Category: Other Page 82 of 181

Aiming at Heaven

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On May 19, 2013

In Other

It was May of 1989.  I was 12 years old, and my family was getting ready to leave the country where I had spent most of my childhood. 

We were leaving Liberia to go back to California for a year-long home assignment.  We packed up our house and put all our personal belongings into the spare room.  Another family would stay there for the year we were gone. 

The plan was that we would return in the summer of 1990, and would live in Liberia for my four years of high school. 

But during that year we were gone, a civil war broke out in Liberia.  It got worse.  And worse.

And finally it got so bad, that all the missionary women and children were evacuated.  Then the men were evacuated.  The compound where I grew up was bombed.  Many Liberian friends were killed.  We never returned.  My family was re-assigned to Ethiopia.

We lost everything.  Everything we owned was in Liberia, and it was all looted.  I lost my sixth grade journal, the painting my grandmother made me, and my childhood treasures.  More significantly, I lost my home country, my identity, my innocence. 

I never got to say good-bye, either to the country or the people I loved.  Liberia haunts my dreams; it remains an unfinished part of my life to this day.

Now, it’s May of 2013.  I am all grown up now, and our family is getting ready to leave the country where we’ve spent 10 years.  We are leaving Tanzania to go back to California for a year-long home assignment.  I am packing up our house and putting all our personal belongings into a spare room.  Another family will stay in this house for the year we are gone.

And I must admit; I am anxious.  The feelings are too eerily familiar to what I experienced as a child–packing up, leaving everything behind, assuming I will return.  So I find myself worrying that the same thing is going to happen again this time….that I will lose everything.

It’s a mostly irrational fear.  Tanzania is a far more stable country than Liberia was in 1989.  But the truth is, you never really know what’s going to happen in Africa. 

If there is one thing this life has taught me, it’s that I must hold loosely to everything.  Everything.  I can’t put down roots anywhere; I will never find stability.   I will never grow old in one house.  I may someday have to evacuate with the clothes on my back.  Or, I may just get robbed blind. 

But it’s okay.  Because it reminds me that I shouldn’t love this life too tightly anyway.  This life is not all there is, and it’s definitely not worth fretting over. 

Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in.  Aim at earth and you get neither.  C. S. Lewis

The Calm Before the Storm

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On May 16, 2013

In Other

We spent last weekend with good friends at one of our favorite places on earth, Chaza Mwamba (literally Barnacle Rock). 

It is probably the most beautiful, heavenly, peaceful place I ever visit.  The beach house is incredible, but the beach itself is….indescribable. 

When the tide is low, the beach creates a perfectly smooth, very deep, incredibly buoyant salt water pool.  And later on during the same day, when the tide is high, the beach becomes a boogie-boarder’s dream. 

And just in case you’re wondering, this beach is deserted.  No one there but us.  And yes, even missionaries can afford it.   Better than Malibu for non-Malibu prices.  HOPAC still needs teachers for next year….want to join in?

It was perfection.  And just what we needed in the midst of the craziness of our lives, and the coming bigger craziness.

Six weeks to go from today.  From here on out, it’s one big roller coaster.  All we can do now is hang on for dear life until we get on that plane.

Show Stopping

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On May 8, 2013

In Other

As student council adviser, preparations for the annual Talent Show have been occupying a great deal of my time and mental energy these last couple of weeks.

And last week, all I could think was, I am so glad that I don’t have to do this next year. 



But then Friday night came.  And it was full of laughter and community and great memories.  Now, I am wistful.  It’s always worth it.  And I will miss it.

Oh yes, we did zip line our Student Council president into the show!  (Of course, that was Gil’s idea.  Of course.)

The last act was five little girls dancing to Eye of the Tiger.  In rehearsal, I kept telling them, Look mean, girls!  Look mean!  They ended with a bang.

Compliments

By

On April 30, 2013

In Other

 

We don’t call people fat.  It’s not polite. 

 

I recently said those words to my children during a dinner discussion.  They came out of my mouth as instinct. 

 

And then I stopped. 

 

Confused.

 

Because in Africa, it is polite to call someone fat.  A compliment, actually.  Having curves is attractive.  Being too skinny is not.

 

These type of advertisements are all over Dar.  Dr. Mkombozi (and others like him) specialize in the fine art of preventing theft, getting you a girlfriend, and “male power” (not sure I know or want to know what that means). 

 

Apparently he can also make your…er….bottom…look like this:

 

 

 

I know, I know.  Just what you’ve always wanted.

 

But it’s true.  Africans like big.  If your wife is skinny, she will probably die of malaria.

It’s just oh so lovely when an African friend tells me exuberantly, Look!  You’ve gained weight!  And I give a strangled Thank You and smile the Fakest Smile Ever.

But I have African daughters with American parents, growing up in between two cultures.  How do I navigate this?

For years, it has broken my heart to see our Tanzanian students fret over their body shape, trying to meet a western ideal, when their own culture (and genetics) already thinks they are perfect.

So this is the deal.  I’m going to try really hard to not make fat a bad word in this house.  Thus, I apologize in advance if my children call you fat someday.  Just smile, take it as a compliment, and remember that we are African.  I think Africa’s got the better perspective anyway. 

There’s a verse in the Bible that I don’t believe.

By

On April 22, 2013

In Other

For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future.

Okay, so I realize I am stepping on some people’s sacred ground here.  And if not your sacred ground, then at least the Christian greeting card company’s. 

But I don’t believe that verse. 

Before you start throwing tomatoes at me, let me explain. 

I don’t believe this verse in the interpretation that most Americans give it.  I don’t believe that God has granted that promise to individual Christians for every age in history. 

I do believe that it was a promise made to a group of people who were exiled from their country at a specific time in history. 

I’m going to be frank. 

God has not promised us prosperity.  Sometimes God’s will is that we don’t prosper. 

God has not promised us safety.  Sometimes God allows us to be harmed. 

A month ago, a gang of thieves armed with machetes broke into the home of good friends of ours in the middle of the night.  They wounded the father and stole everything they could carry. 

Last night, it happened to another family who is dear to us.  Except that this time, the thieves had guns.  They shot at the father and missed.  They stole what they could carry.  They even tried to get the wedding ring off of the mom’s finger.  Thankfully, it wouldn’t come off.

Both families live just a couple of miles away from us.

Shivers of terror have gone through our community.  But for those of us who have lived here a long time, this is nothing new.  I could probably list about 20 families over the years who I know personally and who have experienced the same thing.

It has not happened to us.  Yet.  I have no assurance that it won’t.

Of course, we are very careful.  I think I mentioned before that my husband has the mind of a criminal.  So he has good plans in place to keep the bad guys out.  We talk about our plan.  We review our plan.  Tonight at dinner, he was re-reading the manual of our alarm system. 

We have not left Tanzania.  God has called us here.  We have no intention of throwing in the towel.  Neither have our friends who have experienced this trauma. 

But God does not promise our safety.  He does not promise that no harm will come our way, even when we are obeying Him.

I’m sure people thought that Columbine, and Newtown, and the Twin Towers were safe places.  But the truth is, there are no safe places.  No matter how much insurance we have, no matter how much we fire-proof our homes, no matter if we carry a gun or how many air bags we have in our cars, there are no safe places.  Our world is broken, and the American Dream is never going to fix it.

So instead of Jeremiah 29:11, I look to other promises.  Promises that I know apply to me, today. 

I will never leave you nor forsake you.

The Lord is with me, I will not be afraid.  What can man do to me?

In all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You.

I am convinced that neither death nor life, nor angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future…nor any powers, will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

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