Tag: Fear Page 1 of 7

What If AI Devastates the World?

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On September 14, 2026

In Fear

What if AI devastates the world?

I don’t know about you, but I find it rather disconcerting that all these AI engineers keep quitting their jobs because they don’t want to take responsibility for the devastation of the world as we know it.

Here I was, just worried about how AI will prevent a generation from critical thinking, or eliminate lots of jobs, or delude people into fake relationships, when I guess I should have been more concerned about total annihilation. 

Part of me scoffs, rolls my eyes, and remembers Y2K, which resulted in a whole lot of nothing (it was kind of a letdown, actually), but another part feels my heart beat faster and wonders, “what if?” 

I mean, we are so incredibly dependent on machines and invisible servers and clouds for almost every aspect of life that it doesn’t seem inconceivable that an enemy government or a rogue AI agent will figure out how to hack its way into the systems that run our society–electricity, communication, defense, food production, health care–and all hell, quite literally, could break loose. 

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It Could Have Been Me

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On January 11, 2025

In Eternity

My friend Lucy in Tanzania sent me this text this morning: Habari za leo, dada. Nyumbani kwako ni sawa? Ninaomba kwa wewe sana. Upo wapi?

Roughly translated: How are you, sister? Is your house okay? I am praying hard for you. Where are you located?

When a friend from the other side of the world, who gets her news from local Tanzanian radio, knows about the fires in Southern California, that’s when you know you know the events happening around you are a big deal. 

I woke up on Wednesday morning to the howling of sirens and the smell of smoke and looked out my second-story window to see a dark plume in the distance. 

“It looks close,” I told Gil. “But I know the mountains can play tricks on you.” The mountains surrounding us on three sides had been on fire in September (over 40,000 acres in the end). Those fires had seemed close too, but stayed miles away.

I jumped onto Facebook and saw my local community groups buzzing with chatter. I was right this time – the fire was close. The Moose Lodge, not half a mile from our house, was engulfed in flames. 

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Two Stones In My Pocket

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On May 6, 2022

In Fear, Parenting

It’s practically a miracle that I got married. 

As a young person, I was colder than Elsa to guys my age. I avoided talking to them at all costs, and when I was forced to, I used sarcasm. In high school, one guy told me that I made him cry and another rebuked me for being mean. These interactions have been embedded in my memory for 30 years because I remember how stunned I was to hear them. In my head, I was a nice person. I never set out to be a jerk. 

My harshness was not for lack of attraction; I had as many crushes as the boy-crazy flirt. I was simply terrified of people. I was not timid; I loved being on stage and performing when I had a script telling me exactly what to say at exactly the right moment. Real life gave me no such script.

I gained confidence in college, though even Gil remembers that my first interaction with him was intentionally distant. So it is pretty miraculous that I figured out how to be friendly enough for him to fall in love with me. 

I now recognize that my reticence was very much connected to insecurity. Around people my age, I was easily intimidated, and I felt young and insignificant. I was too proud to be nervous and groveling, so it was easier to be cold and sarcastic.  

G.K. Chesterton wrote, “It is always the secure who are humble.” My insecurity made me unkind, anxious, unfriendly. As I’ve aged, I see in myself the link between growing more secure and how well I love others.

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This American High

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On March 7, 2022

In Eternity, Fear, Living Like a Missionary in America

When I was a girl, my most prized possession was my sticker collection. Around age 10, Mom took me to a craft boutique, and I clearly remember the moment I laid my eyes on the most perfect sticker book ever: A photo album with a pink hand-sewn cover, hearts embroidered on top. 

My Gram snuck stickers into birthday cards. I peeled every sticker off A+ quizzes. “Trading stickers” was my favorite friend activity, and I relished carefully placing each sticker in that perfect album, gazing upon their colorful, sublime wonder over and over again.

I lay in bed, worrying about fires and thieves and tidal waves, and knew confidently what item I would save first: that sticker book.

A couple of weeks ago, my parents dug out my boxes of childhood treasures from the depths of their garage and brought them to my house. Lo and behold, there was my sticker book.

I look disdainfully at the object of my childhood adoration and see it for what it really is: a book of sticky paper, now browning around the edges. Thirty-five years offer a great deal of perspective.

Last week journalist Mindy Belz tweeted, “Pentecostal leader in Moldova writes of daughter and her family vacating their apartment and moving in with him so Ukrainian refugees can live in her place.”

Would I be willing to do that?

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Read These Books

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On January 21, 2022

In Book Recommendations

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot

This book is part biography, part historical, part scientific, and part memoir. It weaves together medical ethics, race in America, the science behind cell lines, and the remarkable story of Henrietta Lacks. It’s an award winner and I wasn’t sure I would like it because I’m not really a science person, but I was entranced. 

A Praying Life by Paul Miller

Deeply moving, and the most practical book on prayer I’ve come across. Months after reading it, still it has stuck with me. 

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