Tag: Suffering

Those Who Suffer Are My Teachers

On May 1, 2019

I’ve always been ambivalent about Santa and the Easter Bunny.

I probably would feel that way anywhere we lived, but I especially would never be able to pull off those stories in Tanzania. I can’t bring myself tell my children that a magical old man or giant bunny is leaving them gifts when they see children every day who are living in poverty. How could I ever explain to them that Santa only leaves gifts for them, but not for their neighbors? How would I excuse the Easter bunny’s negligence of the little girl begging at our car window on the way to church?

I must hold my theology of God to the same standard.

Living as an American in a developing country has forced me to wrestle hard with what I believe. Am I believing an American gospel? Or the actual gospel?

Even though it’s easy for me to disdain the misuse of Jeremiah 29:11, how many times have I caught myself thinking, God would never let that terrible thing happen to me? How often have I needed to remind myself, God doesn’t owe me the American dream?

I’m embarrassed to admit the number of times I have wallowed in self-pity, asking God, Why me? Or how often have I realized that lurking around in the back of my mind is the notion that God just wants me to be happy?

Theology that can’t transcend culture, time, and experience isn’t Truth at all.

If what I believe is true, then it must be true for the Christians of Mozambique who lost everything in one cyclone–home, business, community–only to be hit by another a few weeks later. It’s got to be true for the Christian in Sri Lanka who simultaneously lost his wife and three children in a terrorist attack.

How dare I think that God owes me anything? I shouldn’t be asking Why me? but rather Why not me?

Of course, it’s not just those in developing countries who suffer. I think of Scott and Johanna Watkins, who discovered shortly after their marriage that Johanna had developed life-threatening allergies to just about everything, including Scott. Or Grace Utomo, who was an extraordinarily talented violinist when she was hit by a car at 23 years old. She now suffers from multiple seizures a day and can hardly ever leave the house.

Can I think about the lives of these suffering souls and believe that God just wants me to be happy? When I worry about the future, should I assure myself that God would never let that happen to me when he has already allowed much worse to happen to others who bear his name?

Ironically, the Bible speaks far more about oppression, injustice, and suffering than it does about happiness. Persecution is an expectation. We tend to forget that Paul wrote Rejoice in the Lord always while he was languishing in prison. There is no fear of contradiction between the gospel of Jesus and the reality of suffering. Which means that the problem lies in my own assumptions, not in the Bible.

I have learned to pay attention to those who suffer and yet remain steadfast in their faith. When my friend Lucy’s house was marked for demolition, she told me, “God gives and takes away. We will bless the name of the Lord, no matter what happens.”

Grace Utomo asks, Can I really call God ‘kind?’ and answers, “We would have no idea of how faithful and valuable God really is if we never knew loss in some capacity. We have souls that live forever, but our physical conditions are only temporary. Our job is to cling to eternity, and to the hope that we will enjoy God most fully at the end of our earthly life. Until then, we have the beautiful (albeit sometimes painful) opportunity to know God as a faithful refuge. If we look beyond the temporary, God is indeed kind.”

Scott Waktins writes, “Seeing upheavals so commonly in the scriptures reminds me that not only are Johanna and I in good company, but that it is serving a greater purpose. These difficult circumstances we are going through are not a cosmic accident. They are serving a purpose I don’t fully see, but one that I believe will lead to good. The upheaval of the past years has not upheaved my relationship with God. Instead, it has helped me deeply appreciate the upheaval of Jesus’ life and its lasting impact on the world.”

I am not worthy to stand in the presence of these suffering saints. They are my teachers. Theirs is the theology I seek.

Missionaries are Supposed to Suffer….So Am I Allowed to Eat Lobster?

By Amy Medina

On July 27, 2016

In Thoughts on Missions

I’m going to let you in on one of missionaries’ biggest secrets: They are terrified to tell you about their vacations.

(Noooooo!!! I can hear my missionary friends protesting. Not that! Write about anything but that!!!) Sorry friends. I’ve got this reputation of revealing to the world what missionaries aren’t telling you.

Missionaries are supposed to suffer, so am I allowed to eat lobster?

Some of our good friends just went to the States on home assignment. Their son had just graduated from high school and some of his best friends now live in Europe. Since their flights took them through Europe, they extended their time there to three weeks. They had a wonderful time, but they made sure to write and explain to their supporters that they stayed with friends the entire time, and never paid for any hotels.

Other missionary friends spent a few weeks in Europe the traditional way, in low-key hotels and touristy sight-seeing. They had saved up for this trip during their entire marriage and they figured that doing it on their way home from Africa would make good financial sense. I was excited for my friends and encouraged them to post lots of pictures on Facebook. “I don’t know,” my friend told me. “If we do post pictures, we’ll have to only allow certain people to see them. I’m afraid of what people will think.”

Another missionary friend’s mother paid for the two of them to take a Mediterranean cruise. When she told me, she made sure I knew it was top-top secret. I think only two or three other people ever knew about it–before or after.

This past weekend, we spent four nights at a beach house about two hours away. The house is a bit rustic, with no hot water and only solar lighting, but it’s beautiful, and perched on the most amazing beach I have ever experienced. The owner of the house included a seafood dinner for free, with more lobster than we could ever stuff ourselves with. Eat away, I told my kids. You might never get it again in your childhood. This is the kind of place where the beauty and serenity fills your soul and makes you a better person.

And it costs less than staying at a cheap motel in the States.

See? I had to throw that in there.

I’ll say it again: Missionaries are terrified to tell you about their vacations. (Pastors too, just in case you were wondering.)

After all, missionaries are supposed to suffer. And how dare we raise support from people’s sacrificial giving and then use it for a vacation?

The struggle is real, folks. We are afraid of your criticism or disappointment. And for good reason, since we’ve all heard stories of missionaries who lost support as soon as people found out about their vacation.

I understand that this is a tricky issue–because it’s a heart issue. I’m sure there are missionaries who make selfish or unhealthy financial decisions–just like lots of other Christians. I am all about accountability, and godly priorities, and fighting against our instinct to make comfort or wealth an idol. But if it’s acceptable for other Christians to take vacations, if they are living generously, wisely, and with a heavenly mindset, then why can’t missionaries do so as well?

After all, doesn’t all of our money belong to God, no matter how we acquire it?

So go out and ask your favorite missionaries to tell you about their vacations. Assure them that you won’t judge. Be happy for them, just like you would be for your other friends. Because honestly? I am excited to share these pictures. This kind of beach is one of the major perks of living in Tanzania. We had a wonderful time, and it’s fun to share it with you.