Tag: The Interesting and the Amusing in My Daily Life Page 7 of 10

Oops.

On April 16, 2013

We’re supposed to be excited KFC is coming to town. I guess because it’s American. But considering the fact that fried chicken is already a staple here, and I never really liked KFC to begin with, all I can say is….meh.

However, this billboard intrigues me.

Problem #1: Though Tanzanians eat almost everything with their hands, they do not lick their fingers. At all. This is why many dining rooms include a small sink in the corner.

Problem #2: I should specify that Tanzanians do not eat with their hands, but their hand. Their right hand. Food is never touched with the left hand while eating. The left hand is reserved for unmentionable bathroom activites.

Someone on the KFC marketing committee did not do their cultural homework.

Orange Max

By Amy Medina

On March 10, 2013

In Other

I do wonder sometimes who gets more excited about dress-up days at school: Grace, or her Daddy. It’s a toss-up, really.

Last week was Book Week and Friday was Book Character Day. First Grade had Dr. Seuss, and so the Medina family decided that Grace would be the Grinch. (The nice Grinch, we said, after he decided to give all the toys back.)

Part of the reason we decided on the Grinch was so that Grace could bring Minnie to school. Except that, according to Daddy, it was a problem that the Grinch’s dog, Max, was a brown dog, and Minnie was white.

So that sent him on a quest: Turn Minnie into a brown dog. Hair dye did not work. Henna did. Which actually turned the poor dog orange, but you get the idea.

Never a dull moment around here.

She got the prize for best costume in her class. I think that actually the judge just felt sorry for Minnie.

When I brought Minnie home from school Friday morning, after the assembly, our gardener gave me a really strange look at the now-orange dog.

Dawa? he asked. [Medicine?] Makes sense, since we are constantly fighting ticks.

I thought about this question for about three seconds. Then I realized that I didn’t know the Swahili words for dye, Grinch, Dr. Seuss, or costume. Or, even if I did, how he could possibly understand why children would dress up like book characters, AND why it would therefore be necessary to have an ~~orange~~ brown dog.

I gave up. Yes, Dawa, I said.

Who knows? Maybe henna will keep the ticks away.

Comprehensive

By Amy Medina

On January 13, 2013

In Other

Response #1: Laughter

Quick, Gil, get out your phone and take a picture!

Do you think the police will accept this reasoning as legitimate when they pull this guy over?

Response #2: Frustration

When will Tanzanians stop seeing Jesus as a good luck charm? As a talisman that will protect them or give them what they want? As just another spirit to appease?

Response #3: Rethinking

As much as they’ve got it wrong, so do I. At least their worldview is comprehensive; at least they automatically integrate the spiritual with the secular.

How often do I trust my insurance over my Jesus?

except the Traffic

By Amy Medina

On December 22, 2012

In Other

I recently saw this t-shirt:

Oh yes. That is my life as a resident of Dar, but even more so as an adoptive mama.

A bit of relief has been felt in this household in the past few weeks, as we have acquired two new passports:

If you could only understand what goes into procuring these precious little books of paper. Bringing home Lily’s Tanzanian passport turned into a much bigger undertaking than expected, or necessary. But such is life.

Last week I realized that in order to track down this passport, I would need to go to the immigration headquarters building in downtown Dar es Salaam. I had only been there once, and my perception of it was that it was far, far away. Never never land. Like, the kind of errand that would take me the better part of an entire day to complete. Needless to say, I was not looking forward to it.

I also did not remember how to get there. Gil told me to look it up on Google Maps.

“You can do that here?” I said. I was incredulous. I didn’t believe him. But he was right.

I didn’t know a lot of those streets even had names. But my main shock in seeing these directions is that it told me that it is only 25 kilometers (15 miles) from our house to Kurasini.

15 miles? 15 miles! Like, if I was in America, I could jump on the freeway and be there in 20 minutes? Like I said, my perception was that this place was in Never Never Land.

My second shock came from Google Map’s estimation of how long it would take to get there: 34 minutes.

At this, I had myself a good long laugh. Obviously, that little satellite up there, looking down on good ol’ Dar es Salaam, has no idea that 5 million people live in this city. 5 million people on roads that could handle about 250,000, give or take a few.

34 minutes. Ha ha HA.

So when I left for the trip, I set my clock. 90 minutes later, I arrived. 90 minutes for 15 miles. No wonder I thought it was so far away. And it took at least that long to get back home.

But at least, we are now a 7-passport family. Can’t wait until we are an 8-passport family, when Lily has her U.S. passport. The day that I am done acquiring passports will be a Day of Celebration. You will be invited. But it will take you at least two hours to get to our house from the airport. (Google Maps: 17 miles, 46 minutes)

English Lesson

By Amy Medina

On December 12, 2012

In Other

I remember the first time I heard the term gobsmacked. I was in a HOPAC staff meeting a number of years ago, with a British principal, and when he said it, all the Americans just stared at him. What did you say?

It’s rather amusing, working in an enviroment with Brits and Scots and Irish. We all speak English, but sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. The Revolutionary War did more than just make two separate countries; it also created two separate vocabularies. And even in a school environment, sometimes we have difficulty communicating. Until you get used to it, there are a lot of blank stares.

Some examples:

Invigilate = proctor

Rubber = eraser

Full stop = period

Penultimate week = week before the last

Fortnight = two weeks

Squared paper = graph paper

Mark exams = grade tests

Dust bin = trash can

Maths = math

File = binder

And so on.

Then there’s food:

Aubergine = eggplant

Biscuit = cookie

Sweets = candy

Pudding = dessert

Crisps = chips

Chips = French Fries (which they also like to stick between two pieces of bread with mayo and call a sandwich)

I could go on. There’s more….oh, there’s so much more.

This leads to some rather hilarious conversations. For example, last week I was with some friends and we were discussing how the British say bum pack when the Americans would say fanny pack. The reason for this is because the British find the word fanny to be extraordinarily crude. (Very sorry to the Brits reading this post and forced to see this word in print.) The laughter that ensued from this conversation (which included both Americans and Brits) was jolly, indeed.

Another example:

When Americans hear the word pantomime, they think of this:

But when Brits hear the word pantomime, they think of this:

A British pantomime is always a humorous twist on a fairy tale, the lead characters are always played by the opposite gender, and it is always performed at Christmastime. There is most definitely talking (and singing) involved, and the audience always participates by booing and hissing and cheering at appropriate times. It is a important British tradition and the local theatre in Dar always puts on one, every December.

And yes, that is Doug B., for those of you who know him.

Since our friends were directing/starring in the pantomime this year, Gil got to be the photographer.

So just remember: If a British child asks you for a rubber, you needn’t be gobsmacked, he just wants an eraser.