Looking Up

It feels like a miscarriage.  I had that happen once. 

It’s not the worst pain in the world; it’s not the worst tragedy.  It’s just so disappointing and sad. 

Probably the hardest part is knowing that James’ future is so uncertain.  He can stay at the baby home until he is five; then he will have to transfer to a children’s home.  Some of them are pretty nice places.  Some of them.  And then what happens when he is 18?  What happens to any orphan when they are 18?  So I pray for a family for him. 

I pray that God works in the hearts of Tanzanians to turn them to adoption.  There are some, of course, who are willing to brave the social stigma of having an adopted child.  But only a precious few. 

And I pray that God changes the hearts of those who have the power to change adoption laws in this country.  In the last years, the laws have gotten more restrictive, not less.  Last year, the law was changed to say that any foreigner has to live in this country for three years before they can apply to adopt a child.  And just recently, new regulations have been put in place that restrict the number of adopted children in a family to three.

And that is why we cannot bring home James.  And not only James, but we will not ever be able to adopt in Tanzania again. 

Of course, there are millions of children in other countries who need families, and we will be praying about that and considering our options.  But how sad, how completely sad, that in a country of 3 million orphans–a country we love and cherish–that we cannot give at least one more child a chance at love.

There are many, many things that have happened in these past months, or even these past five years of our adoption journey, that could make a person very bitter and cynical.  But I am choosing to remember that God is sovereign even over governments and the hearts of men.  His plans are greater than mine. 

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10 Comments

  1. Alyssa

    Amy, I'm crying with you. I will not forget James. I will pray with you. I feel like they are empty words. I'm so sorry, Amy. So, so sorry.

  2. Tundra Mom

    I'm so sorry Amy. Praying for your family and James too. Praying for a loving Christian home for him.

  3. gutmanfam

    Oh, Amy. I'm so sorry. I don't have any more words than that.

  4. Anonymous

    im sorry amy i pray your adoption journey will continue hopefully now internationally!!

    jenny

  5. Audra

    Amy, I am so sorry you are not able to bring him home. I am crying with you and fervently praying for a family for this sweet little boy. God has already saved him from so much, we will pray for God to provide the perfect family for this little one.
    Audra

  6. Audra

    Amy, I am so sorry you are not able to bring him home. I am crying with you and fervently praying for a family for this sweet little boy. God has already saved him from so much, we will pray for God to provide the perfect family for this little one.
    Audra

  7. Cecilie

    Dear Amy,
    I'm so so sorry for you guys, and for James. You'll both be in my prayers..
    -Cecilie

  8. jibberish

    Very sad news, indeed, for your family, for James, and for countless other needy children in Tanzania. I know that God will provide for His children and pray that He will change Tanzania's laws to reflect His heart for widows and orphans.

  9. Anonymous

    Meho & Meja, we are so sorry, but we must have faith that the Lord will provide a family for James. We will be praying for James. Love Dad & Mom

  10. Edie

    God can perform miracles and we will pray that the leaders of Tanzania will see the need of their children and will realize that a family can adopt more than 3!! Goodness….3, that's nothing!! 🙂

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