We missed out on a lot of years, but Forever Angels volunteers took dozens of pictures. We get to recreate Johnny’s history for him, and as any adoptive family knows, that is priceless.
Category: Other Page 45 of 181
Dear Johnny,
All week I’ve been waiting for that letter. The social worker told us maybe we would get it last Monday, so when I had to wait all week for it, I was way too impatient. On Friday morning, he told us that “probably” it would be ready that day.
All day long, I pasted my phone to myself. Finally, at 4:00 pm, we got the text. The letter was ready. I jumped in the car to drive to town, even though I knew at that time of the day, it would take me three hours round trip, and even though we had guests coming for dinner. In traffic on the phone, I talked your Dad through making the lasagna and getting it in the oven. I finally got home at 7:00, but it was all totally worth it. We have the letter!
I never dreamed I would be this excited. I had really contented myself on having three children. When Tanzania turned us down the first time, your Dad and I had tried to adopt a son from Ethiopia. When that fell through, and the social worker here wasn’t budging, I had pretty much given up. We had always wanted four kids, but I figured it wasn’t meant to be. I told God that I was thankful He had at least given us three, and I could be content.
So you, my sweet boy, are just icing on the cake! You are such a special gift to us; an undeserved extra blessing.
I am in awe of it all now. When we first asked Tanzania for a fourth child and were turned down, you had not yet come to Forever Angels. It’s crazy to think that all this time, you were the one God had picked out for us. We just had to wait until it all came together.
And speaking of providential timing, it can’t be a coincidence that today would have been Jeremiah Petchnick’sthird birthday. You, John Jeremiah, are named after him, so it’s pretty amazing that you are coming home at the very same time as his birthday.
I know, my son, that this homecoming will not be easy for you. You are leaving the only place you remember, a place full of so much love and so much fun. I won’t be surprised if you cry when we take you away. But what you don’t know is that you would not have been able to stay there forever; in just a year’s time, you would have been transferred to a long-term orphanage. And there would not have been a Mommy to sit with you when you cry yourself to sleep. We know a family is what you need, even if you don’t know what a family is yet. So we are making this choice for you, and we feel the weight of that responsibility.
I look at your pictures and I dream about what you will be like. You are older than our other kids when they came home, old enough that you might even remember this event. We really don’t know anything about you, and as we’ve discovered from our other kids, the “Family” Johnny might end up being completely different from the “Orphanage” Johnny. Crazy how kids find their true selves once they finally belong to a family.
We know you might have a lot of tears. We know there might be a lot of anger inside you that needs to come out. That’s okay, my boy. You have reason to be sad and angry. That’s what we’re here for. It’s okay to be messy in this house.
But you are Coming Home. You have been chosen; our love has been put on you. And it’s a Never-Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love.** That kind of love can only come from God, who loved us first. We hope one day you’ll know His love too, but for now, He’ll show it to you through us.
Welcome Home, My Son.
Love,
Your Mom
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| Photo credit: Hannah Towlson |
**Thanks, Sally Lloyd-Jones!
Yesterday I forgot the Swahili word for twenty.
It’s one of the first Swahili words I learned….14 years ago. I’ve used it thousands of times since then. Adoptive moms definitely get pregnancy brain.
We’re waiting for one. last. letter. One last blasted stinkin’ letter.
Apparently it’s been written, but needs to be signed by another person and then stamped by yet another person….in a different building.
These last few days, I jump every time my phone rings. If you’ve called me recently, and I sound disappointed that it’s only you, I apologize. Don’t take it personally.
I’m at least two weeks overdue. This baby wants to come out. Please, somebody induce me.
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| This was two days ago. Thank you, Hannah, for continuing to post pictures of our gorgeous boy. I can’t stop looking, even though it’s torture to see them! |
I wrote this post about six months ago, but decided not to put it up on my blog. The audience was really for missionaries, and that’s not usually who I am writing for. So instead, I submitted it to A Life Overseas….and they took it! It’s up on their blog today. Check it out here….especially if you are a missionary.
“I needed people, someone who could walk me step by step through my life. I was thrust onto a new team, and into a larger missionary community. I knew nothing about these people, and yet I needed them desperately. How should I navigate those relationships?”
Start with the Right Argument
Guess what? This generation, everybody knows that a fetus is a human life. Pro-Lifers need to stop thinking it’s a convincing argument against abortion.
Pro-choice advocates no longer try to convince people that a fetus is just a blob of tissue. 3-D ultrasounds fixed that notion long ago. Maybe there’s some uneducated 15-year-old girl out there who still thinks that, but not the abortion advocates.
Science has proven that life begins at conception. It’s not contested anymore.
The real question at stake today is whether the unborn child is a person. This is where the real debate begins.
“‘The question is not really about life in any biological sense,’ intones Yale professor Paul Bloom….’It is instead asking about the magical moment at which a cluster of cells becomes more than a mere physical thing.'” (***see below for source of this and all further quotations)
“Princeton ethicist Peter Singer acknowledges that ‘the life of a human begins at conception.’ But ‘the life of a person–a being with some level of self-awareness–does not begin so early.'”
If our universe has materialistic origins, then the human body is nothing more than a disposable, yet complex machine, and our personhood is a mysterious entity that is separate from the body. This split worldview began in the Enlightenment and has been subconsciously absorbed by most westerners. Our biological body can be manipulated like any other machine to match up with our unseen person. Just because a human is alive doesn’t mean he’s a person. Thus, the pregnant woman, an established person, should not have to sacrifice her well-being for the sake of a non-person, the fetus.
Ask the Right Question
Pro-Lifers….you’ve got to stop using the argument, “It’s life, so therefore it’s murder.” It’s falling on deaf ears! The real question is, “What makes a person?”
And that question, right there, is the best one to ask in an abortion discussion. Because guess what? No one really knows the answer. And that’s dangerous. “Once personhood is separated from biology, no one can agree how to define it.” It won’t just stop at unborn children.
“James Watson, co-discoverer of the DNA double helix, recommended waiting until after birth [to call a baby a person] and giving a newborn baby three days of genetic testing before deciding whether it should be allowed to live. For Singer, personhood remains a ‘gray’ area even at three years of age.”
If an unborn baby is not a person, then what about anyone who is a burden on society? What about children born with disabilities? What about terminally ill people? What about mentally ill people? What about the poor? What about the elderly? Who gets to decide who is a person with a right to life?
Why I Really Must Stick My Nose Into Other People’s Business
A political candidate’s view on abortion is, unequivocally, the most important issue for me in any election. Not because it’s the only important issue in our society, but because it’s the most vital indication of worldview. How does the candidate define a person? If he won’t defend the most vulnerable members of our society as having the right to life, then how can I be sure he will defend anyone else’s rights?
“Liberals sometimes say, ‘If you’re against abortion, don’t have one. But don’t impose your views on others.’ At first, that might sound fair. But what liberals fail to understand is that every social practice rests on certain assumptions of what the world is like–on a worldview. When a society accepts the practice, it absorbs the worldview that justifies it. That’s why abortion is not merely a matter of private individuals making private choices. It is about deciding which worldview will shape our communal life together.”
What Does the Pro-Life Position Have to Offer?
The pro-life position is by far the most humanizing worldview out there. A human is a person and a person is a human. There is no dichotomy. If I become disabled, I will still be a person. If I am in a coma, I will still be a person. If I become elderly and frail with drool coming out of my mouth, I will still be a person. If I become pregnant, a new person forms inside of me with an equal value of personhood. Whether or not I choose to raise that person, he or she has a right to life.
“The pro-choice position is exclusive. It says that some people don’t measure up, don’t make the cut. They don’t qualify for the rights of personhood. By contrast, the pro-life position is inclusive. If you are a member of the human race, you’re ‘in.’ You have the dignity and status of a full member of the moral community.”
Are You Pro-Life or Just Anti-Abortion?
Listen, Pro-Lifers. This is where our passionate arguments often fall flat. It’s got to be more than a political position. It’s got to be a lifestyle. Don’t just be anti-abortion. Pro-life means pro-foster care. Pro-adoption. Pro-hospice care. Pro-Pregnancy Center. Pro-Single Mom Ministry. Pro-job training. Pro-Special Needs Ministry.
Picketing only does so much. Voting on election day only does so much. Are we just anti-abortion? Or actually Pro-Life? Are we willing to carry these “burdens to society?” We are asking women with unplanned pregnancies to make a huge sacrifice. Are we willing to walk alongside and sacrifice with them?
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| Ah, sweet boy, they tell us that now you know that you are getting a family, and you are so excited! We can’t wait….hopefully any day now! |
***All quotations are taken from Saving Leonardo by Nancy Pearcey, who has been the most influential voice in my life on this subject. Read her brilliant book.
