One Girl

Maggie needed a senior picture photoshoot, so Gil was happy to oblige.  And of course, setting up the lighting meant that everyone else in the house got in on the action as well.  But the focus was on Maggie.

She grew up in a small town in Tanzania, one of many children.  She figured out early on that she was really good at math and science.  And determined.  She went to boarding school from the age of 8, and once she hit secondary school, managed to get herself scholarships to better and better schools, finally finishing her last two years at HOPAC.  And this year, she was offered the ultimate scholarships of all:  full-rides to both Stanford and MIT to study engineering. 

Through an intricate set of circumstances that was one of those God-things, she has ended up living with us since November.  And then my mom came out to visit in February, so Maggie got to know her.  And then she chose Stanford University, which is only 30 minutes from my parents’ house. 

So now, as she graduates next week and is being sent out into that scary world called America in August–her first time out of Tanzania, her first time on a plane ever–my parents will be there to pick her up at the airport.  And help her get a bike.  And find her way around.  And show her how to order a drink at Starbucks. 

Thanks, God!  That is really cool how You worked that out. 

And someday she will return to Tanzania and change the world. 

But for now, I’m just thankful that God gave us this opportunity to change each other’s worlds, just a little bit. 

It’s been such a great experience that we’re doing it again next year, this time with Sam from South Africa.  But more about her later.

The Sublime and the Ridiculous

When walking to the tailor:

Grace:  Mommy, why are all the kids saying ‘mzungu?’ Is that another way of saying Hi?

Mommy:  No, it means ‘white person.’  They are saying that because I am white.

Grace:  Oh.  We don’t mind that you are white, Mommy.

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Grace:  When my baby sister grows up, I hope she doesn’t speak Italian.  Because then we wouldn’t be able to understand her.

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Mommy:  What was that thumping I heard in your room a little while ago?

Grace:  (with great emotion)  Just the beating of my heart.  Because I hurt my chin this morning. 

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Josiah to Grace:  You are spitting at me! 

Grace:  No, I am laughing.

Josiah:  But you are spitting!

Grace:  (indignantly)  Laughing makes the spitting come out! 

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Mommy to Maggie about college life:  You might want to request a women’s only floor.  Would you really want to live with guys?

Grace:  Yeah, that would be stinky.

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Grace was doing a princess puzzle.

Josiah:  I like Belle.

Grace:  But she doesn’t have any superpowers.

Josiah:  I know; I like her face. 

Mommy:  Why do you like her face?

Josiah:  Because she is awesome.

One of My Very Favorite Things

When I was young, probably my most favorite thing to do was theatre.  My high school had a phenomenal theatre department with a very talented director, and there was absolutely no place I would have rather been than on that stage.  Sewing costumes, the smell of aerosol hairspray, the hair nets and wigs, building sets on Saturdays, the feel of anticipation when the lights go down and elation during the curtain call…but most of all, the amazing sense of camaraderie that is built when working on a play….not found anywhere else. 

“Steel Magnolias,” VCHS, 1993

“Traveling Light,” Hillside Church, 1996 (this one’s for you, MB!)

But it’s been a really, really long time since I’ve been on a stage again.  So when some good friends at HOPAC announced they wanted to put on a musical, I was thrilled and jumped at the chance to participate. 

It is called “A Few of My Favorite Things” and is an adaption of the best scenes and songs from “The Sound of Music.”  HOPAC rented the only real theatre in town, and we had ourselves four performances of the real thing….the lights, the sets, and of course, lots of hair spray.  What fun it has been (closes tomorrow) to be back on stage again (I still love it!), but even more, what a joy it has been to feel that wonderful sense of camaraderie with everyone who participated…students, teachers, parents, and even board members. 

I played Sister Berthe.  I have never considered myself much of a singer, and have never sung a solo in public since probably…the 7th grade.  But when you are part of a small school, guess what?  Suddenly you are a good singer.  Who not only gets solos but also gets to sing four-part harmony.  In Latin.  Definitely a new experience for me. 

As you can see, our production did not look very Austrian.  Obviously the Von Trapp family became an adoptive family in our case.  But I think everyone got the idea. 

So anyway, since I know a lot of former HOPAC staff read this blog….here are lots of pictures for you.  Enjoy!

Wanting to Buy a Little Pink Toothbrush

Monday is our grocery shopping day. As we passed the shampoo, toothpaste, lotion….I paused and examined the children’s toothbrushes. I almost said to the kids, “Let’s pick one out for your sister!”

But I stopped. Too soon, I told myself. Don’t let your heart go. Don’t start planning…yet. In the past few weeks, I’ve thought about going through all of Grace’s stored-up clothes to see what I have in stock for our new little one. I’ve thought about buying her a dresser. Or getting new bibs or cleaning off the pack n’ play. But I haven’t. Because we still don’t have a due date.

Recently we talked with some friends who are interested in Tanzanian adoption. “It’s important to remember,” I told them, “that you must get used to disappointment.”

Today was one of those days. For the past two and half weeks, we’ve been waiting on a police report. The social worker in Mwanza is supposed to send a letter (it’s always about the letters!) to the local police requesting a letter from them which states that the child has been relinquished and is thus available for foster care. Amy H., the director of Forever Angels, told me that the social worker said she made this request of the police the very day after I visited.

So we’ve been waiting for the police report. To get sent to the social worker. Which then gets sent down to the main office in Dar es Salaam. During the past week and a half, Amy kept telling me that the social worker was out of the office at a funeral, and apparently no one else in the office could do anything without her there. But I wasn’t terribly concerned since really, it was the police were who supposed to be writing a letter at this point. Amy was checking daily (she is amazingly persistent) and finally, today, the social worker was back.

She sent me a text. I was so excited to see it was from her. Had the police report been sent?

No. In fact, Amy was sorry to say, the social worker had not even made the request from the police yet (despite telling us she had). She said that the social worker was writing it that very moment (I’m sure Amy made sure of that…I can imagine her, standing over her shoulder until it was done), but that still means that absolutely nothing has happened these past two and a half weeks.

So basically that means there is no way we will have her by the end of May. Maybe by the end of June.

Today, I am tired of being disappointed and feeling rather sorry for myself. I will get over it. I’ve been through this enough times now, and seen so many delays and so many miracles, to know that God is in control of both.

But I’m glad I didn’t buy the toothbrush….yet.

Four Very Different Books About Women

The true story of a Saudi Arabian princess growing up in the 50’s.  Truly fascinating look into the lives of privileged middle eastern women.  An eye-opening, disturbing, page-turner. 

“The only knowledge most Arabs have of American society comes from the content of low-grade American movies and trashy television shows…the vast majority of Arabs truly believe that most Western women are promiscuous.”  (So what happens when they associate America with Christianity as well?)

Inspiring, encouraging, humble.  I loved this one and highly recommend it for young moms.  Sally Clarkson presents her advice with humility and gentleness, and I felt convicted and inspired–but not guilty and overwhelmed as some parenting books make me feel. 

“If I have integrity and patience in the small moments of life that are so important to my children, and if I approach them with a servant’s heart, then I have a far better chance of influencing them in the larger and more critical issues of life.”

“My biggest concern is not for [my children] to be happy, but for them to understand how–and why–to be content and to accept their circumstances as from God’s hand.”

I really debated over whether to recommend this one.  I am not ashamed to say I am a complementarian (if you don’t know what that is, don’t worry about it), but yet I still cannot wholeheartedly endorse this book.  I disagree with some of Debi Pearl’s Scriptural interpretations.  Some of what she says is downright ridiculous.  This is not the book to try to persuade someone to consider complementarianism–it is way too harsh and dogmatic.  And I would never give it to someone from a non-western culture. 

That said, it still impacted me almost more than any other marriage book I have read.  For an American wife who already takes a traditional interpretation of marriage roles, this book will give you a swift kick in the backside.  Debi Pearl does not mince words.  She is not gentle.  It’s hard to read, and I would have thrown the book across the room a few times except that I read it on my Kindle! But she says it like it is, and sometimes that’s what we need to hear.  I had to grudgingly admit that on more than one occasion, she was spot on. 

“No man has ever crawled out from under his wife’s criticism to be a better man–no matter how justified her condemnation.”

“God stands with you when you stand by your man, but you will stand alone if you insist on standing by your rights.”

Read it.  Even if you are not a Steven Curtis Chapman fan, you need to read it.  I cried through the entire second half, as I knew I would, but it’s beautiful and inspiring and a remarkable testimony to God’s Sovereignty and faithfulness in the midst of unspeakable tragedy. 

“It’s all true!  It’s all true!  The gospel is true.  If we believe anything about our faith, we have to believe that we know where Maria is right now and that God didn’t make a mistake.  He didn’t turn His head, He was in complete control.  Maria’s days here were numbered.  We don’t like it, but He will give us the strength and the hope to walk this journey.”  (Spoken by Mary Beth at her five-year-old daughter’s memorial service)

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