Tag: Lily Page 5 of 9

Beautiful Mystery

Lily’s adoption was finalized today.  Today!  June 27th, 2012. 

I wasn’t there, actually.  I had showed up for the last 4 court appointments, the last one being yesterday, and the judge didn’t show up.  The clerk said to come back today.

But today I didn’t have anyone to watch my kids, and I was feeling like they needed me and I had been leaving them too often.  And since I don’t really need to be there for the ruling, and since I had already gone 4 times with nothing happening, I decided not to go. 

And of course, as Murphy’s Law would have it, today was The Day.  So I am bummed that I missed hearing the ruling myself, but not bummed that I would have had to sit for 4 hours in the court house waiting with my kids in order to hear it. 

Our lawyer Brooke told me that hearing a judge grant an adoption order is like being in the delivery room when the head pops out.  So yesterday, when we were discussing whether or not I would come to court today, she told me, “Well, just look at it this way.  For your first two, you had natural births.  This time, if you miss it, it’s because you had a c-section and they had to knock you out.”

So since I wasn’t actually present during the ruling today, she texted me, “At 12:40 pm today you had a c-section under general anesthesia.  Lily Zawadi Medina is now legally all yours.  You might be sore for a couple of days.” 

Brooke’s pretty awesome like that.

She said that the judge was pretty dramatic when he made the ruling, and he made sure to tell Brooke that this adoption must be full of “love and tenderness….not just love.”  And then proceeded to tell everyone present the difference between love and tenderness.

Well, Mr. Judge, we will do our best to give Lily both love and tenderness. 

I am struck by the contrast of how profound the event was that took place today, and yet how oblivious Lily is by it all.  She really hasn’t a clue.  Grace gets it; she shouted with joy, “The judge said YES!  Lily is my sister forever!”  But Lily?  Just gave me a long stare and went back to the Legos.

Grafted in.  My history is her history.  My name is her name.  Bound not just by love, but by law.  Her past, present, and future all re-written.  Inextricably linked.  Her identity determined without her permission, without even her knowledge.  And it all came about by the declaration of one man.  What a beautiful mystery.

Makes me wonder about the Divine Transactions that have taken place without my full understanding, while I am just interested in the Legos. 

Middles

We see but middles.

So wrote Andree Seu, one of my favorite-ever columnists. 

Things that seem good can end up bad. 

Things that seem bad can end up good. 

We see only the middle. 

Things appear opposite of their true condition for a while, she writes. 

There are people who think things are going badly for them, when actually things are going quite well, but they do not perceive it yet.

Think of the life of Joseph.

The favorite of his father:  That’s good!

Jealous brothers sell him as a slave:  That’s bad.

Top of the heap at Potiphar’s house:  That’s good!

Sent to prison for something he didn’t do:  That’s bad.

And so on.  So is the story good or bad? 

What was evil, God used for good. 

Romans 8:28.  It’s all good for those who love God.  But now, we see only middles.

I’ve been thinking about that a lot with Lily’s story.  The timing of when we brought her home, last summer, is still affecting us now.  We went through delay after delay after delay.  Unnecessary, ridiculous delays.  And I knew then that those delays would affect us now.  As they indeed are.

We want to go home this summer.  It’s been over two years since we’ve been home.  The only family members who have met Lily are my parents.  We want to go home! 

But the delay in bringing her home meant a delay in getting her adoption finalized.  No finalization means no passport.  No passport means no bringing her out of the country.

And now, I am seeing only middles. 

All those delays last summer:  That’s bad.

But in April we got assigned a great judge with a reputation for being pro-adoption, and getting court hearings done quickly:  That’s good! 

We got our first hearing the very next week:  That’s good!

Even though the social worker, Gil [who was in Kenya], and the paperwork were not at that hearing, the judge still started the adoption process:  That’s good! 

The next hearing was set for June 6th.  The judge, the social worker, the paperwork all showed up:  That’s amazing

At this point, I started thinking, Yes!  God’s going to do it!  He’s going to fix all those problems from the delays last summer and get us through a lightning fast court process! 

At the June 6th hearing, the judge heard our case, but put off the ruling for another week:  That’s…..disappointing, but not too bad.

So we went back June 13th–last Wednesday.  And he said that the ruling still has not been made, so come back this Tuesday:  That’s getting kind of bad.  We are running out of time. 

From a few months ago, we thought our chances would be slim to take Lily home this summer, so we made plans to take two separate trips:  Gil and Josiah would go for two weeks in July, and Grace and I would go for two weeks in August.  We bought plane tickets….hoping that we might have to change them.  And then when we got this great judge, and he brought us in so quickly, I really got my hopes up.  Yes!  It’s going to work out.

So I wonder:  What, exactly, is going on here, God?  Are you making this happen, or aren’t you? 

But I have learned:  He is making something happen.  It has purpose; it has meaning, and there is rhyme and reason to it.  I just can’t see it, and I might not ever see anything but the middle for a long time. 

And that’s okay.  Because even the good stuff won’t necessarily last, and I know the bad stuff won’t. So circumstances don’t really matter, do they?  What matters is God, and His promises, and that one day, when we see the End, it will definitely, utterly, be All Good.

Beloved

Summer Time Slipping and Sliding

The Third Turning Three

It’s true what they say about the third child….it’s really just not fair.

Grace got a birthday party with friends when she turned three, and a pinata her Daddy made her.  Josiah got a picnic and face painting and balloon animals. 

Which, of course, they have no memory of. 

So why make a big deal, right? 

Poor third child. 

But since this is Lily’s first birthday with her family, and well, she is pretty special, we still wanted it to be a special day.  Especially since she had been asking me for weeks if it was her birthday Today.

Since her birthday was a day off of school, we all got to go to Water World. 

And since we were making waffles for dinner, I thought, No one is really going to want to eat cake, right?  Can’t we just put the candles in the waffles?

So we did.  But then, whenever I was in the kitchen the next two days, she asked me if I was making her a birthday cake.

So the girl got a cake.  Just a couple days late. 

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