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#14

The story starts with Apartment #9.

It was 1998.  I had just graduated from college, and was working on my teaching credential.  I moved into #9 with three friends.  The apartment complex was a logical choice:  affordable, friendly, and small–only about 40 units total.  All the units faced an inner courtyard with green grass and a pool.

I lived in #9 for two years.  Most of our furniture had been found on the side of the road.  Autumn and I stood on the couch, singing at the top of our lungs into wooden spoons.  Sofia and I spread our student teaching materials all over the floor.  The guys in an apartment on the second floor started a prank war with us, and one day we came home to the shower full of popcorn.

Then this friend of mine named Gil started hanging out at our apartment, all the time.  Autumn and Becca would give me knowing smiles every time he left.  

Gil and I got married in 2000.  We moved across the courtyard into #14.  It was a two-bedroom, just happened to be the largest unit in the complex, and was way too big for a young married couple, but we took it anyway because we didn’t want to leave the complex.  We spent our first year there.  I filled the cupboards with my wedding gifts and burned the first meal I cooked for guests.

After two years in Tanzania, we were back in California so that Gil could finish seminary.  This time we took a one bedroom in the same complex, #37.

I hosted chocolate fondue parties for college girls in that apartment, Gil worked on his seminary papers, and I watched with longing all the moms with little kids running around outside.

Fast forward 8 more years in Tanzania.  

Months and months ago, I started thinking about where we would live on our home assignment.  

I knew we would only be able to afford a two-bedroom.  

I knew I wanted to live in the same area of our favorite complex, because it is walkable and ethnically diverse and very close to our church.  

I thought about how great it would be if we could even live in that same complex where we had already spent 5 years.

And whenever I imagined our life in the States, I thought about how perfect it would be to live in #14 again.  It was huge.  Even with just two bedrooms, we would have plenty of room.  The front room was big enough for large groups,which is unusual for an apartment.  And the complex was kid-friendly and small.

Then I thought, Come on, Amy.  You can’t get your hopes up.  What really would be the chances that specific apartment will be available?  


But deep inside my heart, I prayed tiny little secret prayers.  Could we please have #14, God?  I hoped, but I didn’t really believe it could happen.

In the past couple of months, I’ve done a bunch of on-line apartment searching.  I’ve been in touch with a few different managers, including the one from our favorite complex.

Last week I wrote to her again, telling her that we now knew that we would need an apartment at the end of September, and would she please let me know if any two-bedrooms come available for that time?

She wrote back immediately and said she had just received notice for a two bedroom coming available the middle of September.  

Number 14.

Were we interested?

Number 14.  Available.  At the exact time we would need it.  

My heart started thumping and my hands started shaking.  

Really, God?  Really and truly?

She had two other people interested.  We applied immediately and held our breath.  

And now it will be ours.  

We will return from our six week road trip at the end of September (and three months living out of suitcases), and move into #14.  Other than my parents’ house, it’s the only place in America that actually remotely feels like home to me.  

He knows the number of hairs on my head; He knows my deepest longings.  And though His will often supersedes my desires and I must trust Him with that, sometimes He delights in giving us exactly what we want.  

Tahoe

Okay, so, I hate camping.

It’s kind of funny though; when I told people that we would be camping, a few of them responded with Oh, but well, you are used to that.  



Oh my goodness.

I seriously wonder sometimes if people imagine me hunting my own antelope with a bow and arrow, putting the meat into a pot over an open fire, turning the skin into clothes and then wearing them as I stir my antelope stew….

So let’s just get one thing clear:  My life in Tanzania is not like camping.

In Tanzania, I have a kitchen, walls and a floor, and most importantly, an indoor bathroom.  Sure, there are many people in Africa who would consider the American camping experience to be downright luxurious, with the little gas stoves and water sources just a few feet away, but rest assured, that’s not how everyone lives there–myself included.

Ahem.  Anyway.  Back to the hating camping part.

The church where I grew up has a Family Camp at Lake Tahoe every year.  I went many times as a kid and loved it.  But now, eh, not so much.  Something to do with the dirt and cold and lack of showers and permeating smell of smoke.  And did I mention dirt?  Dirt.

But Gil kept saying, We should go, Amy.  Sigh…yeah, I knew he was right.  After all, the whole point of this Home Assignment is to reconnect with people, and what better way to reconnect than with lots and lots of dirt?  Plus, I read somewhere that the closest families are those that camp together.  Oh, the guilt of parenting!  So we went.

On the first day, the elevation caused the mustard to explode all over Grace.  Seriously, all over.  I was freezing at night and curled up like a pill bug in my sleeping bag on the mattress which kept losing air, willing my body to please, please, stop producing urine.  And oh yes, there was dirt.  But don’t worry, the smoky smell covered up all the B.O.

But.  There was also the glorious open night sky and the perfectly crystal lake, the smell of the mountain trees which I had forgotten over so many years away and the joy of watching my kids ride bikes hour after hour–just as I did in the exact same place, so many years ago.

Most importantly, there were the great conversations with old friends, with so many who have loved us and supported us and looked after us year after year…..some who have known me since I too was a child at Family Camp.

The hugs and the laughter and the new memories….

….and I was so, so glad that we went.

Look, Mom, No training wheels!

Josiah said, “Kiss on the lips and we’ll take your picture!”

And raucous laughter proceeded.  

 

I would definitely do it again. Next time I’ll just be much more careful with the mustard.

Soaking in the Joy

On vacation with Gil’s family at a resort in San Diego 

and then at a horse ranch, 

on vacation with my family at Bass Lake, 

berry picking.

All Things Good

cul·ture shock

Noun

The feeling of disorientation experienced by someone who is suddenly subjected to an unfamiliar culture, way of life, or set of attitudes.

Life change comes when we receive life with thanks and ask
for nothing to change.
(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts)

Leaving routine and all that was familiar. 

Before going shopping, I keep thinking that I need to make sure I have enough cash, before realizing that I can just use a card. 

I automatically take off my shoes when entering a house, and I compulsively lock my car doors when driving. 

I barely notice the triple-digit weather, but put on a jacket in air conditioning. 

Colors and tastes seem stronger, advertisements feel like they are in my face, grocery stores simultaneously fill me with both uncontrollable excitement and anxiety.

I’ve been moody.  Feeling more introverted than usual.  Wondering what is wrong with me.  Connected but by a long string.  Loved but lost.  Disoriented.

Disoriented

Undeserving, honestly, of the generous, unconditional embrace from all those around me. 

I feel sometimes like two people, or living two lives.  I don’t belong fully to either of them.  I don’t fully understand either of them.

Yet there is breathtaking blessing in living two lives.  If absence makes the heart grow fonder, then long absence makes the heart really fond.

of salami

wildflowers

laughter over old family pictures

snuggling a new nephew

strawberries and ice cream

smooth roads

cousins

my Daddy’s garden

grandkids and grandparents together

fireworks

breathing in

moment

by

moment.

The brave who focus on all things good and all things
beautiful and all things true, even in the small, who give thanks for it and
discover joy even in the here and now, they are the change agents who bring
fullest Light to all the world.
(Ann Voskamp)

Yes.

Disorientation turns to clarity.  

Us

 

Just a few days before we left Tanzania, our good friend Dyan did this beautiful photoshoot for us. 

Hoping to get a good prayer card picture out of this!

Since it is so weird to know that our picture ends up on hundreds of refrigerators, anyone out there have an opinion on which picture to use?  🙂

 

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