Today we were at a kids’ play place, and Lily was jumping on the trampoline. When she wanted to get off, a worker there reached for her to take her down. I was also standing there watching her, and she looked at the two of us, and turned to me instead.
Since Lily often makes no distinction between a perfect stranger and me, I considered that a good sign. Or maybe she just chose me because the worker was male. And wearing a clown costume. But we’ll just assume that it’s because she is bonding.
Really, she’s doing great. She gets the carseat thing now. She doesn’t freak out around the dogs. She is able to go up and down stairs (that one had surprised me–but why should it? She had never used stairs in her life). She will tolerate hot dogs. She’s figured out how to get herself water from the filter. Potty training has gone out the window, but I’m guessing she’ll get it back quickly when we start working on it. She loves to be held but hates to hold my hand. She gets more words and more sentences every day. Her giggle is infectious.
From everything I can tell, she is adjusting excellently. It’s been a crazy month that passed in a blur, but even with all the craziness, I managed to keep her by my (or Gil’s) side the entire time, except for about 4 hours total all month. Exhausting, but worth it. This week we moved her into the kids’ room with no distress.
Honestly, the hardest part for me right now is Josiah. Lily’s tantrums wear me out, but I can outlast her. Josiah, however, has had some pretty rough days. Like terrible-horrible-no good-very bad-I’m moving to Australia-days. Grouchy, whiny, mean, reverting to kicking-screaming on the floor behavior….All.Day.Long. Ugh. I knew my adorable, complicated little boy would have a hard adjustment, but he is wearing me down. Help me out here, Moms. Is this normal for some kids when they get a new sibling? Or is it because Lily is a toddler? We’re giving him extra attention; we’re praising him up and down; we’re giving him rewards when he does well….trying everything to not to have to discipline him for the entire day. Because that’s what it feels like. Sometimes he has already hit his sister before I even make it into the bedroom in the morning….not because she has done anything to him. Just because she exists.
Nothing like parenting to humble a person!
gutmanfam
Sin nature at its finest, huh? Theirs, I mean … I mean, it couldn't be MINE that shows through … Yeah, parenting brings it all to light. Josiah's age is a hard one anyway, let alone adding a sister all of a sudden. Hang in there & keep up the good (hard) effort. There WILL come a day when you won't be disciplining ALL day long.
jibberish
I, too, encourage the "this too shall pass" perspective. God has a purpose in this phase for both Josiah and the rest of you. Pray for wisdom and trust that He's giving it–even if you don't feel like He is.
Alison H
Amy, more than you can ever know, I appreciate your transparency through all of this. And I'm praying for you and your precious crew. Thank you for letting God use you in my life in this way! 🙂 Love you, sister!
Amy Medina
Carol and Amanda–Coming from women with such mothering expertise as yourselves, your words are an encouragement!
And Alison–glad my weakness can encourage someone else. 🙂
Unknown
Hi Amy,
I just caught up on your blog and am so happy that you have Lily added to your family. She is so blessed to be with you all, and although this is a trying time of adjustment I just know that you will look back at these days and smile and thank God for them. Hang in there. We will spend some time as a family today praying for your family!!!
Amy Medina
Jen–great to hear from you! I lost the address for your blog and can't find it…will you email me with it? I want to keep up with you!
ZoeMarks
Amy, whilst I am praying for patience, grace and wisdom for you all (working with 3-5 yr olds I am totally aware of these classic tantrums!) if Josiah is having no good very bad horrible move to Australia type days, Australia will happily have him till he grows out of them! Either that or I'll just have to get on a plane and come back 😉
Amy Medina
ha…thanks, Zoe!
Tundra Mom
I'm late here, haven't read in a while… Guess what? Weston never liked Sierra, never really bonded with here. Sierra was almost a year old and Weston asked when she was going back to the hospital.?! I interally freaked out… I just said, "never, she's our family. She'll always be here." That settled it for him. I think he thought we were on a long term babysitting mission! 🙂