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In Defense of Second-Class Missionaries

Imagine what it would look like for an American church to hire their staff with the same priorities that they chose missionaries to financially support.

First of all, a Children’s Pastor would definitely be out.  Not strategic enough; he’s only supporting the children of believers.  Youth Pastor?  Also out, unless he targets neighborhood kids.

How about a Music Pastor?  Or Pastoral Counselor?  Nope.  Those are just a support roles.  Not enough front-line ministry.

Administrative Pastor?  Receptionist?  Good heavens.  We could never dream of paying someone for those kind of inconsequential support roles.

How about a Preaching Pastor?  Well…..that’s if-y, but he probably doesn’t make the cut either.  After all, he’s only feeding the Body.  Most of the time, he’s not actually reaching the lost.

So that pretty much leaves only the positions of Community Outreach Pastor or Evangelist.  Yet how many American churches even have those paid positions?

I’m not suggesting that churches go about firing two-thirds of their staff.  I just want to point out a bit of a double-standard.

Recently, a friend told me, Oh, I could never consider taking a position at Haven of Peace Academy.  I know my church would never take me on for a support role.  

And from a current teacher at HOPAC, We love what we do at HOPAC, but we feel like our supporters just want to see pictures of the street kids ministry, even though that only takes up two hours of our week.

And from another teacher when hosting a short-term team:  The team gets most excited about the ministry to the poor kids.  They don’t seem to understand the importance of reaching HOPAC kids.



Let me introduce you to the class system among missionaries.

Who is on the A-List?  Well, that would be the Church Planters.  Among unreached people groups gives you A+ status.  Pastoral Trainers and Bible Translators might be able to squeak by with an A.

The B-List?  Doctors and other health workers, community development, poverty alleviation, ESL workers.

The C-List?  Administrators, missionary member care, MK teachers, or anyone else considered “support.”

This is definitely not our imagination, and any missionary I know will confirm it.  When trying to raise support for our years at Haven of Peace Academy, we called and sent information packets to over 200 churches in California.  We heard back from two.  Churches told us, over and over again, Sorry, but that ministry doesn’t fit into our strategy.  

When our ministry changed to Pastoral Training, we had churches calling us.  It was nice.  But frankly, kind of frustrating.

We didn’t switch ministries so that we would become more popular with churches.  We switched because that’s where God was leading us.  But the truth is, we don’t consider Pastoral Training to be any more strategic, or any more exciting, than Haven of Peace Academy.  

HOPAC is training the next generation of Tanzania’s leaders in a biblical worldview.  Over 50% of HOPAC’s students are Tanzanian, most from influential families.

Perhaps equally, or even more important, HOPAC is enabling missions in Tanzania. Young Life and SIL/Wycliffe have established their East African headquarters in Dar because of HOPAC!  Dozens of other organizations are able to minister here as well.

Oh come on, I can hear you saying.  Can’t all those families just homeschool?  Yes, if they had to.  A lot of missionary families don’t have another choice.  But imagine trying to homeschool your kids, and simultaneously, become fluent in another language, and learn to drive, shop, cook, clean, pay bills, play, and rest in an entirely different way.  Without any homeschool groups or co-ops or craft stores.  Sound fun?

Look at it this way.  You can either financially support a missionary mom to (possibly reluctantly) homeschool her four kids, or you can financially support a missionary teacher (who’s called to it) to teach 25.  It’s not like the mom is going to sit on her hands all day.  She’ll be right out there working in ministry.

I’m particularly passionate about MK education, but I could say the same things for all the other so-called “support” roles in missions.  I just wrote my last three posts about the often harsh realities of life overseas.  Yet when Christians stand up and say, I’m called to missionary care!  I’m called to teach MK’s!  I’m called to missions administration!, the churches say, Well, sorry, you don’t fit in our strategy.  We’d rather get behind the exciting church planters and the pastoral trainers.  Except, we expect them to do it without all the other people they need to be successful.

I sit on the board of governors at Haven of Peace Academy.  At almost every meeting, we bang our heads against the wall, asking ourselves, How are we going to get enough teachers?  Every year, it’s a problem.  Every year, we pray and plead and try to get more creative with recruitment.

But you want to know the reality?  Churches are just not as interested in supporting teachers. Heck, even missions organizations are not as interested in supporting teachers.

Listen, I’m all about strategy in missions.  But can we expand our idea of what strategy means?  Missionaries, as an extension of the Church, must function as the Body of Christ.  Could the American Church function by only hiring evangelists?  I realize that missions has different goals–we are working ourselves out of a job; we are doing everything we can to replace ourselves with national believers.  But to get there, we need the Body of Christ.

We, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.  Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them.  (Romans 12)

The legs can’t do anything without the arms and fingers and neck.  So go out today and find your nearest missionary accountant or counselor or MK teacher.  Remind them they are never second-class.

For the next school year, HOPAC is still looking for an Operations Manager, an Elementary Teacher, a P.E. teacher, a Librarian, and a Special Needs Teacher.

What Missionaries Aren’t Telling You (and What Needs to Change About That)

Part 1

Part 2



Part 3  

About a month ago, I was staring at the computer screen for 15 minutes.

Finally I looked up at Gil, frustrated.  “I got nothing,” I told him.

Our monthly prayer update was way over-due.  But I had been putting it off because I had no great stories, no answers to prayer, nothing that seemed worth sharing.

Finally I asked Gil, “Should I just write about our discouragement?”

He paused for a moment.  “Yes.”

Could I have drummed up a great little vignette about one of our students?  Probably.  Those kind of stories are always there.  It would have been true, but it would have felt fake.  The reality is that the overwhelming picture of our ministry right now is discouragement.  Things are not going as well as we had hoped.  Our plan isn’t working very well.  On top of that, there’s been a lot of sickness and injuries or just plain distractions that have been pulling our team down.

There’s probably a dozen reasons why it’s not going well.  And we’ve got a dozen ideas to change it.  We are not giving up; we’ve still got a lot of grit and oceans of grace.

But it was scary to send that email.  In the past months, I have felt the weight of our donors’ disappointment bearing me down, whispering words of criticism and failure.

Surprisingly, so far it’s only been my imagination.  The email I wrote broke all our records for the number of readers, and we probably received more responses from that one message than ever before.  Responses of love, prayers, Scripture, and encouragement poured into our inbox.   Not one word of criticism.

It makes me wish I had done it before.  This isn’t the first time we’ve felt ground into the dust, even after those first two difficult years.  Maybe I didn’t need to feel so scared after all.

However, I know that the anxiety is still there, and won’t ever leave completely.  It is a constant battle to release it to God’s control.  After all, one discouraging email is one thing….what if there are six?  Or ten?  Will people still support us?  How long will they put up with so little fruit?

And again, there is a need for delicate balance.  Even with the public lives that we lead, missionaries still are entitled to some privacy–just like anyone else.  It’s one thing to be vulnerable about ministry, but are missionaries required to share with the world that they are falling apart?  If I was to go back 14 years to do it over again, would I have shared with our entire email list that I needed counseling?  Probably not.  But I would have shared it with some.  I would have looked for those people who I knew I could trust, and poured out my heart to them.  I think it would have made a big difference.

So here’s my advice for the missionaries:

1.  Sometimes we bemoan the fact that people treat us like superstars.  We want to be seen as ordinary; we don’t want people to be intimidated by us.  But what if some of that is our fault?  What if we’ve ensured that people only see the successful, happy, brave side of us and never let them peek at  the blubbering mess on the floor?  Is it fear that keeps us from being vulnerable?  Or pride?  Our supporters don’t need to see everything, but they do need to see more than just the good stuff.

2.  Find the people who have your back.  Look hard for those safe people that you can be real with.  Trying to do this hard life on your own is just not going to work.

3.  Whose ministry is this anyway?  Are we walking in faith?  Are we actively seeking God?  Are we sure of our calling?  Then who do we have to fear?  Who are we seeking to please?  Does God’s work, His timing, His will need defending?  This is what I preach to myself every day.  This is not my ministry.  And if He needs less of me in order to make more of Him, then so be it.  



To be alive is to be broken.  And to be broken is to stand in need of grace.  Honesty keeps us in touch with our neediness and the truth that we are saved sinners.  There is a beautiful transparency to honest disciples who never wear a false face and do not pretend to be anything but who they are. (Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel)


What Missionaries Aren’t Telling You (and What They Need From You)

August 2001

I remember the day Gil took this picture during our first month in Tanzania.  Completely fake smile.  I was dying inside.  


Part 1



Part 2

Fourteen years ago, what if I had been completely transparent?

Instead of, Pray for Amy because she’s struggling emotionally, what if I written this in our email updates?

Amy is on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

We’re traveling to Kenya during our Christmas break so that Amy can talk to a counselor.

The counselor wants Amy to take anti-anxiety medication.

Instead of, Our ministry is struggling, what if we had written,

The church we are working with is on the verge of splitting.

We were sharply criticized today.  

We feel like failures.  

But we could not.  We were paralyzed by fear.

Missions is brewed in a pot of extremely high expectations.  Missionaries undergo a brutal screening process by their organization.  Church missions committees pepper them with interview questions on strategy and effectiveness.  If you want to be chosen, that’s what you’ve got to prove.

Then, once missionaries are approved, signed, sealed, commissioned, and their picture spread all over foyer walls and refrigerators across the country, they are thrust out into the world to show off their strategy and effectiveness.  After all, they’ve got scores of donors behind them who want to see the return on their investment.

I don’t know if that’s true, but that’s what it feels like.

So when the strategy doesn’t work (since it usually doesn’t the first time around), and there is very little effectiveness to be seen, what then?  What do they tell people?  When a missionary spends three months planning an event, and only three people show up, should he be upfront about it?  When the church doesn’t get planted, or when the planted church falls apart, or when the exciting new believer has been stealing from you….what then?

We wanted to be in Tanzania.  We were not going to give up that easily.  We had a good deal of grit, and a lot of God’s grace, and we were in this for a long haul.  But we were terrified to be honest about how hard it was.  We were terrified of letting people down, especially our donors.  


Surely that wouldn’t happen, you might think.  People love you!  They will support you!  They don’t care how effective you are.  

Except, we knew that is not always true.  We have a missionary friend who confided in a church leader’s wife about her struggles.  She assumed it was a personal conversation, but soon this heart-to-heart talk was spread across church leadership, and before they could blink, the missionaries were pulled off the field.  Unfortunately, the same scenario then happened to another friend.

We heard the stories of friends who lost support overnight because a church disagreed with an inconsequential decision.  We hear the rumblings of, Aren’t national missionaries cheaper?  More effective?  More strategic?  And we interpret it as One false move and you are disposable.


I realize that there is a delicate balance here, because I would agree that there are times when missionaries need to be exhorted, or confronted, or even encouraged to come home.  Supporting churches do need to keep missionaries accountable.  But missionaries need to have permission to struggle, to be confused, and even to fail.

So here’s my advice for the Senders:

1.  I encourage churches and supporters to look at missionary partnerships like a marriage.  When you are choosing to support missionaries, just like when you are choosing who you will marry, you should be really careful.  You scrutinize.  You ask a lot of questions.  You make sure there aren’t any hidden red flags.  But once you take the marriage vows, or once you sign on as a supporter, you’re all in.  For better or worse.  Just as I know my husband won’t leave me on a bad day, I hope that our supporters won’t either.

2.  If you do need to cut a missionaries’ support–for any reason–please, please communicate with them!  We totally understand when people come upon hard financial times.  But when we are suddenly dropped by a donor, with no explanation, our minds instantly go to the worst.  Did I offend them?  Am I not effective enough?  Am I a loser?  

3.  If you are on the receiving end of those missionary prayer letters, I encourage you to pray between the lines.  When you see struggle, you should most likely interpret it as STRUGGLE.  Knock your missionaries off those pedestals and remember that they are flawed and sinful and sometimes just wrong.

4.  If a missionary confides in you, either in person or in writing, know that there is a great deal of trust behind their words.  Treasure that and protect it, just like you would with any other friend.  Ensure your friend that you are a safe place with no expectations and no hidden agendas.  They need this reassurance.

If it seems like I’m being too hard on the Senders, I’ve got things to say to the missionaries as well.   Here’s Part 3.

What Missionaries Aren’t Telling You (Part 1)

Just babies….our very first prayer card in 2001

Our first two years in Tanzania were the hardest of my life.

Gil and I were 24 years old.  We had been married only 9 months.  Ten days after we arrived, I had an adverse reaction to my malaria medication that instigated over 6 months of panic attacks.  I was deep in mental darkness, and even when I began to improve, I still was barely coping a lot of the time.

My teaching job required me to wake up at 5:00 and leave the house at 6.  Usually, I didn’t get home until 5 pm.   Gil’s job took place in the afternoons and evenings.  When I got home from work each day, I immediately joined him in his ministry.  I loved what we were doing, but I was utterly exhausted.

Gil had joined a ministry that wasn’t healthy, though we were too young and naive to see it.  We received a lot of criticism and internalized it all, believing the problems really were our fault.  Gil repeatedly asked for mentoring but didn’t get it.

Then came the final blow.  There was a young man who claimed Christ, and we heavily invested in him.  He was at our house 5 days a week for almost a year.  Six weeks before we left Tanzania, we found out that he had been stealing from us.  We returned to the States in pieces.  Thankfully, God’s grace put us back together again, but it was a long road.

No one knew.

We could hardly even talk about it with each other.  For goodness sake, we were newlyweds.  In our eyes, everyone we worked with was experienced and godly and strong and competent.  We certainly couldn’t tell them we were falling apart.

You can bet your life we didn’t tell our supporters.  Oh sure, there were vague prayer requests like, “Pray for Amy because she’s struggling emotionally.”  Whatever that means.  I look back on our prayer updates and they were full of only the good stuff.  Stories about great conversations with young people, about victories and opportunities and answered prayer.

We were not lying.  The good stuff really did happen.  We wanted to stay.  In fact, we came back.  It just wasn’t the whole truth.  Everything bad, which really was overwhelming at times, got relegated to nebulous statements about “struggle.”

I’m writing today because I believe wholeheartedly that we were not alone.  Not alone in how hard it was, and not alone in feeling unable to share it with others.  My next two posts will be about what I’ve learned–one post aimed at the senders, and one post aimed at the missionaries.  Read along and tell me what you think.

Part 2

Part 3

24 Hours (A Day in My Life): A Messed Up Knee and Legendary Traffic

Wednesday, May 13

8:30 pm:  Gil is home from playing basketball, and limping and wincing.  “I think I really messed up my knee,” he tells me.  “I’ll need to go to the doctor tomorrow if it’s not feeling better.”  I know he’s serious because he almost never voluntarily wants to go to the doctor.

Thursday, May 14

6:15 am:  I am up and getting the kids ready for school.  Gil tells me that we will indeed need to see the doctor today.  It’s his right knee that is injured, so I will need to drive.

7:30 am:  I get the kids off to school, and go to my mom’s prayer group.  I cancel my Swahili lesson and our meetings with our team leader.

9:30 am:  We have stalled going to the clinic, hoping to avoid rush hour traffic.  We’ve had two weeks of solid rain, significantly damaging many roads.  We’ve been avoiding going to town lately, because we heard that the already bad traffic become atrocious.  But since it’s not raining today, and we avoided rush hour, we are hoping it won’t be too bad.

The clinic is 9 miles away.

11:15 am:  We arrive at the clinic.  Obviously, our hopes were dashed for a decent traffic day.  One hour and 45 minutes for 9 miles.  That’s bad even for Dar es Salaam.

We wait at the clinic.

12:45 pm:  Gil finally sees a doctor, who gives him crutches, and also a referral for an MRI at a hospital.  We grab some lunch and head over to the hospital.

We wait at the hospital.  I make a few phone calls to make sure our kids will be picked up from school and taken care of.  My friend Alyssa saves the day.  I love her.

3:00 pm:  Gil gets his MRI.  The doctor checks it out and wants to order an x-ray as well.  However, the x-ray machine is broken and won’t be ready for another hour.  We decide it is better to wait rather than trying this journey again tomorrow.

5:00 pm:  Gil gets his x-ray.

5:17 pm:  We are on the road to go home.  We have 10 miles to drive from the hospital to our house.

9:00 pm:  We arrive home.  That’s 10 miles in 3 hours and 45 minutes, in case you don’t want to do the math.

Conclusions:

1)  I can’t even describe the traffic here.  It’s not traffic, it’s TRAFFIC.  Yes, I’ve lived in Los Angeles.  This is nothing like that.  In Dar es Salaam, at peak traffic times, people make four lanes–or five, or six–out of two.  People drive on the side walks.  No one pays attention to stop lights.  Cars are going everywhere.  After driving 6 hours yesterday, I am utterly exhausted.

2)  We’ll get the results for Gil’s knee on Saturday.  Praying he doesn’t need surgery, or if he does, that it can be done here.  Although, if he does have to fly to South Africa for surgery, it might actually take less time to travel there than driving to the hospital in Dar es Salaam.

3)  We are now in the market for a helicopter.  Anyone got a used one lying around?

37 minutes…..HA HA HA.

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