Wanting to Buy a Little Pink Toothbrush

Monday is our grocery shopping day. As we passed the shampoo, toothpaste, lotion….I paused and examined the children’s toothbrushes. I almost said to the kids, “Let’s pick one out for your sister!”

But I stopped. Too soon, I told myself. Don’t let your heart go. Don’t start planning…yet. In the past few weeks, I’ve thought about going through all of Grace’s stored-up clothes to see what I have in stock for our new little one. I’ve thought about buying her a dresser. Or getting new bibs or cleaning off the pack n’ play. But I haven’t. Because we still don’t have a due date.

Recently we talked with some friends who are interested in Tanzanian adoption. “It’s important to remember,” I told them, “that you must get used to disappointment.”

Today was one of those days. For the past two and half weeks, we’ve been waiting on a police report. The social worker in Mwanza is supposed to send a letter (it’s always about the letters!) to the local police requesting a letter from them which states that the child has been relinquished and is thus available for foster care. Amy H., the director of Forever Angels, told me that the social worker said she made this request of the police the very day after I visited.

So we’ve been waiting for the police report. To get sent to the social worker. Which then gets sent down to the main office in Dar es Salaam. During the past week and a half, Amy kept telling me that the social worker was out of the office at a funeral, and apparently no one else in the office could do anything without her there. But I wasn’t terribly concerned since really, it was the police were who supposed to be writing a letter at this point. Amy was checking daily (she is amazingly persistent) and finally, today, the social worker was back.

She sent me a text. I was so excited to see it was from her. Had the police report been sent?

No. In fact, Amy was sorry to say, the social worker had not even made the request from the police yet (despite telling us she had). She said that the social worker was writing it that very moment (I’m sure Amy made sure of that…I can imagine her, standing over her shoulder until it was done), but that still means that absolutely nothing has happened these past two and a half weeks.

So basically that means there is no way we will have her by the end of May. Maybe by the end of June.

Today, I am tired of being disappointed and feeling rather sorry for myself. I will get over it. I’ve been through this enough times now, and seen so many delays and so many miracles, to know that God is in control of both.

But I’m glad I didn’t buy the toothbrush….yet.