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God Would Never Ask Me to Sacrifice My Kids….Right?

Documented incidents include Christians being hung on a cross over a fire, crushed under a steamroller, herded off bridges and trampled under-foot.



I know so little of sacrifice.  



A new report was recently published about the life of Christians in North Korea, and all of the incredibly creative ways that regime has invented to humiliate, torture, imprison, rape, and murder anyone who dares pick up a Bible.  



But the scariest part of that report?



A policy of guilt by association applies, meaning that the relatives of Christians are also detained regardless of whether they share the Christian belief.



Did you get that?



The cost of following Jesus in North Korea is not just your job, not just your well-being, not just your freedom….but your whole family.  Your mom, your brother, your children can be put in a prison camp, raped, or run over by a steamroller because you chose Jesus.  



It’s incomprehensible.  Unfathomable.



I know so little of sacrifice.  



Sure, I can tell myself that I have chosen to live in a country with medical care that is vastly inferior than we would have in America.  Sometimes it is scaryto raise kids here.  But I also am still American, with my full-coverage medical insurance that allows my children to be medically evacuated if it ever comes to that.  Sure, I worry, but I know the risk is low.  



Besides….God would never ask me to sacrifice my kids….right?



Yet I worship the same God who has asked exactly that of the North Korean Christians. I stand under the same sky, breathe the same air, and have the same kind of soul as they do.   Who am I to think that he wouldn’t ask the same of me?  



In America right now, the sentiment seems to be exactly the opposite.  We sacrifice for our kids, but we wouldn’t think of sacrificing them.  We start college accounts when they are babies.  We go to every soccer game; we work two jobs to send them to private school; our lives revolve around their extracurricular activities.  I get this.  I feel this, even from here.  I want the best for my kids too.



But what if our kids’ activities become so important that we have no time for ministry?  No time to get to know our neighbors?  No time even for church?  What if God called my children to be missionaries…in Congo…in Iraq…in North Korea?  What if I was convicted that the college money would be better spent showing a dying neighbor that Jesus loves him?  Would I resist….or obey?

I realize it’s a hard balance.  I’m not saying we go back to the old days when fathers would leave their families for years at a time in the name of ministry.  I know of missionaries who waited to work in highly dangerous countries until their children were grown.  I have supported many missionary friends who left Tanzania due to the needs of their children.  It goes without saying that Christians are to put a high priority on ensuring their children are safe, educated, and loved.  

Yet when do we hit the point where we love our children more than Jesus?  Where we tell him, You can have anything, Lord, just not my kids?



I really don’t know where that line is.  It might not be the same for each person and it might not be the same in each situation.  But judging from the example of my North Korean brothers and sisters, I must come to the conclusion that God does sometimes ask us to sacrifice our children for the sake of the gospel.

After all, the greatest treasure in the universe came from the sacrifice of a Son.

What I Wish I Could Hear From a Politician

I keep waiting for a political candidate who talks about sacrifice.  You know, like, In order to get our country out of debt, or fight terrorism, or get rid of racism, or care for refugees, we are all going to need self-sacrifice.  It’s going to be hard, but we can do it together.  

But I never hear it.

Instead, all I hear about is what we’re going to get.  How our lives will be better–even great–if I vote for that person.  Apparently no one wants to vote for someone who says that our lives might get harder before they can get better.

Why am I surprised?  The notion of self-sacrifice seems to have disappeared from the list of American virtues.  The average credit card debt in America is $15,000.  Divorce is easy and abortion is easier.  My body; my choice.  Personal satisfaction reigns king.  Follow your heart.  You deserve it.  You are worth it.  Have it your way.  Finding yourself seems to be the chief goal of growing up.

Of course, each person is different and redemption can be found even in the worst choices.  I am painting our culture with broad strokes and I am not casting condemnation on your individual story.  But the truth is that we as a country have lost the notion of self-sacrifice.

We have taken what should be seen as privileges and turned them into rights.  I have the right for my children to succeed.  I have the right to be safe.  I have the right to be heard.  I have the right for you to treat me the way I want to be treated.  I have the right to be happy.  

We’ve had those privileges for so long that we consider them owed to us.  So when we realize we might lose them, we are horrified.  Suddenly all of our choices become about self-protection.  How we spend.  How we save.  How we plan for the future.  How we vote.

But what Christians have forgotten is that we were never supposed to be about self-protection.  We are always supposed to be about self-sacrifice.

Fear is never supposed to define us.  But unfortunately our culture has told us for such a long time that this life is about us, that we panic at the notion of losing it.  Have we forgotten that this is the antithesis of who Christians should be?

Deny yourself.



To live is Christ; to die is gain.



Do not look only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.  



Love your neighbor as yourself.  

There’s nothing in Scripture that tells us that we need to do everything we can to protect our assets.  Or even our freedom.

America was founded on Christian principles, which was great for liberty but is now confusing for Christians.   If our government is “we the people,” then we are the government.  Which means that we are directly responsible for looking after our collective safety and freedom.  The problem comes when my focus comes off of society as a whole–others focused–and instead becomes about me.  

Of course, as a people–even as Christians–we are going to disagree about what is best for our society.  But that is not the point.  The point is that we are failing our country–and our God–when we are dominated by self-interest.  Our country will never thrive that way.  And our faith will disintegrate.

Which is why I am disheartened when I see Americans shunning refugees in the name of self-protection.  Celebrating abortion in the name of self-fulfillment.  Tolerating racism because of self-absorption, or fighting it with self-destruction.  Glorifying politicians who promise self-indulgence.

I have despaired over the state of my country.  And I must admit I don’t have a lot of hope for its future.  You can call me a pessimist, and I would love to be proven wrong.  Maybe if enough Americans start once again valuing self-sacrifice will we have a chance to change.

But I can guarantee one thing.  We as Christians will fail–as citizens of America and of heaven–if we do not step away from our fear long enough to deny ourselves, pick up our cross, and follow Jesus.  Yes, what we have had in America is great, but we need to hold to it loosely.  Yes, politics is important and we should seek the good of all people.  But at the end of the day, our loyalty is to Jesus–who specialized in self-sacrifice.  So if that costs us all things, then so be it.   


The Great Lie America Sent to Tanzania

I’m guessing that if I were to ask most of my readers if they are regular consumers of the preaching of Benny Hinn or Creflo Dollar, they would recoil in horror.  We change the station if they happen to appear on our televisions (or maybe watch out of morbid curiosity), but mostly, we do our best to try to distance ourselves from that kind of Christianity.  All that emphasis on wealth and health–they are not us.  

We just not might realize that the Prosperity Gospel is so tightly connected to the American Dream that many of us have no idea that we’ve accepted parts of it.  Those of us who wouldn’t have anything to do with Kenneth Copeland might still be willing to read The Prayer of Jabez or make Jeremiah 29:11 our “life verse.”  Even the very popular Hillsong has some veins in the Prosperity movement, as evidenced by its founder’s early book entitled, You Need More Money.  Time magazine poll found that two-thirds of American Christians agreed that God wants people to prosper.

We shouldn’t be surprised then that Joel Osteen leads the largest church in America.  Or that the majority of mega-churches in America preach Prosperity.  Or that Prosperity preachers dominate the “Christian” airwaves, which means that this is the version of Christianity, more than any other, that gets spread to the rest of the world.

Including Tanzania.

As someone who is in Tanzania with the express purpose of training up church leaders to know, understand, and teach Scripture, it is difficult for me to express the depth of my distress in the Prosperity Gospel.  It is embedded everywhere.  And it came here from America.

Seen on thousands of cars in Tanzania

Of all the ugly things that America has exported, the Prosperity Gospel’s perversion of Christianity is one of the worst.  It was born and nurtured in America during a time of economic prosperity, so it was easy for millions of American Christians to swallow it down along with the American Dream.  And now….it’s here?  In a country that is one of the poorest in the world, with a life expectancy of 60?  Yet this “gospel” continues to tell people that if they just have enough faith, God will take away their poverty.  And if that doesn’t happen, well, then obviously they deserve it.  It’s nothing but a cruel joke from a God who obviously loves rich people more than them.

once wrote that we joined Reach Tanzania because of Benny Hinn.  From our very first term in Tanzania in 2001, we realized that American televangelists are the primary source of influence on Tanzanian Christians, including many pastors.  Recently, I read the book Blessed: A History of the American Prosperity Gospel by Kate Bowler.   

It helped me understand American Christianity a whole lot better.  It helped me understand Tanzanian Christianity a whole lot better.  And it turned my stomach to realize that so many of the struggles in the Tanzanian church came directly from America.  


On the back of a Tanzanian city bus:  “Jesus is the winner”

Seen in a Tanzanian supermarket:  entire rack of books by Robert Schuller and Napoleon Hills

It’s time, Americans.

It’s time for this lie to end.  It’s time for all of us to remember that God does not owe us the American dream. It’s time for us to apply all of Scripture, including the parts that guarantee persecution and trouble on this side of heaven.  Including the parts where God does not always give us what we ask for.  Including the parts where He is a God who allows (even creates!) prosperity and disaster (Is. 45:7), where both can be a part of His will, and where He intentionally, in wisdom and grace, uses suffering in the lives of His people.  That God can heal, but sometimes He chooses not to.  That God wants us to be holy more than He wants us to be healthy.  That God wants us to love Him more than we love His gifts.  That knowing Him, and being known by Him, is the greatest treasure in the universe.  

For the American church, I am praying that this decent into chaos will knock some sense into its delusions of what God owes them.  For Tanzania, I am praying for an African Martin Luther.  A man (or many of them) of godly strength and humility who has the courage and the position to lead his people away from the lies that America sent them.  May God help us all.

You Can Lock Up a Few Evil People, but You Can’t Lock Up Everyone

photo by Gil Medina

Sometimes I click on a link out of morbid curiosity.  9 Much-Needed Reminders That Humans are Inherently Good.  Seriously?  I thought.  I’ve got to read this.

The article assures us that even though terrible things are happening in the world, we can take heart because humans are wired for empathy, kindness, unselfishness, romance, and hugs.  And dogs like us, so we must be pretty amazing.

Well, that’s reassuring.

I sigh and think, Only in America.  I guarantee that if you ask anyone in Rwanda, Cambodia, Syria, Iraq, Iran, Venezuela, North Korea, or South Sudan if humans are inherently good, they’ll laugh in your face.  Except maybe not because they are too busy crying, running for their lives, or languishing in prison.

I know it feels good to believe in the goodness of humanity.  And of course, humans are capable of incredible acts of self-sacrifice, courage, and kindness, and it is exemplary to aspire to those ideals.  We were made in the image of God, and vestiges of Eden–of who we were meant to be–are still evident in our friendships, our parenting, our service.

But the belief that mankind is inherently good?  Really?  How many acts of terrorism, genocide, child slavery, albino murders, or rape does our world need to experience before we abandon that belief?

The problem is that we keep thinking that everything would be okay if we could just stop the bad people.  We conveniently forget that we are bad people too.  



Germans stood by passively while the ashes of six million Jews floated over their heads.  Rwandans picked up machetes and hacked to death the neighbors they had lived by for generations.  Freed American slaves used their freedom to colonize Liberia and oppress the indigenous people.

That’s them, we think.  Not me.  I would never do that.  Sure, it’s easy to believe I am a decent person when my stomach is full, the electricity is working, and my children are healthy.  But all I have to do is look at myself when I’ve lost a night of sleep or have a bad headache, and that beast inside me rises from its slumber and turns me into a person I don’t want to be.  I wonder sometimes, what would that beast look like if I lived under the shadow of violence, if I couldn’t feed my children, if terror had scraped away my desire for self-sacrifice?  Or what if a powerful but evil leader promised to make all my problems go away?  What would I be capable of?

I do believe that it is healing and inspiring to look for the good and the beautiful in people and in this world.  It’s there.  But believing that somehow the goodness of humanity will one day rise up and save us all?  Just not going to happen.  You can lock up a few evil people, but you can’t lock up everyone.  

We are presented with three options:  suicide, hope in humanity, or hope in God.  Everyone has that choice, and everyone chooses.  There are no other options.

photo by Gil Medina

Anarchy is Loosed Upon the World

Turning and turning in the widening gyre

The falcon cannot hear the falconer;

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere

The ceremony of innocence is drowned;

The best lack all conviction, while the worst 

Are full of passionate intensity.

William Butler Yeats, 1919

We watch the news with horror.  We can’t keep up with the tragedy.  It’s too much, too much.  Too much pain; too much devastation.

The ceremony of innocence is drowned.

We can’t change our profile pictures fast enough before the next tragedy occurs.  Nazarite?  Paris?  Orlando?  Baghdad?  Istanbul?  Gorilla?  Black lives matter?  or is it Blue lives?  There are two many things to care about; too many things that tear at our hearts and give us whiplash from trying so hard to keep up.  Sometimes it’s easier to just pull the covers over our heads.

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed.

And all of those things don’t even scratch the surface of the problems within the four walls of our own personal universe–a child’s bad choices, money that won’t stretch, conflicts between two that share the same space, that strange lump, that broken washing machine–or those problems within the confines of our own minds–that secret sin, that devastating fear, that sense of failure that hangs on like a bad cough.

It’s hard enough facing the problems in our own small spaces; it seems too much to face the problems out there.  Especially when the problems out there start creeping into our own space like termites that eat through the walls.

Yet, there is nothing new under the sun.  Yeats’ poem was written after World War I–before Hitler murdered six million, before the atomic bombs, before Stalin starved seven million, before Pol Pot slaughtered two million, before Rwandans axed one million of their neighbors, before, before, before.

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.  And yet after, it only got worse.

There is nothing new under the sun.  But for two centuries, some Americans–some–were given the gift of a life that was different than the trajectory of history.  A life that really was peaceful and prosperous and free.  The Great American experiment worked for a lot of people, for a long time.  But for those of us who grew up in that American Dream, who rode our bikes with abandon down our streets, where violence, racism, and poverty were “out there” for other people–not for us–that Dream seemed as permanent as the sturdy oak trees in our front yards.  There was no reason to question whether it would last.

What we didn’t realize, growing up in that Dream World, is how unique our experience was–in the world, in history, even in much of America.  Our history classes focused on “western civilization”…which seemed to find its pinnacle in the life we were living right now.  We had reached the top, and there was no reason to believe that we would fall from it.

Or so we thought.

Really though, has the world actually gotten worse?  Or just our world?  

I don’t think the world is getting worse.  I just think my American Dream generation is coming to grips with the reality of life.  That blip on the screen that was the American Dream was really just an illusion, for a time covering up the deeper, sinister parts of human nature….in our society, and in ourselves.

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold.

And here we are now.  Facing terribly disturbing leadership in our own country, facing deep fissures in our unity that will no longer allow to be plastered over, facing the loss of our religious freedom, facing dire financial collapse, facing outside threats to our safety like circling hyenas.

Facing what the rest of the world has always faced.  We can watch a lot of sitcoms; we can go on happy vacations; we can eat lots of good food; we can enjoy the best of America, but we can no longer tell ourselves that everything will be okay.

How do we then live?

We swallow the red pill and see the Matrix for what it really is.  We go backstage at Disneyland and see where they dump the trash.  Many, of course, have lived there all along.  We acknowledge how living only in our Dream World has hurt them; how we have failed to listen to their pleas.  We repent of our trust in that world to bring us happiness.  

There is still a way to find joy, of course.  We need not live our lives under a storm cloud.  Babies are born and marriages are celebrated even in times of war.  Sunsets fill our souls and the stars give us strength.  Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion is the best line in “Steel Magnolias.”  Brokenhearted joy is what John Piper calls it.  We bravely face the wretchedness in ourselves and in our society–even while we watch it crumble–but we remember that we hold the true source of Hope.  

The Christian life was meant to be lived in the widening gyre.  It’s what we were created for.  It’s what we are called to do.  It’s what Jesus meant when he said to pick up our cross and follow him, why he told us that his peace is not the same as what the world gives, why he said that the most important thing is to abide in him.  It’s why he told us that we would have trouble in this world, but to take heart because he has overcome it.

Things fall apart, but we do hear the falconer.  As we are faced with this new reality, which really is just peeling back the veil and seeing reality as it has always been, let us remember that we do hear the falconer.

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