Tag: Home Assignment Page 4 of 15

Just an ordinary evening.

I was reading an animal book to Josiah and Lily before bed.  We came to a page with a pretty scary Grizzly Bear on it, and Lily got a little freaked.  I quickly turned the page and declared we would skip that part.

Suddenly, Josiah leaped off the couch.  He started crying hysterically and shouting, “I want to read that page!  I want to read that page!”  It was as if I had cut his favorite toy into pieces and fed it to the birds.

I just stared at him, stunned, for a few moments.  What the..?  Granted, Josiah has been prone to fits, but this was…..ridiculous.

I sternly sent him to his bed until he could get a hold of himself.  He proceeded to sit there and cry and yell for at least 10 minutes.

I reasoned with him.  I cajoled him.  I hugged him.  I threatened to discipline him (which is usually what would happen), but I stopped short because some sort of Mommy-instinct told me that this was not really about the Grizzly Bear.

Finally, as I was helping my hysterical child get ready for bed, he finally blurted out, “I’m never going to see Eli again!  And he is my best friend in America!”

Oh.

There it was.

Grace and Josiah had been attending on-site classes once a week as part of our homeschool charter.  Eli had been the only other boy in Josiah’s class, so they were definitely buddies.   And the day of the Fit of the Century had been their last day.

My little guy was grieving.

Of course, then Grace started crying over losing her friends, and Lily always loves a good reason to cry.  I tried to hold myself together as we talked about what we will be leaving behind, but what we will be gaining in return.

About this time last year, I wrote this post where I asked if you would be my friend in America.  And the wonderful thing is, you have!  So many amazing people have invited us into their homes and lives and hearts, and we have felt so embraced and so loved.

But the hardest part about that is that it was only one year.  We formed all these connections, which is what we wanted to do, and now we’re leaving.  What am I supposed to do with that?

It’s just sad, and hard.  And good, all at the same time.  Try explaining that to your kids.

Josiah finally calmed down.  “Will you pray with me, Mommy?”  he asked.

We thanked God for all the wonderful friends He has given us this year.  We are so blessed.

Our tears are evidence of that.

All year, we’ve been Gil and Amy, the missionaries.  Everywhere we go, we talk about Tanzania.  Almost every conversation is about Tanzania.

Of course, it’s great and all and we love it.  But having that identity all year gets exhausting.  It’s like trying to live up to some sort of ideal.  

But on Thursday nights, we got to be Gil and Amy, the people.  

When we came back to California, we asked our church leadership how we could best serve.  They asked us to take over the college group for the time we were here.  The current leader was overstretched and needed a break.

Of course, we were thrilled.  The college group at Faith is how we met each other, and we had also served as its leaders when Gil was in seminary 10 years ago.  We love college students!  

So on Thursday nights, we get to just be Gil and Amy, and hang out with this crazy bunch of students.  We get to teach on worldview, which is quite possibly our favorite thing to teach on.  We get to talk about college life and apologetics and modern culture and all things Disney (since there is a bit of a Disney obsession among certain members….).

The only thing weird about this year is that we knew a lot of these students when they were in kindergarten.  In fact, we were their Sparks’ leaders.  

But we couldn’t possibly be that old.  

We love you guys.  So thankful we got to do this year with you and just be Gil and Amy.

Seriously, it’s like I’m thirteen years old again.  My emotions are all over the place.

One minute I’m like, I can’t wait to go back to Tanzania!  I’m excited about our new ministry and learning more Swahili and amazing pineapple and my friends and I LOVE MY LIFE!

And then, two minutes later, I am freaking out.  What are we thinking?  What if we are not prepared for this?  What if we let everybody down?  How can we possibly go live in AFRICA?  What if we blow it?  What if we get dengue fever?  What if we get robbed?  

Come on, Amy.  Get a grip.

When the sea is calm and all is right
When I feel Your favor flood my life
Even in the good, I’ll follow You
Even in the good, I’ll follow You

When the boat is tossed upon the waves
When I wonder if You’ll keep me safe
Even in the storms, I’ll follow You

Even in the storms, I’ll follow You  

Right now, I’m in that weird place between worlds.

HOPAC recently posted pictures of the Talent Show.  That was my baby for the last three years, and I yearned to be there.

During the same week, our home church started advertising their women’s retreat….in October.  I yearn to be there.

I see it in my children too.  One day, Grace will skip and jump and count the days until we go back.  The next day, she’ll cry about leaving her grandparents and friends in America.  Why are you taking me away from them?  

People ask us all the time, Do you like it there?  Are you excited to go back?  Tanzania’s home now, right?  

And I just sort of smile and laugh and say yes, because it’s way too complicated to try to describe what I feel.

I believe everything that You say You are
I believe that I have seen Your unchanging heart
In the good things and in the hardest part
I believe and I will follow You
I believe and I will follow You

The tickets are purchased.  We arrive back on Tanzanian soil exactly two months from today.

When I find myself so far from home
And You lead me somewhere I don’t wanna go
Even in my death, I’ll follow You
Even in my death, I’ll follow You

When I come to end this race I’ve run
And I receive the prize that Christ has won
I will be with You in Paradise
I will be with You in Paradise

Easter in San Jose with my family:

My dad’s wonderful garden, a perfect spring day, an Eggcellent Eggstravaganza Cooking Competition (which Grace and I both won), eggs full of pennies….

Bundling this all up to take back with me to Tanzania.  

Really the only reason he was excited about wearing a suit.  

Cousins….all in the family by adoption.

Lily said that day, “Josiah is very handsome but he is also very weird.”

Oh yes.  

Dar es Salaam is near the equator.  That means there’s only about a 20 degree difference between the hottest time of the year and the coolest part of the year.  There’s no need for Daylight Savings Time, because sunrise and sunset only varies by about a half an hour throughout the whole year.

There’s a rainy season and a dry season.  There’s a hot season and a hotter season.  That’s about it.

I miss seasons.  I long for them, sometimes.  Spring is my favorite, and thankfully spring comes early to southern California.

Yesterday Grace and I were out walking, and stopped under the most glorious purple tree.  Make a picture in your mind, I told her, So that you can remember how beautiful this is.  

Monday we visited Huntington Gardens, one of the most beautiful places on earth.  Hoping to soak in enough spring to last me the next few years.