Tag: Adoption

Happiness is….

On July 6, 2008

…getting your adoption approval letter in the mail!!!

Yep, we got it. Finally. Actually, from the way things have been going, I am pretty shocked. It seems like the social worker kind of skipped over a couple steps that I was expecting to take longer. But I’m not complaining.

We have been approved to adopt a baby from the Mburahati Orphanage in Dar. According to our lawyer, there are at least 4 available baby boys at this orphanage. On Tuesday we will go there with her to check things out. Please pray that God makes it very clear which baby should be ours, because it could come down to us “choosing”…how do we do that? I have no idea.

Once a baby has been chosen, it could take as little as two weeks for us to bring him home. 🙂

Hooray!

Shadows that lurk behind my children

By Amy Medina

On March 13, 2008

In Other

I’ve been thinking a lot about my baby boy lately. He is still nameless and faceless to me, but we are far enough along in the process to guess that he has most likely been born by now, and is in an orphanage somewhere. I wonder what he looks like, what his personality will be like, how he will grow up to be. Probably similar to what most pregnant moms think about.

The main difference is that I can’t help but also think about his birthmother. She chose life for her son. But is she struggling right now? Is she dying of AIDS? Was she raped and deserted? Is she so poor she can hardly feed herself? Does she think about her son and wonder what will happen to him?

I often think about Grace’s birthmother too. We know absolutely nothing about her. We never will. There aren’t some “sealed documents” somewhere that Grace can open when she’s 18. I love my daughter so much that it hurts. I can’t imagine loving a child more. It’s not until I am out in public and getting strange stares from people that I remember that not everyone can tell she is my daughter. But I often think about how my joy is another woman’s sadness. I see Grace laugh and play and run and sing and dance and I’m sad for what her birthmother is missing. What an amazing gift I have been given. How precious is God’s Grace.

What would her life be like if she was still in the village? 1 in 9 Tanzanian children die before their 5th birthday. One in nine! Over 10% of Tanzanians are dying of AIDS. Over 50% live in poverty or below poverty. It’s hard for me to even fathom my daughter growing up that way. It’s one thing to think about nameless, faceless children growing up in poverty. It’s another thing when one of them is my daughter. And even harder to think that the woman who conceived her and gave her birth is still living that way—if she is still living. She will never know how amazing her daughter is.

Will Grace ever realize what God has saved her from? Probably not until she is much, much older. She is still selfish and foolish and demanding–like any other child. Do I ever realize what I have been saved from?

“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!”

The Homestudy

By Amy Medina

On January 17, 2008

In Other

I’ve been jumping through hoops, going through the process for our second adoption. Today the social worker came to our house for a homestudy. I’d be interested in hearing from those of you who have had homestudies in the States. Because from what I know of those, they are a wee bit different than what we experienced today….

Our district social worker, Mama Mbaruku (“Mama” is used much like “Mrs.” here) had told me a couple days ago that she thought today would be a good day for the homestudy. So I called her up this morning and she said I should come get her about 3:30. Yes, come get her. Even the district social worker doesn’t have a car. So Grace and I drove the 45 minutes to go get her. Then we waited for an hour (which is interesting in small office with a toddler). When we got to our car, she said, “Oh, Grace can sit with me!” I politely told her that we had a special car seat for Grace to sit in. Then we drove back in traffic so it took over an hour to get home.

After all that, she stayed at our house for about 15 minutes. I’m not exactly sure what she was writing down, but I showed her every room in the house. Her biggest concern was that Grace was sleeping in her own bed in her own room. “She’s only two years old! She needs to be sleeping with you in your bed.” I told her that it was our American custom to have babies sleep in their own beds. “From what age?” she asked. “Usually, from birth!” I told her. I assured her that Grace was perfectly fine, and showed her how the baby monitor worked, but I’m not sure she was convinced.

And that was it.

As strange as this description might sound to those of you who have had American homestudies, it actually went really well. The last time we had a homestudy (in between Grace’s foster care and adoption), when I showed up at the appointed time to pick up a (different) social worker, she told me she was tired and didn’t want to come. In contrast, I’ve been more than impressed with Mama Mbaruku’s professionalism and earnest desire to help us–and I thank God for her! Our paperwork should get done much faster this time because of her. We just have to take into account the totally different worldview.

Oh Happy Day!

By Amy Medina

On September 17, 2007

In Other

September 12, 2007…the day the judge formally announced that he was issuing Grace’s adoption order! It’s been 10 months since Grace joined our family, and though I was never too worried that something would go wrong, it is such a relief to know that now everything is legal! (Though she still won’t be an American citizen for another year.)

Everything on Wednesday went so well. This was our third court hearing–at the first two, at least one of the essential people did not show up. We didn’t have high expectations for this hearing either, because of social worker problems. But everyone showed up on time (lawyers, social worker), and we only had to wait 45 minutes to see the judge. (Everyone shows up at 9, and you never know when your case will be called. With a toddler, this gets interesting! The hallway where we waited is full of lawyers and criminals in chains!)

Below are pictures from the exciting day. They are not very clear–since we didn’t expect much too happen that day, we hadn’t brought our camera–so these are from Gil’s cell phone!

Our social worker Harriet, and our two lawyers

In front of the court house–now officially a Medina!