Tag: Book Recommendations Page 9 of 10

I wish I was better at writing book reviews.  I love reading.  Books have altered my thinking and helped me understand my salvation and made me a more compassionate person and filled me with passion and I think everyone should read them.  And this book has done all of the above, and I think everyone (literally, everyone who reads English) should read this book, yet words fail in knowing how to convince you. 

I could tell you that Saving Leonardo is about art history and worldview.  Uhhh…yeah.  Are you ready to run over to Amazon.com and buy it? 

So how do I explain that this book is a life-changer, and so much more than just about art history and worldview? 

Well, this is what the author herself says:  “Artists are society’s barometers, sensitive to new ideas as they percolate through the cultural atmosphere.” 

Artists reflect culture.  They reflect worldview.  If you want to understand culture, you must understand art. 

And why do we need to understand culture and worldview? 

“To use a biblical metaphor, all Christians are called to be missionaries, responsible for learning the language of the society they are addressing.  Within the boundaries of their native land, they may not face a literal language barrier.  But they do face a worldview barrier as they seek to communicate with people whose thinking differs from their own.  And they need training in how to overcome that worldview barrier.  They must learn how to frame the biblical message in ways that connect with people’s deepest convictions.”

Have you ever wondered why evolution is seen as the One and Only Truth, despite its many flaws?  The worldview behind the ever-changing definition of gender?  Why Christians are seen as dangerous?  Where postmodernism came from?  Why screeching is considered music and a grid of straight lines is considered art? 

If you feel like you know that abortion, homosexual marriage, transgenderism, and other forms of secular thought are wrong, but you are tired of feeling “intolerant” and “homophobic” and therefore just keep your mouth shut, then you must read this book.  If you are scared about the slide of our society into secularism, and as a result try to shield your children against anything remotely non-Christian, then you need to read this book. 

Yes, this book is intellectual.  In some ways, it is a textbook.  And that description alone will turn off a lot of people.  But I plead with you to believe me when I say that first of all, Nancy Pearcey is far more interesting than any textbook you’ve read before, and what she has to say is far more important.  Vital, actually, if you want to understand modern culture and why certain movies are being made and what is motivating your next-door neighbor. 

Nancy Pearcey’s first book,Total Truth, revolutionized my life a number of years ago because it introduced me to the concept of worldview.  I still highly recommend that one as well, but you can start with either one.  Both are fantastic.  Both are on my Top-10-of-All-Time list. 

I read Pearcey’s books and I am very proud to be a Christian.  I read her books and I am convinced more than ever that what I believe is true.  Really, truly true, for all of mankind, literally and historically….not just “true to me,” not just “my own personal spirituality” but true in the sense that Jesus Christ was a real person who was God-in-the-flesh, who lived and died and rose again (literally and historically) and that He changed the course of history, and my life.  Some fairy tales really are true.  That’s why we like them. 

The true story of a Saudi Arabian princess growing up in the 50’s.  Truly fascinating look into the lives of privileged middle eastern women.  An eye-opening, disturbing, page-turner. 

“The only knowledge most Arabs have of American society comes from the content of low-grade American movies and trashy television shows…the vast majority of Arabs truly believe that most Western women are promiscuous.”  (So what happens when they associate America with Christianity as well?)

Inspiring, encouraging, humble.  I loved this one and highly recommend it for young moms.  Sally Clarkson presents her advice with humility and gentleness, and I felt convicted and inspired–but not guilty and overwhelmed as some parenting books make me feel. 

“If I have integrity and patience in the small moments of life that are so important to my children, and if I approach them with a servant’s heart, then I have a far better chance of influencing them in the larger and more critical issues of life.”

“My biggest concern is not for [my children] to be happy, but for them to understand how–and why–to be content and to accept their circumstances as from God’s hand.”

I really debated over whether to recommend this one.  I am not ashamed to say I am a complementarian (if you don’t know what that is, don’t worry about it), but yet I still cannot wholeheartedly endorse this book.  I disagree with some of Debi Pearl’s Scriptural interpretations.  Some of what she says is downright ridiculous.  This is not the book to try to persuade someone to consider complementarianism–it is way too harsh and dogmatic.  And I would never give it to someone from a non-western culture. 

That said, it still impacted me almost more than any other marriage book I have read.  For an American wife who already takes a traditional interpretation of marriage roles, this book will give you a swift kick in the backside.  Debi Pearl does not mince words.  She is not gentle.  It’s hard to read, and I would have thrown the book across the room a few times except that I read it on my Kindle! But she says it like it is, and sometimes that’s what we need to hear.  I had to grudgingly admit that on more than one occasion, she was spot on. 

“No man has ever crawled out from under his wife’s criticism to be a better man–no matter how justified her condemnation.”

“God stands with you when you stand by your man, but you will stand alone if you insist on standing by your rights.”

Read it.  Even if you are not a Steven Curtis Chapman fan, you need to read it.  I cried through the entire second half, as I knew I would, but it’s beautiful and inspiring and a remarkable testimony to God’s Sovereignty and faithfulness in the midst of unspeakable tragedy. 

“It’s all true!  It’s all true!  The gospel is true.  If we believe anything about our faith, we have to believe that we know where Maria is right now and that God didn’t make a mistake.  He didn’t turn His head, He was in complete control.  Maria’s days here were numbered.  We don’t like it, but He will give us the strength and the hope to walk this journey.”  (Spoken by Mary Beth at her five-year-old daughter’s memorial service)

I am an expert on fear.

Worrying is a particular specialty of mine. I could give you some great tips. Like, it’s important to feel in control of every possible horrible situation that could ever happen to you by using your imagination to go through each and every detail of each possible scenario.

I remember once trying to convince Gil that we needed a full-time gardener so that someone could open the gate for us instead of doing it ourselves. “But what if,” I argued, “I was trying to open the gate myself, and in doing so I left the kids in the car, and a car jacker came up and demanded the keys from me, and he drove off with the kids in the car?” I could totally picture myself running down the road and screaming. If I thought about it hard enough, I could even start crying.

Gil just looked at me in disbelief. “Have you ever heard of that happening here?” he asked.

Well, no. But that doesn’t mean it couldn’t happen.

And just when I think I have worried about every-possible-bad-thing-that-could-ever-happen, then God surprises me by allowing my washing machine to catch fire in the middle of the night. Never had thought through that one.

But anyway.

I have been more than just a worrier. When I say I am an expert on fear, that’s not just because of my over-active imagination. It’s because I struggled for a number of years with what some would call Panic Disorder.

It started 10 days after arriving in Dar es Salaam for the first time in 2001. I had a massive panic attack, which led to a nervous breakdown for the following few weeks. “Barely coping” would be an understatement. “Breathing for the next minute” would be more descriptive. Darkness, fear, the world falling apart around me…that’s what it felt like. I thought I was going insane; I had crazy obsessive fears; I couldn’t use a knife in the kitchen because I was paranoid I was going to stab someone with it.

There were no professional counselors in Dar at the time. I didn’t know what was happening to me so I had a hard time even articulating it to my husband. Only the grace of God kept me in Tanzania. I honestly didn’t think there was much hope for me, so I didn’t think that going back to the States would make things any better. So I stayed.

The darkness lasted at least six months. We later traced its beginning to the malaria medicine I was taking at the time, but even after the drug was out of my system, my brain had a new way of thinking. The second year in Tanzania was better, but within two months of returning to the States, it all returned with a vengeance.

This time I fought. I fought hard. I read everything I could. I got some help. I trained Gil in what to say to me when I was struggling (Bless my patient husband for enduring this with me!). The turning point came when I took a class at my church in the Foundations of Biblical Counseling. I took the class because I wanted to help other people, but first I needed to apply the principles to my own life.

And it all clicked. Not all at once, of course. But I started to get it. The roots of my fear. God’s view of suffering. The importance of perseverance. Who I was and who God was. Acceptance of suffering; confession of sin; trusting Him above everything else; submission to His will. And I was set free.

That was 2004. Six years ago, and it has yet to come back. I have no guarantee that it won’t; but I don’t fear it anymore if it does. And that is probably my best weapon to fight it.

The whole point of why I am writing this post is to give you a book recommendation. But I had to give you all that background so that you would understand why I so highly recommend this book. I have read a multitude of books on the subjects of fear and worry, from all sides of the counseling spectrum. But this one takes the cake. This one gets the prize. He gets it. He says all the things I had to figure out on my own. If you are just an everyday worrier or an expert in fear like me, then you want this book.

Some nuggets:

“Any time you love or want something deeply, you will notice fear and anxieties because you might not get them. Any time you can’t control the fate of those things you want or love, you will notice fears and anxieties because you might lose them…..Control and certainly are myths.”

“Worriers are visionaries minus the optimism.”

“One message is obvious: If I imagine the worst, I will be more prepared for it. Worry is looking for control. It is still irrational because worry will not prepare us for anything, but at least it has its reasons.”

“If you are jaded because you feel as though God has been unreliable, look at it this way: there are no other choices….The greatest possibility for rest and comfort lies in the knowledge of the true God.”

“If I can trust the word of a friend, why do I question the word of the God of the universe? Go figure. Sin is truly bizarre.”

“Anxiety asks for more information so it can be prepared for the coming apocalypse. It also asks for more information so it can manage the world apart from God.”

“Can we say that we die to our children? Yes, in a sense, but it isn’t exactly our children. We die to our notions that God doesn’t care about them. We die to the fear that no one is in control. We die to our belief that God is not always good. We die to the grasping that says, ‘My children are mine and mine alone.’”

I could go on. But I’ll just let you read the book instead.  And I pray you find the rest and freedom that have been granted to me.

I really liked this one.

John Rosemond is a family psychologist who later became a Christian, which subsequently revitalized his view of parenting.  So he’s got both perspectives.  His history of parenting philosophies was fascinating.  And basically the whole book is about throwing out the notion that a high self-esteem is the ultimate goal of parenting and re-adopting the idea that character is far more important. 

He writes, “I cannot emphasize enough that according to both the Bible and good research, possessing high self-esteem and being a person of character are incompatible.”

He also goes back to that biblical notion that children are naturally evil and selfish and essentially have to be forced to be otherwise.  Therefore, the idea that simply “reasoning” with a child to make them behave, or even using rewards and consequences just won’t work.  He says that good parenting is a matter of being a good leader, and that means being loving but also being very firm. 

Great Quote of the Day:  “No matter how good a parent you are, your child is still capable on any given day of doing something despicable, disgusting, or depraved.”

I liked it because I agree with pretty much everything he wrote.  So I didn’t necessarily learn much that was new, but it did give me more confidence as a mom that what I am doing is okay.  That it is okay to be really firm with my kids.  That it is okay to not come running every time they cry.  That it is okay to expect a lot out of them–that Josiah can put his clothes away and that Grace can make her bed and set the table and peel carrots and grate cheese.   

For example, when Josiah whines for milk, and after making him ask “the polite way” (which seems to be our routine 50 times a day), I don’t need to immediately drop what I am doing and get him the milk.  When we are in the car and Grace asks to listen to kids’ music, I don’t need to do it every single time.  Sometimes (gasp) we can listen to grown-up music.  I don’t need to entertain my children all day long.  My life does not need to revolve around them.  And yet, spending time as a family is far more important than making sure they are “well-rounded” and involved in all sorts of outside activities. 

I did these things, but I still struggled with guilt all the time.  I have wanted them to learn independence, patience, responsibility, and self-control, but I always wondered, “Am I just being selfish?  Is it really okay to make him wait for his milk?”  So now I don’t feel guilty about that anymore. 

Rosemond says, “My mother, typical of her generation, had no problem shooing me out from underfoot, even telling me I had no permission to be in the same room with her if she was doing something that required her undivided attention.  At those times, she would usually warn me that if I didn’t find something to do and leave her alone, she would find something for me to do.  In that regard, my mom was typical of her generation.  Today’s mom is horrified at the mere thought of telling her child that something she is doing is more important than something he wants her to do.”

Of course, I do still struggle as a Mom.  The truth is, I am selfish sometimes.  Um, a lot of the time.  And grumpy and impatient.  I have to work on my own sinful nature even more than my own kids’.  So figuring out that balance is a daily quest. 

I would recommend this book to anyone.  He uses biblical wisdom but it would be applicable to parents from any background. 

The Mommy Quest continues!  This is just one more great resource along the way.