This was written for A Life Overseas.
It’s the week before you move overseas. What are you feeling?
Everything. You are feeling everything.
Excitement: This is finally happening!
Fear: What was I thinking? I can’t do this!
Guilt: Every time my mom looks at me, she starts crying. How can I do this to her?
Focused: If I put more books in my carry-on, I can squeeze in an extra five pounds of chocolate chips. Let’s do this.
Worried: What if I oversleep and am late to the airport? What if I lose my passport? What if my bags are too heavy at the airport and they make me rearrange everything? What if I throw up? I really might throw up.
Stressed: Fourteen friends stopped by today to say goodbye, but all I can think about is that I need to buy my daughter one more pair of sandals in the next size. Oh, and this suitcase is hovering at 52 pounds. Something’s got to come out, and it might send me over the edge.
Peaceful: I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I’m fulfilling my calling!
Sad: Every time I look at my mom, I start crying. How can I say goodbye for two years?
Grumpy: My children keep asking for lunch. Don’t they know I have to find room for these chocolate chips?
Exhausted: I woke up at 5 this morning with a racing heart. After I fell asleep at midnight with a racing heart.
Overwhelmed: That’s an understatement.
When that country was but a dream in your head, when you went through the application process, raised support, even applied for a visa – it all was hypothetical. But when it gets down to those final weeks and days, this is when it really gets real.
You sell your house and move in with your parents. You put your life’s memories out on the lawn, and you watch strangers carry away your furniture and your wedding presents. You hand over your house key, your work key, your car key, until all you have left is an empty, lonely key ring. You read the church bulletin and realize that you won’t be participating in that upcoming women’s retreat, that prayer meeting, that picnic. Life will go on without you, and suddenly, you feel as empty and lonely as your key ring.