How Are We Adjusting? A Year Later

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On June 4, 2021

In Re-Entry to America

This is always a complicated question. Let’s see if I can answer it in categories:

Kids: 

They are the main reason we returned, so I’ll start here. Our kids are doing remarkably well, considering everything they’ve been through this past year. They all like their new school; they all have lots of friends. I can’t express what a huge relief this is.

Grace and Josiah started the year online, but working from school (Grace in the library, Josiah in the gym). We jumped on this option because it gave them a chance to make friends–and it worked. Since Grace was at school every day (as a staff kid), and the other students rotated days, for a while she had her Monday friends, her Tuesday friends….you get the idea. So when everyone came back on campus, her friend group was huge! She has been in friend heaven. 

I was most concerned about Josiah, starting a new school and a new life as a seventh grade boy. But in God’s kindness, I think that starting the year off with just a few other kids in the gym was exactly what he needed. In fact, once all the kids were back in school full-time, Josiah told me, “Mom, I miss the gym. This was one of my best school years ever because of the months in the gym.” Well, what do you know? Thanks, COVID (and God’s providence), for that silver lining.

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Please, Talk to the New Person

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On May 28, 2021

In Re-Entry to America

Last night I attended a school event with one of my kids, hosted in the large backyard of one of the families. About 40 adults were there, and I was looking forward to finally going to a social event where I could meet people. 

As soon as we arrived, my daughter ran off with her friends. I looked around and recognized only one person, someone who I had briefly talked to only a couple of times. But she was with a group of women and I didn’t want to intrude. In fact, everyone was with a group of friends. 

So I positioned myself in a central area. I fought the urge to take out my phone, because I knew that would put up a wall around me. So I just stood there, leaning against a pillar, alone. I worked hard to put a pleasant look on my face, when internally I was feeling awkward and anxious.

I don’t consider myself shy, but I’m not extroverted enough to have the courage to approach a group of strangers at a party. I looked around for any other woman who was by herself, because I would have been brave enough to talk to her. But there were none. I guess I was hoping that someone would recognize me as new and come up and introduce herself. No one did.

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Johnny Can’t Travel With Us: A Lament Over U.S. Immigration

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On May 14, 2021

In Adoption, Leaving Tanzania

All year, we’ve been planning a family trip back to Tanzania in June–the precise window of time when our kids’ new school would be finished and Haven of Peace Academy would still be in session. We had such a traumatic ending last March. All year, our family has talked about going back and finishing better. 

But U.S. immigration won’t let us leave the country with Johnny. So that means Grace, Lily, and I will still go to Tanzania this June–only half of us. I’m excited to go, but this is not what I wanted. So I lament.

Yet this isn’t my first struggle with U.S. immigration. It’s been going on for fifteen years.

I think part of the reason why I have compassion for immigrants is because I have four of them in my family. Maybe this is news to some, but children adopted internationally by Americans don’t automatically become U.S. citizens. In the fifteen years I’ve had my children, I’ve often been prevented from bringing them into the United States. And now I’m being prevented from taking one out. 

This has been a theme of our lives. Here’s one example (of many that could be told):

I still remember the day so clearly: Josiah was two years old. By this time, he had been in our home since he was nine months old and had just been officially adopted. In order to start his U.S. citizenship process, he had to be in our custody for two years. Since we hadn’t met that mark yet, if we wanted to visit the States, we needed to get him a tourist visa. 

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To the 68% Who Aren’t Thrilled About Refugees

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On May 11, 2021

In American Worldview, Book Recommendations, Living Like a Missionary in America

So I’m still trying to figure out why people pay money for ripped jeans and why cauliflower has become a pizza crust so I guess you could say that there are a lot of things that still really confuse me around here.

But there’s one thing that has me especially perplexed: American Christians’ aversion to refugees. 

A couple of years ago, a Pew Research Center Study reported this: “By more than two-to-one (68% to 25%), white evangelical Protestants say the U.S. does not have a responsibility to accept refugees. Other religious groups are more likely to say the U.S. does have this responsibility. And opinions among religiously unaffiliated adults are nearly the reverse of those of white evangelical Protestants: 65% say the U.S. has a responsibility to accept refugees into the country, while just 31% say it does not.”

Seriously, I don’t get it. Help me out here; I need to understand. What is it about being a “white evangelical protestant” in particular that makes a person so averse to America accepting refugees? Now, I get that saying “the U.S. does not have a responsibility to accept refugees” isn’t the same thing as saying, “We don’t want them here.” But the sentiment is related. Right? 

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I Could Never Do That

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On May 10, 2021

In A Life Overseas, Fear, Thoughts on Missions

This was written for A Life Overseas, so my audience was missionaries. However, I think it applies to all kinds of hard things God may be asking us to do. It’s not just missionaries who are good at making excuses!

“I could never do that,” she exclaimed. “But that’s because I have kids.”

It was fifteen years ago; I was sitting behind a table at a missions conference, the church members perusing the displays of flags and brochures. She was a young mom, about my age, and was commenting on my husband’s and my decision to move back to Tanzania, long-term. 

My internal response was to feel a bit snooty. I wanted to say, “Well, I plan on having kids there, and I’m still doing this.” But I bit my tongue.

I knew better than to judge her, because how many times had I said, “I could never do that” about all sorts of other things? Moving back to Tanzania and raising kids there didn’t feel like a big deal to me because I had been an MK in Africa. But I had told my friend in Mongolia, “I could never live there.” And what about my missionary friend who lived in a remote part of Tanzania, without running water or electricity? Hadn’t the same words slipped out of my mouth?

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