Tag: Adoption Page 22 of 23

Okay, okay, I know I said I wasn’t going to give any more updates.

But, ummmm….I changed my mind.

Because today was pretty amazing.

I decided that this morning I would visit both the district social worker and the regional social worker. I really didn’t expect to get anywhere. Pretty much, this was one of those, “I’m-still- here-and-you’re-not-getting-rid-of-me visits.”

First I went to the district social worker’s office. I didn’t know if I would even see anyone I know. The social worker who did our home study (she was awesome) has been transferred. And our lawyer had warned us that her assistant (the one who wrote the letter that was rejected) is at a conference. She was right. Both ladies were gone.

But there was another lady there, named Nelly. I’d only met her once and I don’t even know what her official position is. But I explained the situation, for lack of anyone else to talk to.

She said, “Oh, I can rewrite that letter. Do you have a few minutes? Do you want to wait? I could do it right now.”

Do I want to wait? Do I want to wait?

Back up a minute. In all my dealings and visits with social workers, for both Grace and Josiah’s adoptions, I have never, ever (did I mention never?) had a social worker be willing to write a letter on the spot. It’s always, “Come back tomorrow,” or “Come back on Monday,” or “Call me tomorrow and I’ll let you know.” It usually takes, on average, five visits to a social worker to acquire whichever letter we are currently working on.

So, duh, yeah, OF COURSE I WANT TO WAIT!!! I wanted to sing and dance and give her a million dollars.

So she found the first letter. Copied it. Rewrote it by hand with the correction.

Then she folded it up, addressed it, and said, “Do you have a car?”

Yep.

“Okay…my assistant here will go with you right now to deliver it to the regional office. Just please give her bus money so she can come back.”

Bus money? Don’t you want a million dollars?

So we delivered it. And the regional social worker read it. And said it was fine. And she said we should call back tomorrow. Because now, once again, we wait for the final-final-final letter. Maybe. You never know.

But it still was amazing.

The last few days have been good for me. Meditating on God’s sovereignty. Trusting His good timing. And the truth is, I still don’t know when my boy will come home. But today was a wonderful reminder that God can do whatever He pleases, whenever He pleases. He can harden hearts and soften them according to His good pleasure. This really, truly is all in His control.

“The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord; he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases.” (Prov. 21:1)

We really thought today would be the day.

I called the social worker this morning and she said, “Yes, your letter is ready…come and pick it up this afternoon.”

Hooray! We got out the infant seat, got Josiah’s coming-home-clothes ready, and put the camera in the car. Grace ran in circles yelling, “Messiah’s coming! Messiah’s coming!” (She hasn’t quite got the “Jo” yet).

At 1:00 we went to social welfare. I left Gil and Grace in the car, and ran up to the office, expecting to pick up the final letter so that then we could drive over to the orphanage and get our little boy.

Not exactly.

I found the regional social worker. She told me, “Oh, the letter to pick up the baby isn’t ready….we had to send another letter back to the district social worker because she failed to write in her letter where the baby is currently living. And we need that information for the final letter.”

I said, “But…you gave us permission to choose a baby from only the Mburahati orphanage. Wouldn’t it be assumed that’s where the baby is living?”

She said, “Oh no, we must have the information officially.”

I have no idea why two days ago, she told me the final letter was just awaiting a signature. I have no idea why she told me this morning that the letter was ready. And why in heaven’s name she couldn’t just pick up a phone and ask the district social worker for confirmation on the baby’s orphanage, I don’t know.

What does this mean? We’re back to where we were a month ago. Her letter must reach the district office (which is only 2 miles away, but it takes forever for letters to arrive). Then the district office must re-write the letter they sent two weeks ago, this time mentioning the baby’s orphanage. But the district social worker is now a different person than she was two weeks ago, so who knows if this new person will even know what to do. And then that letter gets sent to the regional office, where we then (once again) wait for the final letter. All because they failed to mention, in the letter, at which orphanage the baby is living (even though everyone involved already knows).

And of course, in the meantime, social workers will get sick, or transferred, or sent on conferences for weeks at a time.

Am I sounding bitter? Well…I am. Honestly, I wanted to scream and shout and cry, “Do you have to make this as difficult as you possibly can? Don’t you people care about this baby? There are two million orphans in Tanzania and only about 50 get adopted each year! Don’t you even care that this baby gets a family?”

But I didn’t. In African culture, public display of anger is a worse sin than adultery. Literally. So I held it in and walked away.

We will be fine. Even with all this, Josiah’s adoption is still going much better than Grace’s. I know we will eventually bring him home, and God’s timing and sovereignty are perfect. I am trusting in that. Mostly, I’m just intensely frustrated.

I’m going to stop giving updates because it intensifies the disappointment when it doesn’t work out. However, I promise that the very day we bring him home, I will post pictures!

Thanks for your excitement and prayers for us.

We’re just waiting for a signature!

Yep, that’s all we’re waiting for. I saw the social worker again today, and she said that all the paperwork has been submitted, the final-final-final letter has been written, and is simply awaiting a signature from the commissioner of social welfare (whose office is next to hers).

She said I should call back tomorrow and see if it has been signed. I know, I know…how hard is is to sign a letter? Well…experience has taught us that it actually can take days to get a signature…but we’re hopeful!

The minute we have that letter in our hands, we can go to pick up our baby and bring him home. So hypothetically, it could happen tomorrow! Hypothetically.

With Grace, this “labor” stage (from approval to bringing her home) took 4 months. However, our lawyer has told us that we beat all the records…no one else ever had to wait that long.

Regardless, finding out that it may take longer than “a couple of weeks” to bring home Josiah isn’t all that surprising. I’ve found that with adoption, it’s best to keep your expectations really, really low. Then you can’t be disappointed.

One social worker has been transferred to a different city. Another one has been sick for a week. And today we found out that all the social workers are going to some 16-day conference beginning August 4th. Which means that if our baby’s paperwork isn’t completed by August 4th (which isn’t looking likely), then we wait until everybody gets back from the conference.

Such is life. For now, I will just enjoy the simplicity of having one child instead of two, and pray for God’s protection over my little boy’s heart and mind. In God’s sovereignty, when the time is right, Josiah will come home.