Author: Amy Medina Page 90 of 233

Thank You For Loving My Son

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On August 20, 2015

In Adoption

We missed out on three years and 10 months.  

He’s ours now.  But until then, you loved him.  

You changed his diapers; you washed his diapers–by hand.  You gave him baths twice a day; You fed him healthy meals.  You cuddled him and gave him good night kisses.  You potty trained him and changed his sheets every day.  You chased him and made him laugh.  You taught him his numbers and the names of all the animals.  You gave him bubbles and glitter and paper mache.   You gave him your lap and you let him get his snot all over you.  

He was missing a family, but you gave him everything else possible while he waited.  His life was full of enriching experiences.  He is healthy and strong.  

How can I possibly thank you?  How could I ever repay you?  You loved him like he was your own, and then you loved him enough to give him to me.  

Thank you, Amy Hathaway, for running the best orphanage in Tanzania.  Thank you for saving the lives of so many children.  Thank you for giving them the best start possible, but also not being satisfied with what you could give them.  Thank you for doing everything you can to get them back into their biological families or find them new ones.  

Thank for to all the Mamas who dearly loved and cared for my son in thousands of ways.  Thank you to all the foreign volunteers who keep coming to Forever Angels for long and short times and love and sacrifice for the children there.  There were hundreds of people who loved my son before I did.  I will always be grateful for you.

Lillian, a manager at Forever Angels, with Lily, her namesake!  

If you’re looking for a worthy cause to donate to, consider Forever Angels (password to see the children is Tanzania).  It is a truly excellent orphanage, which first and foremost seeks for family reunification.  When that doesn’t happen, they look hard for good placements for their children.  I trust them completely.

Forever Angels also has an excellent and organized volunteer program.  I would recommend it for any young (or old!) person who desires to work at an orphanage.

One Less Orphan

By

On August 19, 2015

In Adoption

Monday, August 17th

Mwanza is 700 miles away in northern Tanzania, on the shores of Lake Victoria.  Gil, Lily, and I flew up in the afternoon.  Lily got to come because we were going to Forever Angels, My Orphanage, as Lily describes it.  She was two when she left.  She had no memory of it, so we aimed to fix that.  

We arrived at Forever Angels at 6:00 pm.  Hannah, one of the longer-term volunteers, was sitting outside with Johnny when we arrived.  She told us later that he had been so excited all day, eagerly telling anyone who would listen that he was getting a mama and baba, and would be going on the airplane.  

But when the longed-for moment came, he shrank inside himself.  He knew how to relate to us when we were just ordinary visitors–because he had seen a lot of those.  But a mama and baba?  No clue.  I crept up to him and sat with him on the couch, where he was clutching the picture of us that he had examined for the past two weeks.  

Since it was dinner time, the plan was to go to a restaurant together with Hannah and Georgie, volunteers that Johnny knew and loved well.  He let me hold him in the taxi, but during dinner, he stuck with Hannah.  His big eyes kept a worry crease, but usually we could get him to laugh.  

Tuesday, August 18th

We hung out in the Baby Home, which is not known for peace or quiet.  The children barrage any friendly face–or even not-so-friendly–the moment you step in the door.  If you’ve got an arm or a lap free–or part of a lap–they want in on it.  As far as they were concerned, even Lily was big enough to be fair game.  

When we went outside, we discovered Johnny was hiding behind a playhouse, which we were told he does often.  He let me hold him, but mostly he kept his distance.  I caught him solemnly watching us from across the garden.

At lunch time, we decided to take Johnny out with just us, to practice for that evening’s departure.  We ate at a deserted hotel down the road, where it was just our family.  We pushed on the swings and we played hide and seek, and Johnny was won over.  For a while, the worry line disappeared and the smile emerged.  I repeated to him what I had been saying all day.  Will you come on the airplane with us?  Will you come to our house?  Finally, instead of stoic eyes, I got tiny nods.  

Then we went to the social welfare office to make everything official.  

In the evening, we took Johnny back into the Baby Home to say goodbye.  The children mobbed him.  Kwa Heri, Johnny!  Good-bye, Johnny!  Hugs, kisses.

I couldn’t hold back the tears.  

Because so many had loved him.

Because the loss in his life is real.

Because there were so many others left behind.

He was so brave.  He took my hand, a total stranger, and walked off from the place he loved.  So much trust in one little three-year-old boy.  

He fought sleep for hours, taking in dozens of new sights and experiences.  He finally succumbed in the plane, and we got to our home in Dar es Salaam at midnight.

Wednesday, August 19–today

He met Grace and Josiah today, and as I write, he is sleeping after his first full day at home.  More about that later.  But for now, I just want to celebrate that there is one less orphan in the world, and that there are four children in my house, and that they are mine.

To My Son, On the Night Before We Bring You Home

By

On August 16, 2015

In Other

Dear Johnny,

All week I’ve been waiting for that letter.  The social worker told us maybe we would get it last Monday, so when I had to wait all week for it, I was way too impatient.  On Friday morning, he told us that “probably” it would be ready that day.

All day long, I pasted my phone to myself.  Finally, at 4:00 pm, we got the text.  The letter was ready.  I jumped in the car to drive to town, even though I knew at that time of the day, it would take me three hours round trip, and even though we had guests coming for dinner.  In traffic on the phone, I talked your Dad through making the lasagna and getting it in the oven.  I finally got home at 7:00, but it was all totally worth it.  We have the letter!

I never dreamed I would be this excited.  I had really contented myself on having three children.  When Tanzania turned us down the first time, your Dad and I had tried to adopt a son from Ethiopia.  When that fell through, and the social worker here wasn’t budging, I had pretty much given up.  We had always wanted four kids, but I figured it wasn’t meant to be.  I told God that I was thankful He had at least given us three, and I could be content.

So you, my sweet boy, are just icing on the cake!  You are such a special gift to us; an undeserved extra blessing.

I am in awe of it all now.  When we first asked Tanzania for a fourth child and were turned down, you had not yet come to Forever Angels.  It’s crazy to think that all this time, you were the one God had picked out for us.  We just had to wait until it all came together.

And speaking of providential timing, it can’t be a coincidence that today would have been Jeremiah Petchnick’sthird birthday.  You, John Jeremiah, are named after him, so it’s pretty amazing that you are coming home at the very same time as his birthday.

I know, my son, that this homecoming will not be easy for you.  You are leaving the only place you remember, a place full of so much love and so much fun.  I won’t be surprised if you cry when we take you away.  But what you don’t know is that you would not have been able to stay there forever; in just a year’s time, you would have been transferred to a long-term orphanage.  And there would not have been a Mommy to sit with you when you cry yourself to sleep.  We know a family is what you need, even if you don’t know what a family is yet.  So we are making this choice for you, and we feel the weight of that responsibility.

I look at your pictures and I dream about what you will be like.  You are older than our other kids when they came home, old enough that you might even remember this event.  We really don’t know anything about you, and as we’ve discovered from our other kids, the “Family” Johnny might end up being completely different from the “Orphanage” Johnny.  Crazy how kids find their true selves once they finally belong to a family.

We know you might have a lot of tears.  We know there might be a lot of anger inside you that needs to come out.  That’s okay, my boy.  You have reason to be sad and angry.  That’s what we’re here for.  It’s okay to be messy in this house.

But you are Coming Home.  You have been chosen; our love has been put on you.  And it’s a Never-Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love.**  That kind of love can only come from God, who loved us first.  We hope one day you’ll know His love too, but for now, He’ll show it to you through us.

Welcome Home, My Son.

Love,

Your Mom

Photo credit:  Hannah Towlson

**Thanks, Sally Lloyd-Jones!

Somebody Please Induce This Labor

By

On August 12, 2015

In Other

Yesterday I forgot the Swahili word for twenty.

It’s one of the first Swahili words I learned….14 years ago.  I’ve used it thousands of times since then.  Adoptive moms definitely get pregnancy brain.

We’re waiting for one. last. letter.  One last blasted stinkin’ letter.

Apparently it’s been written, but needs to be signed by another person and then stamped by yet another person….in a different building.

These last few days, I jump every time my phone rings.  If you’ve called me recently, and I sound disappointed that it’s only you, I apologize.  Don’t take it personally.

I’m at least two weeks overdue.  This baby wants to come out.  Please, somebody induce me.

This was two days ago.  Thank you, Hannah, for continuing to post pictures of our gorgeous boy.  I can’t stop looking, even though it’s torture to see them!

5 Tips for Newbies About Relationships with Oldies (From an Oldie)

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On August 10, 2015

In Other

I wrote this post about six months ago, but decided not to put it up on my blog.  The audience was really for missionaries, and that’s not usually who I am writing for.  So instead, I submitted it to A Life Overseas….and they took it!  It’s up on their blog today.  Check it out here….especially if you are a missionary.

“I needed people, someone who could walk me step by step through my life.  I was thrust onto a new team, and into a larger missionary community.  I knew nothing about these people, and yet I needed them desperately.  How should I navigate those relationships?”

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