It has to be a supernatural revelation. Anything else is going to be our own construct, or somebody else’s. There are just no other options.

There are plenty of so-called supernatural revelations out there, so it comes down to which one to trust. For me, the self-proclaimed deity of Jesus, combined with the historical reliability of his death and resurrection, is why I’ve thrown my lot in with the Bible. Everything hinges on those events of two thousand years ago. Everything.

Not every question is answered, of course. Can any worldview answer every question? There still is a level where, despite our innate understanding that we are more than just mortal beings, we will never be able to grasp everything. That’s where faith comes in.

Some also may argue that we don’t know exactly what the Bible does say. I will grant that, on some things. But if we agree that the Bible is a supernatural revelation, if we decide to base our lives on it, then we at least will be heading in the right direction. We may get the interpretation wrong, but the Bible itself is never wrong. There has to be an objective standard.

If we don’t like that, then what other options do we have? We can either pick another revelation, or we can rely on our own limited perspective. There are no other options.

A man who claims to be God rises from the dead. It starts as dry philosophical objectivity, but it doesn’t end there. Because of the Resurrection, love, hope, forgiveness, grace, purpose and beauty burst forth into the world. They became historical realities, not just feel-good concepts.

And thus, Jesus is worthy of our worship. Which is why I celebrate today.

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