Should We Celebrate Orphan Sunday?

Tomorrow is Orphan Sunday, the day when thousands of churches across America focus on the plight of orphans worldwide.

I always have been a big fan.

Now, I’m just uncertain.

Discovering the illegal inter-country adoptions happening in Tanzania shook me to my core.  Oh, I had always read the articles from the doubters and the nay-sayers and all those negative people who either had a beef against Christians or taking kids out of their culture or whatever.  Phooey on them.  Adoption was beautiful, and that’s final.

Then I saw the full effects of the damage that American adoption agencies are capable of doing in an African country.

And I have found myself with this tension I can’t resolve.  First, I see my own experience and my own children, and I am absolutely confident we did the right thing.  We did our adoptions legally and without a hint of corruption, and there were no other options available to my children other than a life sentence in an orphanage.  My children made me a mom and have blessed my life beyond description, and I want that for other children and for other families.

But now my eyes are open to the abuses, especially in countries with poor infrastructure and bottom-level poverty.  Where is the line between adoption and child-trafficking?  How can something so beautiful turn into something so ugly?  How can we best love the child, but also love her family and his country?

I am on a quest for these answers.  In the next couple of months, I plan to read the following books:

The Child Catchers:  Rescue, Trafficking, and the New Gospel of Adoption by Kathryn Joyce

In Pursuit of Orphan Excellence by Philip Darke and Keith McFarland

Orphan Justice:  How to Care for Orphans Beyond Adopting by Johnny Carr and Laura Captari

In the meantime, Yes, we should celebrate Orphan Sunday.  Let’s not turn our backs on those most vulnerable because some people make it ugly.  But by all means, let’s work to get it right.

I will be thinking hard and writing about what I learn.  Anything else I should read as I continue this journey?  I welcome your thoughts and questions.

photo credit:  Hannah Towlson

Josiah is Eight

It’s been 8 years since this quirky little guy was born.  In 8 more years he will be sixteen.  Whaaaat????

He could kick since he could walk.  Recently, a mom of four boys said to me, “My boys say that Josiah by himself could beat all of them in football combined.”

That’s my boy.  He is the smallest in his class, but he is the fastest.  Last week, when school was cancelled because of the election, he said, “I’m sad there’s no school….because I wanted to play football.”  He plays three times a day–at least.  

So, of course, he had a football birthday party (of course).  Gil, who is the party-planner extraordinaire, planned a multitude of football activities for the boys.  Cost nothing and was the best party ever (as confirmed by various 8-year-olds).

Aw, my sweet boy.  You are all energy and bravado, but you still love to climb in my lap.  This Mommy is still so smitten by you.

I Really Did Grow Up to Be a Princess

When I was a little girl, I often imagined I was a princess.  I loved the idea of being able to have anything I wanted.  I had only one Cabbage Patch doll, while a girl in my class had sixteen.  In my imaginary palace, I had a whole room full of them.

What I didn’t realize is that I already was nobility, and I still am.

After all, I am one of thetop 1% richest people in the world, even on a missionary’s salary.  If you make over $30,000 a year, you are too.  If that’s not a princess, I don’t know what is.

Growing up, I never felt wealthy in America.  My parents lived on the “undesirable” side of town.  My family never had a new car.  My parents wouldn’t buy me a senior class ring.  A girl in my class received $150 a month for her allowance.  I had to work for the $20 a month that I received.

It didn’t change as an adult.  When I was teaching kindergarten and Gil was in seminary, it seemed everyone had more than me.  I drove a dumpy little Hyundai.  Gil and I have never owned a house, and our apartment was full of used furniture.  Everyone else had nicer clothes, fancy kitchens with marble counter tops, weekly pedicures, and gym memberships.  I felt…poor.  And I felt kind of sorry for myself.

Then I moved to Tanzania.  We moved into a modest-sized house, average for California…but most Tanzanians live in one room.  We have electricity and indoor plumbing, which puts us in the top 10% of residents.  We own one 1999 Toyota mini-van, but the vast majority of Tanzanians are lucky to have even a bike.  I have a college education, when only 5% of Tanzanians finish high school.

Suddenly, I was a princess.

Just yesterday, I was talking to a Tanzanian friend about her financial struggles.  She has a sixth grade education.  She receives $100 a month from her job, plus whatever else she can make selling charcoal.  She supports three young children and a good-for-nothing husband who continually cheats on her. Twenty percent of her income goes to childcare, so that she can work.  Ten percent goes to her daughter’s (supposedly free) public school education.  At least sixty percent of her salary goes towards food.  She lives in two rooms, cooks outside, and walks a few blocks to bring home water.  Her life, in Tanzania, is average.  She’s not even considered the poorest of the poor.

Living here has done wonders for my level of contentment.  Sure, there are still people around me who are much richer than I am.  Not everyone in Tanzania is poor!  But when the vast majority is scratching by on so much less, suddenly my 1999 mini-van looks like a queen’s carriage.  The air conditioner in my bedroom puts me in a palace.  The never-ending supply of food in my refrigerator, the trips to the beach, the occasional dinner at a restaurant–all put me in the category of The Privileged.

In America, it was much harder to see myself this way.  I was constantly bombarded by advertisements, shopping malls, and friends’ houses, all telling me that I wanted more, deserved more, needed more.  In a country where even food stamp recipients get $400 a month, it’s easy to feel poor.

I’ve noticed that whenever I feel discontent with what I have, it’s because I am comparing up.  He has a nicer house than me.  She had a better vacation than I will ever have.  Why does she have that, and I don’t?  American commercialism, in general, encourages this.

But if the statistics are true, and Americans hold half of the world’s wealth, and anyone who makes $30,000 a year is in the top 1%…..well, then shouldn’t we be comparing down?  It may seem that everyone around us has more than us, when in reality, in the grand scope of the world, we are the ones who have more….than pretty much everyone else.

I’m not about feeling guilty for being rich.  And I’ve written many timesbefore on what I think us rich people should do with all our wealth.  Today, I’m just thinking about contentment.  About entering this holiday season with the perspective of someone who is one of the richest people in the world.  Instead of comparing up, comparing down.  Americans spend more on Halloween than the entire world spends on malaria in a year.  Americans spend $465 billion on Christmas every year, and only $6.3 billion to fight AIDS overseas.

Someday, just like the servant who received 10 talents, I’ll have to stand before God and give account of how I spent my money.  I think He’ll expect me to own up to being rich.  At the very least, I can start with being content with what He has given me.  After all, there’s not much more that’s disturbing than an ungrateful, dissatisfied princess.

Tanzania Shines

It’s been a strange week.

We haven’t left our house except to take the kids the quarter mile to and from school.  We anxiously combed the internet for information, hearing reports of tear gas, fires, and unhappy citizens around the country.  Yet, our neighborhood was more silent than usual.  Traffic was light; shops were closed.

Yesterday, we kept the kids home from school.  We heard the presidential results would be released sometime yesterday, and our area is a bit of a hot spot for the opposition.  HOPAC closed early anyway, once it was confirmed that the results really were coming.

So, we spent another day at home.  Gil and the kids prepared games for Josiah’s birthday on Saturday.  Twice, military jets flew over, low to the ground.  Everyone looked up in awe, except for Johnny, who ran into the house in fear.  The government’s point was clear:  No Messing Around.

It was one of the few times when I wished we had television.  I kept refreshing the news page, over and over, about 67 times.  But in the end, we didn’t need the newspaper to tell us the results.  At 4:00 in the afternoon, we heard the cheering all around us, from miles around.  Magufuli had been declared the winner.  Cars honked, people celebrated, for at least the next hour.  The air was electric with excitement.

Not everyone is happy, of course, especially the 40% who voted for the opposition, and I’m still not sure how I would have voted if I had been given the chance.  But with just a few exceptions, it looks like Tanzania successfully pulled off a peaceful election, and that is remarkable.  Was it fair?  Was it lawful?  Did the party leaders behave themselves?  It’s hard to know for sure.   The people, however, are to be commended for their dignified conduct.

Tanzania has a lot of problems.  It continues to be one of the poorest countries in the world, and it has its fair share of corruption and infrastructure problems.  But today, I am proud to be a guest in this country.

Tanzania has been one of the only countries in Africa to avoid war or major unrest since it’s independence.  It’s been one of the only countries in Africa where it is assumed that the president will step down after his term is over.  It’s been one of the only countries in Africa to hold peaceful elections, even when the race was tight.

“By the end of the 1980’s, not a single African head of state in three decades had allowed himself to be voted out of office.  Of some 150 heads of state who had trodden the African stage, only six had voluntarily relinquished power.  They included…Tanzania’s Julius Nyerere [the first president].”

(Martin Meredith, The Fate of Africa)  Nyerere set the foundation for peace, and Tanzanians have steadfastly persisted in that legacy.

Well done, Tanzania.  You have much to be proud of.  And congratulations (and Happy Birthday, ironically!) to Mr. John Magufuli, 5th president of the United Republic of Tanzania.

We All Wait.

Saturday was filled with an air of anxious anticipation.

Motorcycles raced down the road in packs, with red and blue Chadema flags waving behind them.  Young men crowded into the backs of pick-up trucks, shouting and cheering.  Church parking lots were filled, as many held services on Saturday instead of Sunday.  The grocery store was packed.  The ATM machines were out of money.  There was a line at the gas station, which hardly ever happens here.

Grace asked, “Mommy, one boy in my class says that his dad is hiding his car.  Why would he do that?”  People were excited, but people were nervous.

Sunday was election day.  All was eerily quiet, as no one was working and no one was in church.  Voters waited in long lines, sometimes for a number of hours, but proudly leaving with a purple pinkie finger.

Teachers sent out emails with, “If your child has to stay home this week, here’s some work for them to do.”  Monday morning, we cautiously re-entered the world and took our kids to school.  Many who live farther away stayed home.

So far, there is peace.  But the presidential results have not yet been announced.

Collectively, the country holds its breath.

(picture from Shelby Rhee)

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