The Oddness of My Normal Life

Just an ordinary Monday.

Kids up, breakfast made, Gil’s lunch assembled, Bible time with the kids.  Walked to school to pick up the car, told Grace, “Be ready for school by the time I get back!”  Out the door at 9 am. 

Drove the mile to Grace’s school, she got out, came to my window, and promptly burst into inconsolable tears.  Taken aback at the behavior of my normally sunny, outgoing, I-love-school daughter, I asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to go to school!!!!”

Why not?

“I want to go home!!!!”

Firm Mommy.  Pried her fingers off the car, deposited her in the arms of one her teachers, and drove off with the vision of my daughter’s screeching face, outstretched arms in my rear-view mirror.

Horrible Mommy.  And my mind races.  Why didn’t she want to go to school?  Are they mistreating her?  Did something terrible happen that she didn’t tell me?  Mega guilt.

Next stop:  gas station.  Only and always full service in this country.  I asked for 40,000 shillings.  “Oops,” the attendant says to me, “I accidentally put in 46,000.”  Well.  Good thing I had the cash, since that’s the only method of payment. 

Drove for five minutes and realized the gas gauge was barely budging over a quarter of a tank.  For $30 worth of gas.  Irritated.

Stopped by the appliance store.  Since the weather has heated up, our fridge no longer can keep up and everything is spoiling, and no one has been able to fix it.  So we need a new refrigerator.  “We no longer sell refrigerators,” the clerk tells me.  “Now we only have air conditioners.”  I day dream for a minute about that air conditioner that is the size of a walk-in closet.  Maybe we could just make our whole house the temperature of a refrigerator.  Would that work?

Got to the grocery store.  I have recently fallen in love with weekly meal planning; it makes life so much less stressful.  That is, except when I can never find the things on my list.  Lasagna on the list for tonight; it’s Bible study night and I need something that will feed 8 people and can be adapted for our token vegetarian. 

No lasagna noodles.  I sigh and buy manicotti instead.  No fresh milk.  I debate for a while; do I want to buy boxed milk for the ricotta cheese, even though it’s twice the price of fresh milk and probably not even really milk?  (I mean, how can real milk sit on a shelf for months and not go bad?)  I sigh again and dump four boxes in the cart.

On the way home I stop at two other smaller shops.  But apparently all of Dar es Salaam is out of lasagna noodles and fresh milk. 

I go back to the gas station.  I put on my angry face and show the attendant my gas gauge.  “Is something wrong with the machine?” I ask.

“Maybe,” she shrugs. 

She pulls out the hose and puts another 15,000 shillings worth of gas in my car.  “Now check your gauge,” she asks me.  “Is that enough?”  The ludicrousy of this exercise does not escape me.  “I guess so,” I say.

Guilty Mommy is still present, so I decide to pick up Grace early from school.  I pull in and she is playing outside with her friends.  “Why are you here, Mommy?”

“Because you were upset.  Because you didn’t want to come to school today.”

“Oh.”  Long stare.

“Why didn’t you want to come to school?”

“Because I didn’t think it would be fun.  But it is.”

Sigh again.  “Do you want me to come back after lunch like usual?”

“Yes, please.”

(She and I will be “discussing” it this afternoon.)

Came home, gave Josiah hot dogs and mango for lunch, and now he is singing in his bedroom instead of sleeping.

ADOPTION UPDATE (Since some people have been asking)

 Here you go:

Yep.  That pretty much says it all.

Pumpkins and Pineapples

November 2009

I love Facebook and reading blogs because it helps me keep in touch with people so well. I love that I can see pictures of my friends’ kids as they are growing up….that I can hear about major events in their lives so that when I see them again, we can pick up where we left off.

But then there’s the hard part.

I was thinking about this recently when everyone started posting pictures of taking their kids to the pumpkin patch. And talking about fall colors and cold air and pumpkin pie scented candles. But over here on my side of the world, I laid awake till 1 am last night, staring into the darkness, with soaking wet hair, trying to breathe, waiting for the power to come back on so that we could turn on the air conditioner. As my friends in America are layering on sweaters, we are layering on the deodorant. I put out a fall-themed table runner last week, and this really confused Grace. Is it autumn, Mommy? Well, no, Sweetie, not in Tanzania, just in America. There is much discussion among our American mission friends (as every year) on how we will track down a turkey (a major undertaking) so that we can celebrate Thanksgiving (on a Saturday, since it’s not a holiday here).

It’s often not been so bad as long as I can forget what “my other life” would be like if I were in it. But having just gone through fall/winter last year in the States, and with all these reminders on the internet, it is, well, hard. So I struggle with wanting to keep in touch with people but not allowing my heart to dwell on what I don’t have. I struggle with wanting to remain “American” but yet allowing my children to delight in being Tanzanian.

And you’re probably thinking anyway, “But look at your amazing pictures of Zanzibar!” True. I know that. And though we don’t have bright orange pumpkins appearing in October, we have enormous pineapples being trucked in. So how do I live between these worlds? How do I retain my American-ness while embracing my Tanzanian-ness?

I realized recently that I have spent almost 14 of my 33 years in Africa. Just about half my life, isn’t it? It’s a strange feeling. I’m not quite sure which one is more me.

Everybody Say “Awwwwww…..”

We had always talked about breeding our Jack Russell, so now, finally, 5 years later, we finally got around to it. 

I wondered often what was going through Minnie’s mind through this whole thing.  I mean, she’s never seen a birth, never seen puppies, and one day she gets this enormous stomach that is practically touching the ground, and then puppies start appearing.  “It all started when that strange dog showed up,” she wonders to herself.  Minnie did give us some very bewildered looks those first few days.  “How did this happen?”  Yet, of course, due to our marvelous Creator, the dog (who has never seen a birth or had anyone teach her) knows exactly what to do.  Maybe this isn’t very amazing to many people but I’ve thought it’s all been pretty darn cool. 

And of course, there isn’t anything much cuter than kids and puppies. 

Don’t bother asking for one.  They were spoken for before they were born.  Jack Russells like to catch rats and bark at strangers, so they are quite popular dogs around here. 

Three more weeks till they go to their new homes.  I will miss those little faces, but I will not miss all the pee. 

Capturing Zanzibar

Last week was mid-term break, so Gil and I left the kids with friends and snuck away for four days to celebrate our 10th Anniversary.  We went to Zanzibar, where we have been quite a few times before, but there’s always new places to explore and fall in love with all over again. 

Zanzibar is an inhabited island (population 1 million) off the coast of Tanzania and though it is technically part of Tanzania, has a very unique culture.  The beaches are unlike anything in the world.  The architecture is stunning.  The culture and people, a mix of Arab and African, are fascinating.  We stayed three nights at a beach hotel and one night in Stonetown, the capital city.  We biked, snorkeled, walked, watched the sunset, read, swam, kayaked, and enjoyed great food.  It was just plain wonderful. 

Gil collected these while snorkeling by tying them to his trunks….don’t worry, we threw them all back after the picture!

A sea turtle conservation facility. 

Since I’ve seen baby turtles hatching twice now, it was so fascinating to see them as adults!  Such beautiful, graceful, gentle animals. 

Mnarani Beach Hotel

The rest of these pictures are views from Stonetown.

Tanzania elections coming up on Sunday….the streets everywhere are plastered with posters!

At night, Forodhani Gardens are lit up by dozens of food vendors selling all the seafood you can imagine!

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