Tag: Adoption Page 1 of 24

Worth Your Time (May 2025)

On May 7, 2025

In Book Recommendations, Worth Your Time

Hello blog friends!

Here is my sporadic list of book, article, and movie recommendations that are worth your time.

Books:

Leveling Up: Adoptive Parents and Adult Adoptees: Taking Your Relationship to the Next Level by Dr. Christina Reese and Elaine Shenk

This book is a gift to adoptive parents. Certainly, launching children into the adult world isn’t easy on any parent, but adoption brings unique challenges to this stage of life. Leveling Up is written by two adoptive moms (whose children gave their blessing to the book) and is full of practical advice and personal stories. Strengthening your relationship with your kids is the top priority, and because of that, this book is full of hope. It was a wonderful encouragement to me.

The Eyes and the Impossible by Dave Eggers

This delightful book for kids is entertaining and thought-provoking for adults too! It’s an animal story, but these animals are quite philosophical, and Eggers is brilliantly talented in giving them a voice. Few books have made me literally laugh out loud…but this one did. I read it myself and am now reading it to Johnny, who is thirteen. Great for all ages – note it does have an interesting spiritual component that could provoke some good discussions with older kids.

The Ideal Team Player: How to Recognize and Cultivate the Three Essential Virtues by Patrick Lencioni

I read this one with my work team, since our job is to bring new missionaries into ReachGlobal. Lencioni identified three virtues–humble, hungry, and smart–that every great team member must possess. His insight is super valuable, but I especially enjoyed that he wrote this book as a novel, making it a quick and engaging read.

Re-Making the World: How 1776 Created the Post-Christian West by Andrew Wilson

Whoa–this was fascinating. Wilson documents key events in 1776 that transformed our world forever. This is one of those books that actually changed the way I think, because it caused me to consider world events, moral standards, and worldviews through the lens of how the world metamorphosed in such a short period of time, less than 300 years ago.

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles

This novel has it all – brilliant writing, engaging characters, unique plot, satisfying ending. Though it takes place during a dark time in Russian history, Towles’s ability to write in a light-hearted, captivating way means that the story doesn’t feel despairing. It’s redemptive, fun, educational, and clean (although a bit of innuendo).

Movies:

Lars and the Real Girl This is one of those movies that has a weird premise, but stick with it and find yourself surprisingly moved. At its heart, it’s about a community loving a broken young man into wholeness. Kids will be bored by it, teenagers will think it’s too weird, but young adults (or actual adults) who give it a chance may love it – as I did.

In fact, I was pleased to see that this movie made it onto Brett McCracken’s 50 Most Edifying Films of the 21st Century So Far. I’ve bookmarked this list – just in time for summer!

Articles:

The Evangelical Orphan Movement Grows Up by Jedd Medefind
Christianity Today may give you a paywall for this one, so I hope you can read it. Those of you who have read my blog for many years know that I started out naively supporting this movement until I saw the dark side for myself. I loved this summary of how the orphan movement started and where it is today, because it reflects my journey as well.

Parenting the Stranger in My House by Wendy Kiyomi
I read this one a couple of years ago and recently came upon it again. It’s one of the best, most beautiful, most helpful things on adoption that I’ve encountered. If you have adopted children or love someone who has, please read this.

“Considering adoption through the lens of hospitality anticipates a real encounter with suffering and offers a means of accounting for it. The primary movement of adoption is not away from brokenness but toward it; adoptive parents give it room at the very heart of their homes. Practitioners of biblical hospitality expect to suffer because they continually lay their lives down “in little pieces and small acts of sacrificial love and service,” writes Pohl. This costly calling is compassion, literally “co-suffering,” in which parents begin to bear not only their children’s old pain but also the pain that results from a new configuration of vulnerable, fallen individuals.”

Snapchat is Harming Children at an Industrial Scale by Jonathan Haidt and Zach Rausch
A must-read for every parent.

The Prosperity Gospel We Sometimes All Believe In by Tim Challies
“There is a version of the prosperity gospel that we can all believe in and it goes something like this: “God, I gave my life to you, and in exchange I expect you to make my life easy. I may not need riches or opulence, perfect health or abundant wealth, but I would like ease. And if you take that ease from me, I may just assume that your feelings for me have altered or your love for me has waned. I may even regret following you. Please, just keep my life easy.”

Can I Trust God With My Children?

By Amy Medina

On April 14, 2025

In Parenting, What I'm Learning

As a mom, do I have a control problem? Maybe. Do I have a responsibility problem? Definitely.

I’ve taken the StrengthsFinders assessment twice in the past twenty years; both times, responsibility was way up near the top. If I agree to do something, I will do it, and I will do it well, so help me God – or lose my sanity, my sleep, or my good sense in the attempt.

Raising teenagers makes me lose all of the above.

I tried so hard to do All the Good Parenting Things. I made them drink Kiefer, read countless books with them, prayed and played, showed and shared. I taught them to come when I called; I re-learned pre-algebra twice; I put limits on their screen time. I take my job so seriously. I am the Responsiblest Mom of them all.

And now I have four teenagers, with adulthood lurking around every corner, and I feel the desperate urgency looming over me that my time left with them is short. So Gil and I made an Adulting List that they must check off, and we are teaching them to drive, interview, clean, and budget. As they begin to make their own choices, I warn and cajole, nudge and prod.

Conversations with Grace: Black History Month

By Amy Medina

On February 26, 2025

In Race and Diversity

I hope you enjoy this conversation with Grace (who is currently 19 and a freshman in college). Like the last time she and I did this, remember that her perspectives are her own and don’t represent all others like her (or even her siblings). But I know you will find her thoughts informative and interesting!

When you were a Tanzanian kid growing up in Tanzania with American parents, what did you know about American Black History? Did you feel any connection with it?

We read books as a family about the black struggle in America, like Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry and The Watsons Go to Birmingham. But I didn’t feel a connection to them. I remember thinking that Harriet Tubman and Frederick Douglas were really cool, but I was not African-American so they weren’t my people.

I knew about the East African slave trade because we visited museums in Zanzibar and Bagamoyo, which were places that were a part of the slave trade. It was flabbergasting to see that it really happened to people, because even now, as a history major, it’s amazing that we as a human race treated other humans like that. But East African slaves did not go to America. [They primarily went to the Middle East or were enslaved within Africa for exports of ivory or other goods.]

How did that change when you moved here?

[We moved to the United States in the spring of 2020, shortly before the George Floyd riots that summer.] When we first moved here, I was in Target walking around without Mom, and this guy who was an older white man in a motorized wheelchair, stopped me. He said, “I just want you to know that Black Lives Matter and I believe that.”

I said, “Thank you.” But I wanted to say, “But I’m African.” Because I didn’t feel a connection with the movement at the time.

People assume that I am African-American. I don’t have an African accent; I sound like my parents. My love for other accents may have gotten me into trouble because I do use African-American vernacular all the time. So I can sound as if I’ve been raised in an African-American home. But I don’t always have the heart to explain the entire story, so I let them go ahead and believe that.

When Kisa joined my school sophomore year, that changed a lot for me. [Kisa was an international exchange student from Tanzania.] She helped me to embrace that part of myself and be proud of my identity as a Tanzanian.

How do you see the distinction between African-American and African?

If you have an ancestry of your family coming here due to slavery, then that’s what I count as African-American. African-Americans have their own culture of music and food. There’s also the impact of GI Bills and other forms of racism that have affected them. Things like gang life have been a part of African-American culture but not African immigrants.

African immigrants (like me) have a different culture. They stay much more African.

American Sprinkled with African: Conversations with Grace

By Amy Medina

On September 3, 2024

In Third Culture Kids

My Grace is now 18, has started college, and is studying to become a middle-school history teacher. I think she’s pretty fascinating, and want more people to get to know her. So she agreed to let me interview her for my blog. Just remember that she represents only herself, not all adopted kids, or even her siblings. And as she continues to process her childhood, her answers to these questions will continue to evolve. But she gives a great snapshot of her unique life, and I know you’ll enjoy it!

What was it like to grow up Tanzanian in Tanzania by American parents?

I’m sure that when I was younger, it didn’t feel as weird as it does looking back on it now. I knew other kids that were being raised like that, so I was like, “That’s normal.” Uh, no. No, it’s not!

As I grew up, like the last few years we were in Tanzania, I started realizing that I was treated differently by my Tanzanian classmates because I was from Tanzania, but that was the only thing that we had in common. I wasn’t fluent in Swahili; I had an accent from 10,000 miles away; I knew a lot about American culture and not Tanzanian culture. Sometimes I was subject to minor bullying. It wasn’t like I felt attacked; it was more like insults….. but that’s also because middle schoolers are awful. [And yet she wants to teach middle school!]

But also, being at Haven of Peace Academy really helped. Just because, even if they weren’t adopted, there were so many other kids like me there. There were kids who were from a different culture coming to live in Tanzania, which is kind of like my experience since I grew up in a culturally American home. Of course, I had great Tanzanian food and we listened to Tanzanian music but other than that, it was very American. So having missionary and international kids at the school made me feel that there were way many other people like me around me.

In moving to the U.S. I realized, Whoa, there are more Black people here than I realized. So many ethnicities are counted as “Black” but there are so many different experiences represented. A Nigerian who moved to America as a college student will be living a crazy life of cultural shock. But other kids who are Nigerian and grew up here are completely different. It helped me to realize that there are so many different Black experiences in the U.S. Yes, my story is weird but that’s true of so many people in America.

Worth Your Time (March 2024)

By Amy Medina

On March 27, 2024

In Book Recommendations, Worth Your Time

Hey readers,

Here’s my recent round-up of books and articles to read. If you do, let me know what you think!

Keep Complaining to God. Just Don’t Ignore Him by Drew Dyck

“What explains why some leave while others stay? Sometimes the only difference I could see is what they did with their trials. The first group ran away from God while the second ran toward him. Instead of letting doubt and disappointment fester in darkness, they dragged it into the light. They joined the great biblical tradition of prophets who expressed their grievances to God, often in harsh and accusatory language.”

Make Your Life Count: 12 Rules for Teens by John Piper

7 Parenting Errors That Can Influence Adult Children to Leave the Faith by Q. O. Helet

“I can easily identify many things we did—or did not do—that may have contributed to our sons’ departure from the faith. I hope to see others avoid such an outcome. In that light, here are seven parenting errors that can influence adult children to turn their back on Christ.”

The State of the Culture, 2024: Or a glimpse into post-entertainment society (it’s not pretty) by Ted Gioia

Whoa, this is fascinating and scary and super important: “The fastest growing sector of the culture economy is distraction. Or call it scrolling or swiping or wasting time or whatever you want. But it’s not art or entertainment, just ceaseless activity. The key is that each stimulus only lasts a few seconds, and must be repeated.

It’s a huge business, and will soon be larger than arts and entertainment combined. Everything is getting turned into TikTok—an aptly named platform for a business based on stimuli that must be repeated after only a few ticks of the clock.”

Who Would I Be If I Was Happy? By Trevin Wax

“We live in a time of self-creation. The traditional markers of identity that once came from outside ourselves—from our family or friends or community or past—are viewed as subpar, even repressive. We’re supposed to chart our own course, to look deep inside to discover our desires and define ourselves as we determine.

This way of life sounds exhilarating at first, but the result is fragility. What happens when we adopt the therapeutic assumptions of our age, when we look into our hearts and find only failures and frailty? Many of us begin to define ourselves by our maladies, to base our identities in suffering.”

Books:

What White Adoptive Parents Should Know about Transracial Adoption by Melissa Guida-Richards

This was such a helpful, insightful book–it really is a must-read for anyone who has adopted transracially (or is thinking about it).

Being Elisabeth Elliot: Elisabeth’s Later Years by Ellen Vaughn

I wrote about Part 1 of this biography a couple of years ago here at A Life Overseas. Part 2 did not disappoint. What a fascinating look into what was going on in Elisabeth’s life during the time she wrote the books that influenced me so much.

My garden has started blooming. Happy Spring to you all!