Author: Amy Medina Page 9 of 231

I Want to Need You

On September 21, 2023

I bonded with Mark and Jan when I called them ten days after arriving in Tanzania because I had a panic attack. I became friends with Prakash and Harsha when they invited Gil and me to sleep at their house that night.

Carol showed me how to grocery shop in a new country. I got to know Alyssa during her long hours combing lice out of my hair. Everest became an extension of our family during the years he fixed our plumbing, electricity, and immigration problems. We called Dan and Janet when Gil broke out in a sudden, high fever. Janelle and I became friends while being stranded by the old school car multiple times. Lucy and I shared our life stories while she patiently stretched my Swahili skills.

When thrust into a country where I had no extended family, didn’t speak the language, and had to learn new ways of surviving, I had to throw myself at the mercy of others. Yes, it was humiliating to be so dependent, but I didn’t have a choice. And when I got my feet under me and other new people arrived, they turned to me for a lifeline – and it was fulfilling and gratifying to help. Bonds formed quickly, deeply, permanently.

These weren’t just friendships based on casual, common interests. They were relationships built on necessity and desperation, forming an intricate web of the sorrows and joys of daily life.

When we relocated to a brand new city in California three years ago, I found myself frustrated that it took so long to make friends and feel like I was part of a community. In Tanzania, it had happened almost instantaneously. What was different? It slowly dawned on me: In America, I didn’t need to depend on anyone.

Worth Your Time (August 2023)

By Amy Medina

On August 29, 2023

In Book Recommendations, Worth Your Time

Social Media and Youth Mental Health Even the Surgeon General is sounding the alarm about social media for kids and teens. Our kids aren’t happy about how we regulate them on this, but we aren’t budging. Too much is at stake.

Social Media is Causing Our Children to Suffer “The nature of community is greatly affected by social media. While these platforms offer a way to connect with others, they promote shallow, fleeting interactions over meaningful, deep relationships. This can impair the development of critical social skills such as empathy and conflict resolution.”

Which connects to my next topic….

What Social Science Tells Us About How to Escape Poverty This is totally fascinating. Hint: It has everything to do with community and nothing to do with donating food, clothes, or even money.

Good Genes are Nice, But Joy is Better (You’ll sense a pattern in these articles!) “Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives, the study revealed. Those ties protect people from life’s discontents, help to delay mental and physical decline, and are better predictors of long and happy lives than social class, IQ, or even genes.”

If you’re a parent of teens, you’ll appreciate these thoughts by Gretchen Ronnevik. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I have nearly 4 teens now, and I’ve learned a lot the hard way, and see other parents around me with less kids who are just getting to that stage make the same mistakes I made, so I want to share what I’ve learned.”

Books (Amazon links….but remember to buy used!)

Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan. A beautifully written short novel about the power of redemption.

When We Called Myanmar Home by Julie Jean Francis. Third Culture Kids and their parents will relate to this bittersweet book about loving a country that’s not your own.

Fostered: One Woman’s Powerful Story of Finding Faith and Family Through Foster Care by Tori Hope Petersen. Though there were some parts of Tori’s story that I think she’ll see differently when she’s older, I really enjoyed this memoir of growing up in foster care. These kinds of stories always give me insights into my own kids.

This reunion with kids they’ve known their whole lives was truly special.

Gil and his brother took the boys on a camping trip.

The Mystery of Salvation: My Story of Doubt and Faith

By Amy Medina

On August 21, 2023

In Book Recommendations, Liberia, My Memoirs

I remember the indignation I felt over the miniature potted plant.

I was eight years old, and it was Sunday School at the big Baptist church on the hill. The fluorescent lights flickered as we squirmed in our metal folding chairs while the teacher asked us to raise our hands if we wanted to invite Jesus into our hearts. She reminded us that every head was bowed and every eye was closed because, apparently, this was a secret decision. We peeked behind fingers laced in front of our eyes.

A brown-haired girl was summoned behind the room divider and reappeared a few minutes later, surrounded by the approving gaze of the teachers. She seemed rather flippant for one who had just done something that required the rest of us to sit so solemnly with every-head-bowed-and-every-eye-closed.

I knew what had happened behind the room divider; the drill was familiar, even with only eight years under my belt. The teacher would have recited a prayer; the girl would have repeated it, and presto: Jesus was now in her heart.

When the brown-haired girl emerged, she was holding a fake miniature potted plant: a prize, presumably, for raising her hand. Jealously flamed. I loved anything miniature, and I briefly contemplated raising my hand too. Yet I was caught in a conundrum: I had learned that you could only ask Jesus into your heart once, and I had already done so with my mother when I was five years old, right next to the record player that sat under the dining room window. There was nothing I could do to get myself that prize. I wondered, should this decision even warrant a prize? The unfairness planted itself as a memory.

By 12, my faith had grown with my shoe size. In Liberia, I was incubated in an extraordinary community of multicultural Christians. Why wouldn’t I want to align myself with their God? Every night, I sat on my bed and read five chapters of the Bible, framed by the old-fashioned brown-flowered wallpaper in my bedroom. I went straight through until I got bogged down in Isaiah and skipped to the New Testament. I wrote little notes with goals for myself on how to improve in one fruit of the Spirit each month. I cried when I prayed for my unsaved family members.

I told my Dad I was ready to be baptized. In Liberia, the school gymnasium was also the church, representing the worst of times (P.E.) and the best of times (Psalty musicals). One Sunday, I stood outside that gymnasium while the cover was pulled off of the small concrete baptismal, and I stood in line in the red dust with several others. “Why do you want to be baptized?” the pastor asked me. “So that I can show the world I’m a Christian,” was my confident reply.

But yet, I had doubts. When did I actually become a Christian? I had no dramatic conversion story; I couldn’t remember not believing. So was my faith legitimate? What else did I need to do? Fear of being Left Behind permeated my generation. How could I be sure I was in?

I Love Good Deals But Loathe the Price

By Amy Medina

On July 31, 2023

In Poverty

I’m not sure if my girls actually listen to my unrehearsed rants or just tune them out. So when I told them that I no longer want to see a Shein package delivered to my house while I am still alive and breathing (so help me God!), they patted me on the back and didn’t even roll their eyes.

If you haven’t heard of Shein, your daughters have. It is the world’s largest online-only fashion company. It generated 23 billion dollars in revenue last year and anticipates growing 40% this year. Shein is a Chinese company that produces dirt-cheap, super-trendy-but-poorly-made-clothing. Think fast food, but clothes. My girls love the $10 bathing suits and dresses. I taught them to be thrifty. So why wouldn’t they love it?

Last week I read that Shein (and Temu, another “Fast Fashion” company) have been under investigation for non-compliance with the Uyghur Forced Labor Protection Act. Shein denies the accusations, but the company exploits an import loophole that keeps them under the radar of any and all import regulations. Basically, their defense holds zero weight.

Should it matter?

My thoughts shuffle backward; I see an ironic mirror in American history. I wonder: Where did all the cotton from the slave plantations go? What about the sugar, the rice, the tobacco? These were cash crops. They were exported. Who bought them?

Worth Your Time (July 2023)

By Amy Medina

On July 26, 2023

In Book Recommendations, Worth Your Time

Trying something new! Instead of doing a couple of posts a year with my book recommendations, I’m going to write them monthly, and include links to videos and other resources as well. Feel free to share your ideas with me!

Videos and Music:

Maverick City Music sounds beautiful but is even more wonderful to watch.
Vocamonix is an excellent Nigerian acapella group.

Universe Size Comparison –for when you need to remember how small you are and simultaneously how incredible you are.
College softball players with a 53-game winning streak talk about the difference between happiness and joy.

Articles:

Embrace Your Otherness by Jen Wilkin: “Sweet child, study the way you are feeling today. Because I love you, I ask this of you: lean into your “otherness”—learn the contours of its face, feel out the steady grip of its hand. Because I intend it to be your lifelong companion. It is a truer friend than those who surround you now. More than I want your comfort, I want you to be an alien and a stranger.”

This is Pro-Life: Powerful Photos of Older People with Downs Syndrome Defy Misconceptions

Books:

Lots of people are talking about the “Shiny Happy People” documentary about Bill Gothard and the Duggars–and it’s important. Jinger Duggar Vuolo’s memoir Becoming Free Indeed tells a similar story, but I appreciated how she gave a nuanced perspective on her childhood and her family, and how she carefully “disentangled” Gothard’s legalism from true faith. It’s a courageous book.

All My Knotted-Up Life by Beth Moore was both delightful and sobering. I’d only read one other Beth Moore book, but I’ve admired her insight, humor, and grace on Twitter, and this memoir only increased my respect for her. She’s a gifted storyteller so it’s a page-turner on its own, but it’s also an important book because of what it reveals about American evangelical culture. I highly recommend it.

Gil teaches a section on dating and relationships in one of his Bible classes, so he’s always reading up on what’s happening in American culture on this topic. He talked so much about American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus by Lisa Wade that I decided I needed to read it myself. It’s not a Christian book, but that doesn’t keep it from revealing how the hookup culture on college campuses is scarring our young people. This is a very hard book to stomach–but is a must-read for any parents sending their children off to college.

I was completely ignorant about how difficult it is to take down sex offenders until I read What is a Girl Worth?: My Story of Breaking the Silence and Exposing the Truth about Larry Nassar and USA Gymnastics by Rachael Denhollander. Even though Nassar had abused hundreds of girls, no one could stop him until Rachael–a tenacious lawyer–put everything in her life on the line to find justice. It is a compelling and eye-opening story.

Pictures are from our trip to Yosemite and Gold Country in June.