Author: Amy Medina Page 93 of 233

This Day

It was one of those ordinary moments that suddenly becomes profound.

A week ago, I was in the Shopper’s Plaza parking lot, and my phone beeped.  It was a text message from our social worker.  Which orphanage do you choose?  Forever Angels?  

I quickly texted back:  Yes!  

I went into the store and starting my grocery shopping.  The text kept swirling around in my head.  Why would he need that information?  He would only need it if he was writing our approval letter, right?  

But I was afraid to ask him.  I was afraid to hope.  After all, it’s been three and a half years since we started on the journey to adopt a fourth child.  We had to been told No more times than I can remember.  In the past couple of months, we had been given reason to hope that maybe it would happen.  But no one in social welfare had ever given us that assurance.

I finished shopping, forgetting half of what I came for, and went home with my thoughts spinning.  What are you waiting for? Gil asked me.  Just ask him!  

So I did.  I sent off the text:  Does this mean you are writing our approval letter?  

Yes.

YES!

And today, I was standing in the Tanzania Revenue Authority, getting our car registration renewed, when I got this text:  I have good news for you.  I have your letters for your fourth child.

After three and a half years of waiting and longing and despairing and praying, This Day finally came.

We have the letters in our hand.

In the next few days, Gil and I will fly up to Mwanza in northern Tanzania, where we will try to get to know about half dozen adorable, perfect little boys who each desperately need a family.

We will spend about 8 hours with these children, and then we will make our decision.  It will be an impossible decision, an unthinkable decision.  These boys are around 4-5 years old.  We are possibly the last chance for each of them to get a family.

Rejoice with us…..and then pray with us!

After this trip, we’ll still have a wait of about 1-2 months before we came bring him home.  But regardless, there was a whole lot of screaming and jumping and dancing in the Medina home today.

It finally happened.  We were convinced it wouldn’t, and yet here we are.

Since ancient times, no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.  (Isaiah 64:4)

Would You Ever Pay a Bribe?

Would you ever pay a bribe?

If you’re like most westerners, you’ve never really had to think about it.  You’ve probably never been asked for one.  The temptation has never been there.  It’s a non-issue.

Consider yourself blessed.

For the majority of the world, the giving and receiving of bribes is commonplace.  Happens every day, on every socio-economic level, in just about every aspect of society.

Imagine your child’s public elementary school teacher requiring him to bring a dollar to school every day, or else he won’t be allowed to attend class.

Imagine your high school student being required to pay off her teacher if she expects to pass her exams.  Or worse, perform a sexual favor.

Imagine running a printing business, but you never win bids unless you are willing to do the job under the table, tax free.

It’s complicated.  Public employees are often grossly underpaid.  Sometimes there’s a fine line between a bribe and a tip.  In America, we give tips after we have received good service; so is there a huge difference in giving a tip in order to receive good service?  In some cultures, it’s seen as the same thing.

So where is the ethical line?  These are difficult waters to navigate, that most in the West don’t really need to think about.  But for us, regular life.  While living here, we have been asked for bribes, subtlety and not-so-subtlety, in a multitude of situations, more than I can count.

Gil and I, from the very beginning of our time in Tanzania, have been rock solid in our refusal to pay bribes or contribute to any kind of corruption.  For any reason, in any situation.  This has meant that we have sometimes spent a half hour arguing with some sort of official.  It’s meant that once I spent an entire day trying to pay a traffic ticket and receive a receipt for it.  (I could have paid the officer who pulled me over about $5 and been done in 2 minutes.)

We don’t buy pirated movies, even though they are available on every street corner in Dar (and the only kind of movies available here).  When I am quoted a price on a piece of furniture, and then told that if I want a receipt, I will have to pay an additional 20% (the amount of sales tax), I always insist on a receipt.  (And depending on what kind of mood I’m in, give them a little lecture as well.)

As Christians, we should be absolutely committed to integrity.  But is there ever a time and place when paying bribes is justified?  What about Oskar Schindler, rescuing Jews?  He paid lots of bribes.  What about the people who are smuggling Bibles into North Korea, who regularly bribe border guards?  Is that justified?  There’s probably no easy answer.

Finding out about the American illegal international adoptions(often by Christians) happening in Tanzania shook me to my core.  It’s been a long time since something made me so angry.  There is no way this is happening without bribery or other forms of corruption.  And I am fighting it this week, by writing personal letters to agencies and families, urging them to reconsider.

Yet I’m sure if I were face to face with these families, or with case workers from these agencies, they would justify what they were doing.  Isn’t it worth it to give a child a better life?  What hope do these children have?  What if they end up on the street?  What if they have a condition they could die from in this country?  Don’t the ends justify the means?

No.  For me, this is an easy answer.

And the difference between this situation and Nazi Germany, or North Korea, is that I still have hope for Tanzania and it’s government. If paying bribes in those situations were justified, it’s because bribes were used as a means of bringing down a government.  Yes, there is plenty of corruption going on here.  But I believe in the future of this country, and Tanzania’s problems could be helped significantly by eliminating corruption, not contributing to it.  Tanzania has adoption laws, and their goal is to protect children, so there is no reason not to follow those laws.  Corruption brings down governments.  Corruption breeds death.  Rescuing a few children, at the expense of millions of others, is just not worth it.  

Would I love to see international adoption happening in this country?  Yes, especially for special needs children.  Does a lot still need to change?  Is there still room for reform?  Of course.  But reform is not going to happen by enabling more corruption.

We Americans wring our hands about poverty and child-trafficking and orphan care.  Let’s not make the problem worse by trying to help in the wrong way.

If you ever hear of people pursuing a Tanzanian adoption who are not living here, please put them in touch with me.  



Term 3: Pretty Much All About Sports

These are a few of my favorite things:  First grade boys with no teeth

The fire truck visits kindergarten

Farmer Lily in her kindergarten assembly

Josiah on Sports Day….God made him fast!

This one’s fast too!  Won all her races that day.

And Lily….just had fun.  

The night before the races, I asked her, “What’s more important than winning, Lily?”

She said, “Letting other people win?”

Grade 3 Assembly

U9 Girls’ Soccer…and their fantastic coach!

Grace ran her first 5K…at age 9!  Josiah and Lily ran the 1K…and my little speedy, 40 pound 7-year-old boy took everyone down!  

And the winners are…..

Congratulations to my winners, and thank you to all who participated!  

Winners, please send me a personal message on Facebook with your addresses, so that we can send you your prize!

Brian and Bethany Lievens

Melinda Tillotson

Rebekah Giannini

(Please don’t blame Gil for the awful quality of these pictures….I am definitely not a photographer!)

Let Me Make Something Extremely Clear: I DO NOT WANT YOU TO ADOPT FROM TANZANIA

I realize that many, many times on this blog, I have been an advocate for international adoption.  I have been an advocate for Tanzanian adoption.  I have wanted Tanzanian laws to allow more adoptions.

I love Tanzania’s orphans.  I want to see more Tanzanians have a heart for adoption.  I want to see Tanzanian churches and Christians step up in the area of orphan care and adoption.

But let me make this crystal clear:  I would never, ever advocate for someone to adopt a child, from Tanzania or anywhere, by going around the laws of the country.

I discovered yesterday that this is exactly what is happening.  There are American adoption agencies, and American families–Christian families–who are attempting to adopt children in Tanzania.

Tanzanian adoption law is extremely clear.  You must live in this country for three years before you can apply to adopt.  There are no exceptions.  You foster a child for six months, and then you apply to legalize the adoption.  It always works that way.  It’s a slow process, it’s a frustrating process, but it works.

I am horrified…let me reiterate…HORRIFIED…to find out that there are American agencies and families who are trying to get around that process.  The only way–the ONLY WAY–that is happening is because major money is being shifted around.  I’m sure the families are in the dark about this.  They are trusting agencies and orphanages who should know better.

So when I see cute little fundraising pages for American (Christian) families who are raising money for their $30,000 Tanzanian adoption….the frustration, the outrage I feel just cannot be communicated in words.

All three of our adoptions have been incredibly ethical.  The process here is slow and frustrating, but it works.  It is also FREE, other than lawyers’ fees at the very end.  So where do you think the $30,000 is going?

What do you think that kind of corruption will breed?

Sure, you give a kid or two a better life, but what happens when all adoptions in Tanzania are shut down due to corruption?

I care about Tanzania’s orphans, but I also care about Tanzania.  I would never, ever endorse an adoption that will only breed more corruption, deceit, and most likely, child trafficking.

Please friends, if you are pursuing an international adoption, ask the hard questions!  Be wary of “Pilot Programs” in new countries!  Be wary of small agencies who don’t have much experience!  Don’t cut corners!  It’s just not worth it!

Please, if you know anyone pursuing a Tanzanian adoption (who is not a resident of Tanzania), share this with them.  My friends, let us love the orphan.  But let us love truth and justice too.

I’m only posting a cute orphan picture because I want people to click on this link.  Because seriously, I’m not in the mood for impressing the world with cuteness right now.  

*Update January 2016:  If you are considering a Tanzanian adoption and found this post through a Google search, please contact me.  I have a lot more information that I would love to share with you.  amedina(at)reachtanzania(dot)org.

Please also consider reading the series I wrote on adoption corruption, starting here.

Page 93 of 233

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