Esta is a part of my life that I haven’t written about yet. Mostly because I struggle with it myself so I know that others won’t really understand.
Esta is my house worker. She works for me 5 days a week, for 4 or 5 hours a day. She does all of my laundry and all of my cleaning. I pay her under $100 per month, which is still way over minimum wage. You’re probably thinking that I am awfully spoiled. And well, you are right. The problem is that missionaries are not supposed to be spoiled. They are supposed to suffer. Yep.
If you live in America and have a house cleaner a couple of times a month, you are lucky. And if you have a full time house worker, you are filthy stinkin’ rich. That’s not how it works here. Just about everyone has house workers–even house workers often have house workers. Basically, the culture says that if you have money, you share with people who have less than you. And hiring people to work for you is one way to do that. If you can afford to have workers and you don’t, it’s actually considered selfish.
I am extremely thankful that this is a part of African culture. If I didn’t have Esta, I would need to spend a few hours a day doing what she does. I don’t have a dish washer. I don’t have a dryer, which means everything needs to be hung out to dry and then ironed (dryers get a lot of wrinkles out). I have no glass on my windows–only screens, and we live on a dirt road. So that means that lots of dust comes into the house every day. We have lots of visitors which means sheets and towels are constantly being washed and dozens of glasses cleaned. Esta does all of this for me.
Even with all of this, I still struggle with having a house worker sometimes. Sometimes I want more privacy. Sometimes I want things done “my way,” and no matter how many times I explain the difference between Gil’s t-shirts and dress shirts, I find his t-shirts neatly ironed and hung in the closet, and his dress shirts folded and put in the drawers.
But don’t get me wrong. Having Esta is a huge blessing. Her work is what allows me the time to teach 6th grade Bible at HOPAC, and work on my Master’s Degree, and coordinate the after-school program….and…pretty much everything else I do. She is also fantastic with Grace and a great friend to me.
The picture of Esta above includes her brand new baby. Guess what she named her? Amy. Yep, that’s right. It is a big honor. Definitely a little strange for me. I am not the closest person in Esta’s life. But I probably have the most resources of anyone she knows. Naming her daughter after me helps to ensure that her daughter will be well cared for, in Tanzanian culture.
Having a house worker is actually investing in a family. While Esta has been on maternity leave, her sister-in-law has worked for us. We’ve helped when her husband has been out of work. We’re helping with the sister-in-law’s wedding. We paid for her medical costs when she had her baby (you won’t believe this folks–total cost came to about $75).
Domie, our night guard, also works for us. So does Gibbie, who is our Saturday gardener (the grass must be cut by machete and watered by hand). We are considered unusal because we don’t have a day guard as well, but we feel like our neighborhood is pretty safe. We know many people who also have a full-time nanny and a full-time cook. Many people think it is strange that I take care of Grace almost entirely by myself.
So there you have it. I am a spoiled missionary. You are no longer allowed to feel sorry for me. 🙂
Jayme Solomon
Thanks for sharing about the differences in our cultures. I know that a lot of women here wish that they had helpers at home. I know that I do sometimes… If someone could just cook and clean up the kitchen, that would be great! 🙂
Anonymous
wow amy thats cool her daughter is so cute and im glad you do have help!
da halls
Thanks for sharing about that. I am really enjoying learning about what your life is like.
80)
mb
Anonymous
Hi, Amy. I have to say that it is an ENCOURAGEMENT to hear that you have Esta to help because I’ve always wondered how you do SO much and have time to write about it here, to boot. Knowing you are NOT Superwoman after all makes me feel better about my current housekeeping abilities! 😀
And I love that help-others-with-what-you-have mentality in Tanzanian culture. I’d never heard of that before. Can you imagine what that would be like in the States? The word “community” might actually pertain more to people than to houses…
Thanks for sharing!
Unknown
I agree with what Hollie said. I think that is wonderful. What a different culture than us “self sufficient” Americans. I struggle with asking for help and then loose it because I try to do it all, and do it without help. I love that by her helping you, you are helping her and her family. I don’t think you are spoiled, I think it is a great blessing.
Megan @ SimplyThrifty
If you didn’t have help, you wouldn’t be able to do the ministry you were called to do. I’m thankful you have the opportunity to have help. I enjoyed reading about the differences…the folding of the dress shirts, the cost of having a baby. (I think it was somewhere in the neighborhood of $20,000+ to have Taeya! and that’s just the hospital bills…not all the appointments ahead of time.
jess
Shocking! Missionaries with housekeepers? What’s next, a decline in self-flagellation?!? 😉
We had a housekeeper in Venezuela when I was a kid. It’s a totally different mentality, it would’ve been odd not to. It’s only in the western world that it’s become a shameful display of wealth. I think it’s a leftover from the British class system. Not surprising that it still carries a stigma.
Everyone should serve to the best of their ability and yours is teaching and the other things God’s called you to. You shouldn’t feel guilty about that or the fact that Esta’s calling right now is keeping house for you so that you can do this.
Jen
Ya know, I think that in the states part of the stereo type of having a housekeeper is that it has come to imply that the wife doesn’t do anything. Probably from a lot of our higher end society where that may in fact be true.
It was really neat to hear the perspective of how it helps her in return. Some friends of ours in the bush in Nigeria also have a helper do laundry and it’s allowed them to minister to her and allowed the missionary wife to school her own children while carrying for very sickly orphan newborns in her home because she is a nurse. Before, she couldn’t do much of either because laundry by hand there took all day.
It does us so much good to realize that our own cultural thinking may not be the only way (or even the right way) to do things. God is constantly stretching my mind with this as I connect more and more with my missionary friends.
Thank once again for sharing!