Josiah was not happy about getting a little sister.
For the first few months, he was grouchy, mean, and nasty….all the time.
Then he started getting the spark back in his eyes, but he was still mean. Poor Lily has been kicked, pinched, hit, called names, shoved down in the bathtub, had the door slammed in her face, and her big toe cut with scissors.
We’ve been trying everything. Every kind of consequence we can think of. He’s had a positive incentive sticker chart. He gets little prizes on good days (and there’s not very many good days). We have been talking and talking and talking to him. About how big brothers are supposed to be their little sister’s rescuer, protector, superhero.
Though she doesn’t make it easy either. She is stubborn and strong-willed and she starts screaming if he just looks at her cross-eyed. Quite often I have both of them in separate corners, screaming their heads off.
But I’ve wondered if Josiah is ever going to get it. Or if I’ll just be visiting him in prison.
Slowly, slowly, I’ve been hearing them giggle together. And now, at bedtime, he makes sure to say, “I love you, Lily!”
Then there was this morning. We were playing outside on the trampoline, and Josiah stopped at one point and ran into the house. He came back out with two cups of water.
“I didn’t know if Lily was ‘firsty, so I brought her some water too.”
And then, when she finished hers, he poured some of his water into her cup.
And my heart melted and I got all teary.
Maybe there is hope after all.
Carley
Oh! 🙂
jibberish
Too sweet! . . . and from the parental perspective a reminder of the patience and persistence God shows with us in our sin. How many reminders to we often need before we "get it"?
Amy Medina
Indeed, Amanda!
Megan @ SimplyThrifty
I smiled when I read about Josiah bringing Lilly the water. Baby steps are good.
I've been using a simple behavior system lately and it has really seemed to be helping on how Taeya treats Brecken. My sister has also found it to be effective mostly with the behavior of her two girls. You can read about it on my friend's blog here: http://bekkielynn.blogspot.com/2011/12/tips-and-tricks-behavior-jars.html
I like that it is very visual for her as she moves her beads back and forth. The first day, she got all bad beads and on the second day almost all good beads. Some days are better than others but when she starts moving beads from the naughty jar to the good jar, she often tells me, "My beads are going the right way!" So far, it's been simple to do and has been pretty effective.
Amy Medina
thanks, Megan. Will check it out!
Tundra Mom
hi! I read all of your blog tonight to catch up. My world is still rocked by living among the poor. I like you suggestions. Thanks for your brave writing. Here there is much to do here too.
Trying to figure out how to help while giving dignity is such a question. I like your suggestion of employing others. I am still figuring out my role here, but i know it's time to do something.
On a seperate note, Weston didn't like Sierra at all. When she was six months old he asked when she would go back to the hospital. I was shocked. Once I explained she was here for good, he warmed to her.
Now looking back, I wonder if he was thinking she'd leave because everyone else in his life did. I'm sure you've been more clear with Josiah than I was with Weston, but thought I'd mention it. I think its an added stress with MKs.
But I think a new sibling is a big transition regardless and everything will be all right!